It is a little weird for a 23 year old to sit up all night and wonder how will I be remembered? Will people even remember me? However, a little film yesterday ‘It’s Kind Of a Funny Story’ got me thinking on another level. I don’t care about being remembered, I want to live every moment and this sweet little film made me appreciate my life on another level.
I remember the months when I was depressed, when I felt down and how anti-depressants didn’t really help. A friend forced me to stop taking the pills and live my life with a new insight. Although, I didn’t live life with a new insight, I lived in terms of I am going to battle this depression by my self. I am going to do things that make me happy. But happiness is something that can come and go. It was from those days, I became a searcher for my spirituality. Off the anti-depressants to reading scriptures and books on spirituality.
When I look back at why I was depressed, well it seems stupid now. It was all over a girl that became the girl I can never get. Damn, you girls for making my life miserable. But then I thought to myself, I am crying over one girl but there are like billions of girls out there, who are better and more worthy of my love. Then I read ‘Being In Love’ by Osho and that became my life-changing moment. I decided to stop looking for relationships and just live my singledom with absolute freedom. But those depressing days still linger on because I think about it whenever I remember my ex, it could be a movie that has a love story and I will think of my last relationship. It is a shame that I don’t think of the sex I got after my last relationship because I did love those moments of pleasure. Now I am at a stage when I can say I love a girl to the extreme but because she doesn’t accept it, I share that love with other girls. Sounds better right? I mean, it doesn’t mean you stop loving someone because they don’t love you or they are repressing their love for you. You can love them but share that love with others. Then if I find the ‘right’ girl for me, I can transfer all that love I had for my ex to that other special girl.
My message is really to the single people because I know it can be lonely but why feel lonely? I say feel alone and enjoy it. Life is only one chance where we can feel these emotions of ‘love’ and ‘heart-break’ and just live each one of those to the maximum. We just got to live, breath and enjoy every single moment, become a witness in each moment and smile. A smile always makes you look crazy but hey, if it makes you feel better then there is a reason. So people who don’t smile then there is something crazy about them. Stupid weirdos!
Anyway, life is precious and just live it. Who knows how long or short our journey is going to be but I no longer want my existence to just be in this life. So let the births of the many books to come, enter existence and forever be part of the legacy I leave behind. I want to give something to others. I have taken enough in life now, I need to give now!
So watch ‘It’s Kind Of a Funny Story’ because you know what It’s Kind of a Funny Life that we can live! 😉
Lots of love to you all!
Rahul N Singh
Question: Have you ever had your heart broken?
Answer: Yes, and who hasn’t? I think being heart-broken is one of the most painful but enlightening experiences. It shows the nuances in love. It shows how when something breaks, it can totally destroy your life, your world and even your whole existence. Love is very fragile. This is what people must consider when they break-up with their partners. I think it is cowardly to break a relationship that is not a mutual decision. So yes, if I ever hear that a relationship broke up because the boyfriend was scared of commitment or didn’t share the same feelings, I think he deserves a slap. Same with a girl. A break-up has to be mutual. The fact remains that most relationships can be worked out if there is a little bit of extra communication.
I remember a friend, his girlfriend had broken up with him. This was around a year ago. He was a decent guy, good-looking and to be honest, one of a kind. His girlfriend, she was pretty, I thought she had an amazing personality but the way she broke up with him made me think twice. I thought it may have been a genuine mistake but then you shouldn’t cover up a mistake right? So basically, he came to me and he looked rather disturbed. He told me faintly, ‘My ex says she never loved me’. I couldn’t bear to see those sad eyes of his. So I replied ‘Tell her that you only had lust for her!’ This shocked him completely but I assured him that it would be the right thing. So he went off and he told her this in his own space and he came back. With a smile but a hint of confusion. He says ‘She questioned me. She said Lust?! Yeah, whatever makes you happy.’ This answer satisfied me, and I told him that she still loved him. The fact remains, she made a mistake in leaving you, but she can’t admit it. She needs to say she doesn’t love you because it gives justification for her actions. He wanted to go back to her and give it another try. However, I convinced him not to and that he deserved better.
