Post 39 – The Past

Question: Is it possible to let go of the past?


The past is not tomorrow,

Tomorrow is not the past.

Today is nothing but my day,

Live today without a tomorrow.

Live today without a yesterday.

Live now and melt in the present.

Allow the present to wrap around you,

Let compassion bring you warmth.

Answer: First of all, what is the past? The past is simply moments that you had lived. But the question is did you really live those moments of the past? Can you honestly say that the past is completely yours? It never is yours until you have complete awareness throughout each day. Love is always linked to the past. Everyone clings on to the past due to love. It keeps their hopes up of a reconciliation if they remember the past. The past relationships are always important as they teach us valuable lessons. But the love of the pasts tend to showcase our mistakes or our ex partner’s relationships. Don’t expect your ex-partner to own up to their mistakes. They may not see it as mistakes, which means they are bound to make the same mistakes again. Then there are people who learn and try to rectify their mistakes, they make sure that things improve in the future. Forget the future, they must concentrate on the current situation, the current moments. Completely aware of the ‘now’.

Sometimes, we do things by chance, or we take a leap of faith. Sometimes, it is living the past is what creates confusion. I always say that if you have someone that is willing to love you, then accept it. Accept the love. Accept the pure moment of it. Not many people have the opportunity to receive love. Even love is a very complex topic, let us say that the movies, novels, poems give you a false aroma about love. It is nothing like, he will do everything for you, he makes you smile, he makes you dance in joy, he makes your heart beat faster. This is just silly things. Love is a complete circle. It is something that is received, you cannot feel complete by giving love. You need to know how to receive it first. Receiving love is the most difficult aspect to do. It is the acceptance. Everyone believes the other has ‘bad or wrong intentions’, in fact it is your intentions that will bring all the force together to create the ‘bad or wrong intentions’. We must be open to love. We should not say no to it. Love is just a stage, it is not the complete picture. It is half a picture. The other half of the picture is hate. Where there is love, there is hate. They have to exist. In fact, the person you think is your true love is possibly the one you will hate the most eventually. The whole point of that hatred is that you also gave that same amount of love too.

So how does one transcend the whole dimension of love and hate. Then we must go a notch higher. We must look at compassion. Not the compassion that the priests and Gandhi talked about. The compassion in terms of the complete passion. Compassion’s definition in my words is very simple. Compassion is the continuous conscious passion. This is the last stage of ‘love’. That is true love. This true love is only attained, if you love who you are. If you love the person that you are, the person that you are completely aware of. You are aware of the passion. Passion is strong. It is very sexual but very sensual too. It is very sensitive. If you have someone that can give you compassion, they will be the best partners ever. Even if it is short-lived. However, those compassionate people, they know that the energy of love is within them first. It is them who share that passion. It is not really sharing either. It is something that can be caught. You catch it. It attached itself unto you like a sweet fragrance. Compassion makes you live in the moment. It doesn’t remind you of the past nor the future. Just the present. The present is called the present for a reason, it is a gift. You will never get it again. You must know what it is like to receive a gift. Those moments where you unwrap those presents. That is what it feels like when you live with complete awareness. Loving each moment.

The past should be forgotten. Especially the psychological side of it. Remember the facts but forget the feelings attached to it. If you love someone just the same today, right now, in the present then it does not matter about yesterday. Yesterday was a different day. Today is a new day. A special day is today. Yesterday is something you cannot change, it doesn’t have to affect your present and it will not, if you live in it today. Forget the future too, who knows if it will come. I wouldn’t say go for the safe option right now, go for the one that looks the most difficult. Take the risks. Love today not tomorrow. Be compassionate now not later. If you live in today, with compassion, with no psychological memory and with complete awareness then you can forget the past within seconds. It will melt in front of your own eyes.

Enjoy your moments,

Rahul N Singh

Post 38 – I don’t need a girlfriend or wife (Part 2)

It looks like ‘Rahulism’ has already created some trouble. That is fine. There is no problem. At the end of the day, I am here to spread compassion, if my message is not understood, then it is my duty to reply back to the questions.

First of all, one must understand the way I write. Now, my writing may be simple, in fact it could be both politically incorrect and grammatically incorrect too. So you can already see the layers in which I write once I have written a single word. But never the less, as you read each word, each sentence, each paragraph and the whole piece of writing, there are layers upon layers.

