Rohan, a 27 year old guy, who is married with two kids and his wife is beautiful. Rohan has quite a few problems that he wishes he could solve. However, things have hit rock bottom. He has lost his job, lost his savings on a trip to Las Vegas last year and now he is scared about how to bring the next dinner on the table. He picks up the courage and goes to see his best friend, Naina. He tells her the situation and she gives him £500.
After a couple of months, Naina bumps into Rohan, who is waiting for her outside her office. He apologises for ignoring her and he is really upset about his behaviour. He explains to Naina how he spent the money on drugs, prostitutes, alcohol and gambling. He tells her that he is scared about the future. Naina patiently listens and asks Rohan what he wants now. Rohan asks her for more money. Naina carefully listens and considers it. After all, it is her money that she has lost to this man.
She replies: ‘I can give you the money but this time I will buy the groceries and anything you need.’
Now what is the message behind this story. Rohan has betrayed Naina’s trust, he has hurt her but she doesn’t look hurt, she just listens to him. Her forgiveness is unique. She still gives him the money again and is that her ignorance or stupidity? However, she has a good heart. She forgives him in the true sense. She feels no pain, she feels no hurt but she remembers that he has betrayed her before. Therefore, she thinks of a solution where she can give him the money but now gets the items herself. You could say she was a push-over but she didn’t have to help him. Even if she didn’t help him, she still maintained her friendship. If he made a mistake and she lets go of the friendship, then that is another mistake. But this time, the mistake is her fault.
This is what forgiveness is: You remember the facts but you forget the emotions and psychological aspect of what was done to you. This way, you can keep moving forward in life.
Maintaining grudges keeps the door of enlightenment closed. If you want to open the doors of enlightenment, the doors to the Formless then you need to know how to forgive. If you can’t forgive then going to your place of worship is useless, praying or meditating is useless, or doing charitable acts are useless. Learn the art of forgiveness. Remember what they did wrong but don’t remember how it made you feel. That is forgiveness.
Rahul N Singh