I tried this recently and it worked the same for me. The thing is, I am not saying it is just girls. Guys are just the same. In fact, I think it is more of a masculine thing to do. However, the problem with the ex-girlfriend of his was that she had to repress that love, she had to deny it, inside she loves him and it will grow stronger and when she realises it, then it will be too late. It is like a diabetic saying that he doesn’t love sugar. He has to say it because he knows that if he says he loves it, then he will eat sugary foods and it will affect his health. However, the more he represses it, he will want to indulge once in a while. The same is with love. Both are sweet as you can see. My advise to his ex-girlfriend was to let go of her ego and grow up. She was immature in saying she didn’t love him and I am not fond of people like that. How can you say that when you have been intimate with them for months or years? They both will say ‘I love you’ when they were together, where did the love go now? Why deny the love now? And who the hell is (s)he to waste your feelings and your time on something so worthless? It is such a cowardly and stupid thing to do. Declare that you never loved. In my opinion, anyone that can do that has never tasted love in themselves, they have never felt love in themselves, they have never heard the music of love. I have said that love is reflection. It really is. If you love yourself then you will see love in everything. So I could safely assume that if his ex-girlfriend didn’t love him, she didn’t love herself. He may have loved her but it was a shame that she was not reflective. And if she couldn’t reflect love in the beginning, she can never reflect it ever. Now did she have to go back to him to feel the love again? She did go back because she knew she had repressed it deep inside of her, therefore clouding her judgment of love. Also, this way, she can never doubt again if she still loves him or whether that love will appear again. She may have felt love with another but it is false. If you can never recognise it the first time, it is hard to recognise it again. However, thanks to movies, novels and poets, people can pretend to know what love is like. But it is fake, it is not authentic nor real.
I am a poet because I am heartbroken. You can never mend a broken heart. A poet always keeps a broken heart and the reason why he writes poems is so that he can get in touch with the whole idea of love. I know that I struggle with describing love, it is beyond words. We can only give a taste of it, an echo, a touch but can never give the totality of love. Although, I do think when you get in touch with the totality of love, then you don’t need the heart, or the mind or even your soul. It is within you, it is you. Therefore, the broken heart always exists, it can never be mended. We can console and say that you can find another woman and find love again, that she will mend your heart but we are lying. You can only love once and then you share that love with multiples of people. To understand this love is very enlightening. You have to be aware of yourself. Poets have no God, their God is this existence of creative energy. They call it God so the common man can understand and can relate to it. I need my broken heart because it created the poet. I only used to write poetry for my ex-girlfriend and now I write it for everyone. I am proof that a poet moves from the individual and becomes the whole.
Rahul N Singh
Spread those wings and stare into the horizon, looking as deep as you can.
Start wondering the mystery behind each beauty that is not blessed with a definition.
Why can’t we look at ourselves and see the same beauty that contains hidden depths?
What happened to the spirit that carries our intuition created by our intellect?
I walk down the dusty road and watch the most beautiful girls bathe in the Sun,
How can I describe two beauties at once? How can I compare? It’s indescribable.
If this is the beauty I see with my eyes then think about the vast existence,
How can I even comprehend a single word that does even a little justice to it?
I cannot be as expansive as existence but I surely can become a part of it,
People will fight to be above it but they cannot see their freedom within it.
To prove their ignorance they will trouble the one’s with the Truth.
Losing all and gaining none while all drown into this existence.
Each breath soothes me into emptiness beyond my human senses,
It brings to life the senses of consciousness that has always existed.
Forgiveness is the key to open all the possibilities that used to be impossibilities.
Enjoy the journey that was never created and can never be destroyed.
Rahul N Singh
Today is the ‘death’ anniversary of Osho, popularly known as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh too.
What is amazing about this man is his spiritual incorrectness that has lived on despite the death of his body.
Osho talked about a lot of concepts, thousands of books are written in his name and he continues to have a massive hold on spirituality and philosophy. Although it is debatable whether his Foundation is doing justice to his legacy, it certainly shows that the mass media have ignored the greatest saint out of India on his death anniversary.
In my opinion, Osho is enlightened. He brought a new dimension into spirituality that shocked the world. From sex to superconsciousness – I remember reading one of his books on the train in London and a guy in his 50s come up to me and say are you fond of the ‘sex guru’. The label that really annoyed me at the time but I could understand him, to the guy he was right, he would be a ‘sex guru’ because who else talks openly about sex and still be an enlightened master.
Osho turned sex into a household ornament. He saw nothing unusual about it and went against all the establishments because he knew the repression of sex is the root of all evils. It has affected our common sense and if it affects our common sense then it surely means we can never make a truly rational decision.
Osho was against Gandhi and Mother Teresa, who on the face seem like nice people to gain inspiration from but Osho saw the flaws. I mean who would think that Mother Teresa, who was against abortion, be turned into a monster? Nobody saw the common sense but Osho did. Mother Teresa would be against abortion because that is where her bread and butter came from. She wanted orphans. If she really loved them and cared for them, then she would have been for contraception. Acts may be noble but your thoughts are your reflection. Mother Teresa’s thoughts were definitely questionable. All you need to do is type in ‘Osho on Gandhi’ and you will see the amount of constructive criticism Osho had given the man, who looked on the front very simple.