My writing is simple because I want everyone to understand. I want everyone to see the message on many layers. Depending on your growth as a human being and your awareness is what will determine how you read it. My posts are written with three direct layers (and there are layers within those layers too). The first layer is that you read what I have written and take each word as it is. Second layer – I write everything knowing that people will read in between the lines. Third layer – I write everything knowing my awareness and knowing that other people may have the awareness I possess or maybe a even higher awareness. The third layer is not for everyone. You need to drop everything to understand it.

Now to the problem directly. Someone or some people, I do not know and I do not care. They had told my ex-girlfriend to read this. Then I received a text message from my ex-girlfriend and she was not pleased. Now, I would have seen the offense if I had written ‘She is a stupid bitch and I wish she was fucking dead!’ But I had not said that. So to me I didn’t understand what was the need to be upset and why those people unnecessarily tortured my poor ex-girlfriend’s time and tranquility of mind.

So now I have to dissect everything. The line itself begins with ‘Before with my last ex, I found the problem was with me.’ Now, this is the beginning of the statement. So clearly I am saying that I am the problem and not her. I have made that very clear on all layers. I had already focussed your minds to know that my ex is innocent and I was the problem.

Then it continues, ‘Yes, she left me because she didn’t have the same feelings but now looking at it, she was more honest than I was.’ I stated an honest truth, a truth that not many guys would happily admit. I said that she had left me because she did not possess the same feelings for me. She had lost those feelings for me. And I even then say that she was more honest than I was. That she had reached a higher level than I did. She was more aware than I was. She was honest to herself and to me. While, I was attached to my feelings to her and not attached to my feeling completely.

Then the post continues: ‘I was only attached to her because I began to love myself.’ So this line states that I was attached to her. Also, attachment is wrong when it comes to love. But I go on to say that, the very attachment to her, had created a love for myself. Now, what is wrong in this? In fact, this is showing how much love I had attained while being with her but my fault was my attachment. If I had detached attachment then it would have been different. But I relied on her body, her personality to love myself. Again, a very big thing for a guy to admit, and also it showed how I was wrong because of my reliance on her. But again, I am sure her friends and she did not see it that way. Let me make one thing clear, my ex-girlfriend and you know who you are directly, you had taught me to love to such an extreme that it went beyond the relationship we had. My problem was that I was still attached to the relationship bit. I had forgotten that it was my love that I was sharing with you, not giving but sharing with you. Also, I have always said and this was my revelation after me and my ex were over, that in order to give love to somebody, you must love yourself. It is important to love yourself. The biggest reason for the failure in relationships is that we keep loving the other and forgetting the self. That is what I had done with my ex and that was the problem. Again, I admit that I am at fault there.

Then it goes on: ‘I didn’t need her, I was falling out of love for her and she did me the biggest favour.’ Now this must have been the line that annoyed my ex completely. On many levels it must have hit her. She knows it and I know it. I said that I didn’t need her. What is wrong with this statement? If she chose to leave me, I had become aware that I didn’t need her to love or to live. I didn’t need her because she didn’t need me. If she had needed me, then she would have stayed with me. She would have talked to me about her feelings instead of dumping me straight away. But since she didn’t need my input or my feelings to be given a chance, I have simply stated that I didn’t need her. I didn’t need her body, her personality nor the attachment of the relationship. This supports all of what I have written before. I didn’t need her because I had love within myself. I had found eventually, after many months that I was in love with love not with her. Now, of course, saying this to your ex must hurt her. But that is because she doesn’t have the same awareness. She still does not love herself as I love myself. Then I say that I was falling out of love for her. Now, this is the line that really must have raised some eyebrows. Anyone that knew me during that time, they don’t know me now. I am not the same person. But the Rahul then, during the time I was madly in love with my ex, she knows that I loved her limitlessly. In fact, I would do anything for her. She meant not the world to me, but the universe to me. My ex had not appreciated it completely, if she did then she would have given me a chance to know her feelings. Forget understanding her feelings, I had to know of them first. But it was true, I was falling out of love for her directly and beginning to realise that I was loving myself and sharing that love with her. Then I say that she did me the biggest favour. Tell me, what guy says something as honest as that? That their ex, who left me via a text message on christmas day can turn around and say my ex did me the biggest favour? And in her text yesterday, she had called me an ‘egoist’ tell me where is my ego now? Tell me, if I am saying you did me the biggest favour then where is my ego? You simply never understood my message yesterday. I am literally thanking you. I’m saying that you are the reason that I love myself now, that I am content with myself now, that it was being with you that had made me achieve this feeling I have now. You are the reason behind this awareness I have now and you turn around and call me an egoist? In fact, I’m going to contradict my statement and say I needed you completely to make this transformation.

