Question: Have you ever had your heart broken?
Answer: Yes, and who hasn’t? I think being heart-broken is one of the most painful but enlightening experiences. It shows the nuances in love. It shows how when something breaks, it can totally destroy your life, your world and even your whole existence. Love is very fragile. This is what people must consider when they break-up with their partners. I think it is cowardly to break a relationship that is not a mutual decision. So yes, if I ever hear that a relationship broke up because the boyfriend was scared of commitment or didn’t share the same feelings, I think he deserves a slap. Same with a girl. A break-up has to be mutual. The fact remains that most relationships can be worked out if there is a little bit of extra communication.
I remember a friend, his girlfriend had broken up with him. This was around a year ago. He was a decent guy, good-looking and to be honest, one of a kind. His girlfriend, she was pretty, I thought she had an amazing personality but the way she broke up with him made me think twice. I thought it may have been a genuine mistake but then you shouldn’t cover up a mistake right? So basically, he came to me and he looked rather disturbed. He told me faintly, ‘My ex says she never loved me’. I couldn’t bear to see those sad eyes of his. So I replied ‘Tell her that you only had lust for her!’ This shocked him completely but I assured him that it would be the right thing. So he went off and he told her this in his own space and he came back. With a smile but a hint of confusion. He says ‘She questioned me. She said Lust?! Yeah, whatever makes you happy.’ This answer satisfied me, and I told him that she still loved him. The fact remains, she made a mistake in leaving you, but she can’t admit it. She needs to say she doesn’t love you because it gives justification for her actions. He wanted to go back to her and give it another try. However, I convinced him not to and that he deserved better.
I tried this recently and it worked the same for me. The thing is, I am not saying it is just girls. Guys are just the same. In fact, I think it is more of a masculine thing to do. However, the problem with the ex-girlfriend of his was that she had to repress that love, she had to deny it, inside she loves him and it will grow stronger and when she realises it, then it will be too late. It is like a diabetic saying that he doesn’t love sugar. He has to say it because he knows that if he says he loves it, then he will eat sugary foods and it will affect his health. However, the more he represses it, he will want to indulge once in a while. The same is with love. Both are sweet as you can see. My advise to his ex-girlfriend was to let go of her ego and grow up. She was immature in saying she didn’t love him and I am not fond of people like that. How can you say that when you have been intimate with them for months or years? They both will say ‘I love you’ when they were together, where did the love go now? Why deny the love now? And who the hell is (s)he to waste your feelings and your time on something so worthless? It is such a cowardly and stupid thing to do. Declare that you never loved. In my opinion, anyone that can do that has never tasted love in themselves, they have never felt love in themselves, they have never heard the music of love. I have said that love is reflection. It really is. If you love yourself then you will see love in everything. So I could safely assume that if his ex-girlfriend didn’t love him, she didn’t love herself. He may have loved her but it was a shame that she was not reflective. And if she couldn’t reflect love in the beginning, she can never reflect it ever. Now did she have to go back to him to feel the love again? She did go back because she knew she had repressed it deep inside of her, therefore clouding her judgment of love. Also, this way, she can never doubt again if she still loves him or whether that love will appear again. She may have felt love with another but it is false. If you can never recognise it the first time, it is hard to recognise it again. However, thanks to movies, novels and poets, people can pretend to know what love is like. But it is fake, it is not authentic nor real.
I am a poet because I am heartbroken. You can never mend a broken heart. A poet always keeps a broken heart and the reason why he writes poems is so that he can get in touch with the whole idea of love. I know that I struggle with describing love, it is beyond words. We can only give a taste of it, an echo, a touch but can never give the totality of love. Although, I do think when you get in touch with the totality of love, then you don’t need the heart, or the mind or even your soul. It is within you, it is you. Therefore, the broken heart always exists, it can never be mended. We can console and say that you can find another woman and find love again, that she will mend your heart but we are lying. You can only love once and then you share that love with multiples of people. To understand this love is very enlightening. You have to be aware of yourself. Poets have no God, their God is this existence of creative energy. They call it God so the common man can understand and can relate to it. I need my broken heart because it created the poet. I only used to write poetry for my ex-girlfriend and now I write it for everyone. I am proof that a poet moves from the individual and becomes the whole.
Rahul N Singh