Post 52 – Anti-depressants and Love!

It is a little weird for a 23 year old to sit up all night and wonder how will I be remembered? Will people even remember me? However, a little film yesterday ‘It’s Kind Of a Funny Story’ got me thinking on another level. I don’t care about being remembered, I want to live every moment and this sweet little film made me appreciate my life on another level.

I remember the months when I was depressed, when I felt down and how anti-depressants didn’t really help. A friend forced me to stop taking the pills and live my life with a new insight. Although, I didn’t live life with a new insight, I lived in terms of I am going to battle this depression by my self. I am going to do things that make me happy. But happiness is something that can come and go. It was from those days, I became a searcher for my spirituality. Off the anti-depressants to reading scriptures and books on spirituality.

When I look back at why I was depressed, well it seems stupid now. It was all over a girl that became the girl I can never get. Damn, you girls for making my life miserable. But then I thought to myself, I am crying over one girl but there are like billions of girls out there, who are better and more worthy of my love. Then I read ‘Being In Love’ by Osho and that became my life-changing moment. I decided to stop looking for relationships and just live my singledom with absolute freedom. But those depressing days still linger on because I think about it whenever I remember my ex, it could be a movie that has a love story and I will think of my last relationship. It is a shame that I don’t think of the sex I got after my last relationship because I did love those moments of pleasure. Now I am at a stage when I can say I love a girl to the extreme but because she doesn’t accept it, I share that love with other girls. Sounds better right? I mean, it doesn’t mean you stop loving someone because they don’t love you or they are repressing their love for you. You can love them but share that love with others. Then if I find the ‘right’ girl for me, I can transfer all that love I had for my ex to that other special girl.

My message is really to the single people because I know it can be lonely but why feel lonely? I say feel alone and enjoy it. Life is only one chance where we can feel these emotions of ‘love’ and ‘heart-break’ and just live each one of those to the maximum. We just got to live, breath and enjoy every single moment, become a witness in each moment and smile. A smile always makes you look crazy but hey, if it makes you feel better then there is a reason. So people who don’t smile then there is something crazy about them. Stupid weirdos!

Anyway, life is precious and just live it. Who knows how long or short our journey is going to be but I no longer want my existence to just be in this life. So let the births of the many books to come, enter existence and forever be part of the legacy I leave behind. I want to give something to others. I have taken enough in life now, I need to give now!

So watch ‘It’s Kind Of a Funny Story’ because you know what It’s Kind of a Funny Life that we can live! 😉

Lots of love to you all!

Rahul N Singh


2 thoughts on “Post 52 – Anti-depressants and Love!

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