It is very hard to understand me. In fact, you cannot understand me until I say you understand me. I am too complex, too contradictory to be understood. When that post was on all layers – a massive praise to my ex, it had been taken on a completely different level. Yes, my writing is not complex but simple. It is a shame that there was not an understanding in simplicity.

Stay blessed with compassion

Rahul N Singh

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Post 37 – I don’t need a girlfriend or a wife.

Thinking deep, then becoming aware of your thoughts, watching them go by as if you are a visitor in your own mind, now you can imagine a little bit of what I have gone through today.

With each passing day of being single, I am becoming slowly accustomed to it, slowly being seduced in this land where only I exist. There is no space for another, and if there is a space, it is definitely very small, maybe the size of a needle.

I have never gone out in search for a girl, I let them come and go. Before with my last ex, I found the problem was with me. Yes, she left me because she didn’t have the same feelings but now looking at it, she was more honest than I was. I was only attached to her because I began to love myself. I didn’t need her, I was falling out of love for her and she did me the biggest favour. But it took me a long time to understand this, I know it took long because I spent months trying to get her back. In the midst of all that, I explored and allowed my sex drive to take me places. It was successful. I had no commitment. But how long can you live without commitment before finding out that you need that companion. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she will be your girlfriend or wife, but just a friend that is willing to talk to you. I say ‘she’ because I find women more open. They have been oppressed for so many years that I feel they understand what I ‘cage’ inside of me. Also, they are driven by emotions, they are aware of their emotions and I love that.

I remember not long ago asking a girl out and I don’t think it went as fruitful as I thought it would. Somehow, a date got cancelled and it was never really made again. Do I feel anger towards the girl? My question is why should I? The poor girl probably doesn’t know how I feel. She probably thinks I have forgotten like those other guys. She may have moved on to someone else. But I was never hers in the first place. Someone told me that I should question the girl but why should I? She has done nothing wrong and if she has gone with someone else then I am happy. I am content because in these past few days, I have fallen in deeper love with my own self. Not in an egoistic sense but a spiritual sense.

This is the problem of many guys out there. They feel that rejection is the end-all. I don’t believe it is. I don’t even think that poor girl I asked for a date has rejected me. In fact, me and her probably have more comfortability because I am understanding. Normal guys do not understand. For some reason, they feel that they have been betrayed. If someone is not yours then there is no betrayal. And no one can ever betray you anyway because no one will ever be yours. Betrayal is in the psychological mind. I will talk more on the psychological mind of betrayal on another date.

In fact, what I can say is that now there is comfortability within myself and own self. I feel that I don’t need to be in a relationship. The need of sex is necessary and obviously I am open to that. Why should I ignore or repress my sexual needs? But one does not need to be in a relationship for that. I just want to feel a connection that is all. It does not have to be sexual either. I just need a connection. I have a few friends, very few friends who I feel a connection with. With whom I show my true self to. And I am not a great person, I am full of flaws and contradictions! I can’t promise you that what I write tomorrow will support what I write today. It may be different. This is the beauty of being your own self.

My friend today asked if I am writing ‘Rahulism’. Of course. I am my own being, if you like me, then you follow ‘Rahulism’. But mark my words, what I write is not profound and it is nothing new. It has been shared many of times by other people. But those people were ignored, now it is my turn to make sure they are eventually heard.

Stay blessed with compassion,

Rahul N Singh

Post 36 – Wisdom

There are times when you have to wonder what the hell people are saying to you. Why do people have to indirectly say things to you. I reply to them straight away and a little bit of honesty is never bad. If people have a problem with your growth, with your honesty, with your awareness then it tends to be a lack of their understanding. They will never understand the silence you have within you. They will never understand the words you have. One of my issues has always been with the elder generation. They are so quick to say ‘you are too young’, ‘you are not experienced enough’, ‘you cannot be wise.’. Let’s look a little deeper into these sayings.