However, Osho to me is someone that brought common sense into understanding the meaning of life. The meaning is…you search for it yourself. It is within you and this is commendable. It wasn’t like ‘I have the answers, you can’t go anywhere else!’ He was someone that allowed people to follow and then unfollow. It made no difference to him.
If anything that needs to be learned from Osho then it is to be your self. Get to know your self and be proud of whom you are. Be in love with yourself. Be aware of your self and ultimately you will live the ultimate life. I know for a fact, Osho has all the answers, it depends on whether you are ready for the answers.
Long live the memory of one of the greatest masters that the world has seen!
Rahul N Singh
The Divine Light is shining around me. Where is its source?
From all four corners, how can I praise this fulfillment?
This Light of Divinity is the reason for the darkness. Darkness is the Light.
Only the blind see it as empty but it’s treasures need the eyes of the Soul.
I asked Saints about your identity; they made you so beautiful that my eyes had become blind.
Then you silenced those Saints and my mind, only then did I realise the true beauty.
There is nothing more than you; and there is nothing less than you.
Nothing has to remain as nothing; within your nothing you’ve become everything.
If this Energy remains silent under it’s own bliss. How can it explain its secret unto you?
Don’t be fooled by the perfect story-masters. The secret has neither words nor sound; only the echo can be felt.
These no words have made me your lover. I entered into ‘I’ and you into ‘you’.
One with one remains as one not two. Your identity is beyond calculations is our eternity.
Release me from this chain called the body. Let me connect to the everlasting energy.
Don’t cause my soul to obsess over it. It is dancing for your mergence.
Rahul N Singh
“Apparently I am the sinner. I am the person that is wrong. I am the one that should be blamed. What do I do next?”
This is the question and the statements of what I call the ‘New Guy’! The ‘New Guy’ is the one that every girl talks about and wants. But hey, he is not going to be the girl’s so easily. Why should he? He needs to make sure his energy is worth being spent on a girl. The fact is this guy has had his heart, mind and body burnt thanks to the super bad ex! The ex that will remain ‘the one that broke me’ or as some guys say ‘the whore’! The latter is not a term I like to use but I can see the emotion behind it.
The emergence of the ‘New Guy’ had to happen. There are too many typical guys and unfortunately girls, no matter what, if you go after a typical guy, then your taste is very typical. So the ‘New Guy’ sees this and thinks to himself, why should I bother going after girls? Let them come to me. His ex will be a pain in the ass. If he says he will never talk again, she will somehow put him down and prove to him that in the past, he cannot resist but talk to her. In a way she wins, but when he stops talking then she will realise the effects. You see the ‘New Guy’ may think his ex is a complete bitch, a stuck-up cow who has no dignity whatsoever but the ‘New Guy’ somehow will make sure she has a positive life. His negativity towards her will have an underlying positivity that she remains safe and well out of harm. In fact the ‘New Guy’ is not nice and is not typical, he is in between. He can make a girl feel like a Queen or like a woman on the streets.
So this ‘New Guy’ I have not called it a ‘nice guy’ because they do not exist. These ‘nice guys’ are fake and they have underlying negativity over a girl, in fact they are so cheap that in their ‘nice’ ways they will control the girl. No one will see it but he is a cunning dog controlling his bitch. The ‘New Guy’ will show he can be typical if needs be but he can be nice when needs be. He doesn’t have to be typical unless the girl deserves to be shown what she is worth.
Now, with the emergence of the ‘New Guy’ has made sure that his ex will hate him for life. None of his exes will want to be near him because they know he has no fear to express what he feels. He is open in saying ‘I am playing mind games’ but you see the ‘nice guy’ will play mind games in her personal life. He will control her life. The ‘New Guy’ will say openly how much he hates his ex but will happily romance her at the same time. A bit like the character ‘Dr House’ from House M.D! An acid tongue but an honest heart.
With the ‘New Guy’ the ‘New Girl’ has emerged. She doesn’t mind staying single, she is no longer dependent on the male. In fact, she is exactly like the ‘New Guy’ but just the opposite gender. Romantic but with a sense of reality. A sense of expression with no repression. It is risky to express reality but they can do it. Now all that needs to be done is for the ‘New Guy’ and ‘New Girl’ to meet and prove to the ‘nice’ and ‘typical’ guys and girls, that we are the whole package, we are multi-dimensional not one-dimensional like you fools!
Rahul N Singh
Your silence is never understood,
Your emptiness not comprehended,
Your beauty not appreciated,
Let all be completely destroyed.
You created such beautiful sounds,
Like the breeze carrying leaves,
The waves crashing onto the shore,
And the sweet song of that woman.
In your complete awareness,
I am flowing to your ways.
Love is filling the atmosphere,
Your fragrance beautifying my soul.
My body will enter the soil again,
But keep me alive in Your nature,
Please take me to the unknown,
That not many have known.
Rahul N Singh