Post 44 – A leader must define ‘Trust’

Question: I am a self-employed businessman. My staff are losing hope in the way I lead, what can I do to regain their trust?

Answer: First of all, you need to accept that you never had their trust. I don’t know any employer that trusts their boss. Why should they? The security of their future is in your hands. If you do something wrong, if you close the business or you have a change of heart towards them. You can see the insecurity? In the first moment you met them, they have already established that they cannot trust you. You need to accept that nobody trusts you. Even your secretary. She will be gracious and kind with you. You may have moments when you flirt. You may even end up having a sexual affair with her. Then tomorrow you know she can blackmail you, so what do you have to do? You have to fire her. If you don’t, you could lose your wife, your children and even half of everything you own. Therefore, your leadership is flawed.

The main issue is trust. You need to lose all of their hope, in order for them to trust you. If they have hope, then they will not trust. You need to transform the hope into trust. You are not a politician and you have to show that you are above all office politics. To get the leadership right, be there for your employees. Go out for lunch together. Go for drinks at the pub. Give the image of a normal person. This is what religion has done to God. God is on a pedestal and then your religious scholars eventually make God exactly like one of us. He punishes, he judges, he created evil and the list goes on. You need to get rid of this ‘dictator’ image that is given to you subconsciously by all your employees. Remember, every leader they have known, their headmasters, their parents, their priests, their gurus, and the results have not been pleasing. God is the best dictator – the hypocritical leader of all. At the end of the day, you are considered as a ‘God’ but a terrible version of him. God has some good qualities but you have none. You are human.

How to gain trust is your main interest and this can be done by just getting to know them personally. Show them that you are human and not some super-human. If you act like you are at the top, it will only take a fool to bring you back down. You need to remove their hope completely. Sit down in a meeting and address the issues. Make an event of some sort like bowling, cinema or karaoke once a week. Be open, have a sense of humour and leave office work in the office. Become more human and less of a god.

You don’t need to be loved as a boss, being trusted is a better result. You will enjoy being trusted. Your employees will enjoy their time with you and you may find that they are working a lot harder. There are many of times when employees feel as if their bosses just see them as robots. In fact, some companies are like that. You have a manager, who imposes conditions on their employees even during their break. If anyone is doing that then they simply can fire you without a second thought. Think if you were in your employees shoes and then make every decision regarding them. Think of their benefit in the worst case scenarios. Otherwise, even though he is absolute idiot, I would still prefer David Brent as a boss any day!

Gain their trust by destroying their hope.

Stay blessed

Rahul N Singh

2 thoughts on “Post 44 – A leader must define ‘Trust’

  1. Quoting from your post – “Even your secretary. She will be gracious and kind with you. You may have moments when you flirt. You may even end up having a sexual affair with her. Then tomorrow you know she can blackmail you, so what do you ha…ve to do? You have to fire her. If you don’t, you could lose your wife, your children and even half of everything you own. Therefore, your leadership is flawed.”
    —- such a lousy stereotype I would say. (By the way, not all secretaries are bitches. Sorry for this word) Not all leaders or bosses are such like you depicted. Bosses have got their pressures too and they “never fire people without a second thought..” Not as stupid as you think them to be else they wouldn’t be bosses or leaders. They know about Laws governing contracts and employment/termination.
    Your article contains nothing contructive and reflects a negative aspect on bosses. You are just stuck to stereotypes about bosses “considering people as robots”.

    Most people would blame the people in your scenario for not being able to raise voice against such bosses. I did it in a constructive way and today I’m respected in my workplace.
    Yes, you need to gain trust of your people – not by bribing them with karaoke, bowling or cinema – just by being able to channel positivities by letting them know that they are the driving force of a company. If every manager, bosses, leaders jump in their employees’ shoes and feel pity for them, then the business is bound to its doom.

    Ethics at work are there to be followed – by the boss and the employee.

    Employees – work hard, prove yourselves, raise voice in case of unfairness. You are all protected by the Law.

    Managers/Bosses/Leaders – initiate your employees by giving them opportunities and let them fly !! Tackle delicate situations diplomatically and resolve problems by giving reasons and feedbacks – negative and positive. Make your employees not your slaves but your friends – not to close though. Show appreciation of their hardwork and be a good listener.

    That’s how you build trust. That’s how you trust your boss.

    • As you can see from the question..it was directed at that person. Plus, its a lousy but very true stereotype..it happens and it shouldnt be ignored. but it was more of a tongue in cheek reply…which was done in humour and very sarcastic manner. i didnt say all leaders were like the way I had depicted. Some bosses do fire without a second thought to look at the ‘logical’ way. It happens and you think a multi-millionaire dollar boss gives a shit about some guy working in the office downstairs? And contracts are written carefully, the boss always remains in control. I am not stuck on the negative aspect of bosses, i am even stating how employee should drop ‘hope’ and only ‘trust’. so myself being stuck on stereotypes is a useless argument.

      Not everyone does raise a voice and if they do…just remember who has hired you. He/she may not fire you straight away but they have their ways. hence, they are in the position they are in. The aim of the article was to show the motivation outside of work and showing how the ‘outside’ the workplace should be more comfortable and this could increase their productivity or motivation. it is not bribery, it is called ‘creating and maintaining relationships’ I could have gone into theories but I didn’t want to.

      Not necessarily would a boss or leader feel any pity, the article doesn’t talk about pity but just raises an awareness to look at the other side. Can things be worked out differently which could further benefit the company.

      Your ‘raise voice in case of unfairness’ who the hell is the boss, you or the employer? The boss can easily tell you to get the hell out and never return. Law may protect to an extent but like I said contracts are written to always benefit the company and the bosses. The boss is never going to see you do a favour for the company, he is going to see it as the company is doing a favour to you for hiring you!

      I agree with your last large paragraph but at the end of the day, like you said dont make your employees salves but friends and this is what the article had suggested. I was looking at the base of it all, and the foundation needs to be strong. The guy was worried about trust and I told him this is a way. The whole socialising aspect is to break down any barriers that may not be done in the working environment. It is always an ‘outside’ experience that ignites commonalities and even suggestions on how to improve the working environment.

      Anyway, like I said that question was raised by someone via a private message for a reply on the blog. It was directed at that person in particular. A lot of it is tongue in cheek but enough to make it serious too. It talked about don’t be a dictator because I know ego always steps in. It was getting to the basic level. if you can’t understand the basics, how are you going to advance to the second level?

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