‘You are too young’ first of all, when did wisdom ever come with age? If that was the case then half of the philosophers are a waste of time, psychologists are a waste of time, musicians like Mozart are a waste of time. Mozart was a genius from the age of 5, now you can’t say he didn’t have the wisdom because he was 5 years old. His wisdom was so much at the age of 5. He was in the moment, he was living in the present, completely in tune with awareness and that is how his music was created. What beauty! But you can’t turn around and say how can a 5 year old create such music when you see a 70 year old still struggling to make one tune sound beautiful to the ears. The same is with knowledge, those that have doubts and question those doubts, learn much more quickly, they are on a faster pace. Everyone has doubts but religion is a drug, it simply makes sure those doubts never reach your consciousness. For there is fear. How can you question God? You will enter the fires of hell! Therefore, this fear that religion has given you, it has made sure your doubts never arise. Everyone has doubts, the difference is, the one with knowledge tends to be the one that questions his doubts.

Then you have ‘you are not experienced enough’. Experience means nothing to be honest. Many people are living but inside they are waiting for death to come, yet if death did come they would fear it immensely. Experience is something of the past. It has nothing to do with the present. The present is more important and whatever is done in the present, is the only worthy experience. The past is good to learn from but that is all it does, A past experience becomes something you learn from. That is at the maximum. But whoever is living in the present, then experience is merely just a word for society. In fact, society use this excuse of ‘experience’ to play down true merits. Why should anyone be able to live in the moment? This is dangerous. We are constantly reminded about the psychological effects of the past. It has nothing to do with us. By being so involved of the past, we lose our grip on the problems in the present. Therefore, the only experience should only be – today.

“You cannot be wise’. Again, this links the both but wise? What is wise? A wise person is only someone that lives in the present, who is happy in what is happening and is allowing that ‘happening’ to occur. One must accept that being wise can come at any age, even some of the religious heads have been as young as 10. Most of all, how can an unwise person say you cannot be wise? An unwise person can never appreciate someone to be wise because that wise person has made themselves an individual. That is not good at all. So the unwise will never see the true picture. They are already in doubt of everything, they place hope on top of that doubt and then put the concept of an afterlife to please them. They will never accept someone to be more wiser, more miser they can accept but never wiser.

Love to you and stay blessed

Rahul N Singh

Post 35 – You can be the living dead!

The moment you believe that life is about yourself. When you start realising that everything around you is a hindrance is when you have the awakening to live. The moment you think that others make an impact on your life that means either they are positive or negative. Only a few are alive, many are dead. Those who do not fear death are alive. The ones who fear death have already died. Their fear has consumed them and now they cannot live. They cannot feel the energy to be alive. Living to them is a curse. They find that problems are an obstacle. If you become aware of the problems, if you analyse them you will realise how they are not worthy to bring you down. It takes time and practice. But it surely can be done. It is a matter of sitting and looking at the problem directly.

Soon,  I will talk about love.

Lots of love and stay blessed,

Rahul N Singh


Post 34 – Is there a God?

Whilst in meditation today, I had submerged into a moment of pure silence. Now, this silence is not as normal as I thought it would be. This time, I felt like I had been hypnotised. Imagine not thinking at all. Imagine having no thoughts. In this particular state that lasted two minutes, I felt like I had been sitting hours in prayer. I had realised so much but it had made me question a lot.

For those who know me well, I read a lot on Osho. Funny enough, he was saying that there is not a God – well not the one you imagine up in the sky or say even is  a Single Being. On top of that, I had been writing my poetry for days and even then I felt that religion’s version of God cannot exist. But I have faith in spirituality. But I cannot believe there is a superior being somewhere that will decide my fate of paradise or eternal damnation.

In fact, I had been brought up with the concept that ‘Self-realisation is God-realisation’. Now I can say this statement is true. For it is yourself that you must realise and if you realise who you are (trust me the answer is so simple, I am sure many fools have ignored it) then that means you have realised God. Now, Osho questions how can you say you believe in God and then fight that God exists. When we see light, we don’t say – ‘Yes, I believe that is light.’ No! We say – that is light. End of. We know light exists. And if anyone tells you that they have seen God because they saw a bright light – they are lying to you. They have not even realised themselves, they have been told by religious texts that God-realisation occurs when you see a bright light. So therefore, in the anticipation they have only imagine that light. it is a fragment of their imagination. They have realised that they have imagination but they have failed to remain in nothingness – which is essential.

So this got me thinking even more that realistically, to know God, I got to know myself. And if it means that by realising myself means I have realised God then ultimately that means I am God. Before, people shout blasphemy, look at what I am writing logically and it will work. If you don’t agree then question me.

Therefore, the existence of a Separate One God – I simply cannot accept. I can believe that God is purely creative. It is a divine, creative Energy but I cannot accept anything else. I can accept it is formless but the form (what we see around us) –  cannot be an illusion. God is not a magician, God is a creator – an artist. In fact, the creation is a distraction to remove the nature of nothingness. God is a trickster and a joker. God definitely has a sense of humour. If we know nothingness exists then God definitely exists. But God is ever-expanding, it is infinite Energy that I am part of, that you are part of (but you are yet to realise that). I also realise that my Guru is right. In fact, he is God to me. He knows the reality. I can see the logic in his teachings. For humans to understand God, you have to tell them that God exists and then you come with the statement ‘Self-realisation is God-realisation’. That is the best statement that has ever existed. The fact remains that when we become the self – then we have become God. We have gone and experienced the nothingness. It is pure bliss. I cannot say that God does not exist but I don’t believe in the God that religion has created. I can see the God that is within us, within me and within you. The God that is pure creative energy. That creative energy has made everything out of love. So whatever God is, I know God is pure love. If I have realised who I am then I can give pure love. Otherwise, I will be continuously expecting love and falling out of favour with love. I will continue to believe in the stupid concept of give and take.

So the question has been answered so far. Does the religion’s God exist? No. Does the God of pure Energy exist that we have in each one of us, each one of us who is unique? Yes. We are all a constellation of One Soul. That is probably the best image I can give that we are all linked by One Soul. That One Soul is everywhere, it is always going to exist.

I still feel that my thoughts are not enough but this is enough for today. I don’t want to scare people too much.

Lots of love and God bless.

Rahul N Singh

Post 33 – Blank Canvas

People have a problem if you are against them. It is a little fact but doesn’t hold true all the time. Why do people dislike the fact that you are your own person? Why do people feel they need to impose their ‘superiority’ on you? First of all, they want to believe they are superior when really they are more at your feet than you actually think. yes, in the social aspect they may have a little more ‘respect’ but in the eyes of the true and honest people, they are nothing but hacks claiming a little bit of limelight.

I dare to think that if we all followed the norms of society then society will be at a standstill. In fact, society will never progress. I see the many fools who claim to change things but really their change is not inspiring. It’s adding more dumbed down crap into our minds. The hype that surrounds certain things yet never meets the expectations. That is what young or so-called game changer wannabes carry on claiming.

Yesterday, I watched Inception for nth time and I came to the final conclusion that the only reality is that Cobb meets his children. That is the only positive thing in his life. Once the guilt is removed of his wife’s suicide then all boundaries that restricted him are gone. In fact, Inception is far more spiritual than a lot of religious texts. Religious texts just like to tell you how it is done. Inception goes to the core. It shows how to deal with guilt. So my conclusion to the film is that whether his reality is still a dream, I would rather see Cobb happy with his children. In the space of the dream, he can fill it in with whatever he wants. The underlining action is that he is free from the crux of his subconscious.

This is what we as human beings need to do. We need to have a blank canvas and put every bit of ourselves in it and make it our universe. It is simple as that. The fact is we have no limitations but it is our society, our religions, our education that teaches us to be confined and ‘good’ human beings. I may say good but ‘human beings’ I really do doubt. Say robotic machines then you will have my approval.

In conclusion, you are the writer, the painter, the director and the maker of your life. So use it!

Lots of love and God bless.

Rahul N Singh


Want to buy Rahul N Singh’s poetry book on Amazon…find out how on: Post 32 – Download