Answer: Escaping life is for the one’s that are weak. Enlightenment, Moksha cannot be attained if you like to escape from life. You have to accept it and be passive. I feel there is a sense of too much responsibility and the fact that your growth will not be appreciated by those that are close to you. The responsibility you have is to accept everything that is given to you, you are bounded and have no choice but to allow it. If they question you then you must answer to them. They are misguided but you do not want to follow them. You need to set your self free my friend. You have been walking against the wind for far too long. You have seen that nothing has been achieved. You feel your rebellious attitude is bursting and you have no other choice but to rebel. However, your rebellion is causing a disturbance for others. Their disturbance within has not been realised from within but you are not the catalyst to create that event yet. Your time is to be when you move away, when you become independent. Cope with the storm my friend. Don’t worry about it. You need to sit still and allow everything to flow past you. Watch the waves but remember to be still as the ocean underneath the waves.
I know you are feeling limited and that no matter what you achieve for them is useless. The problem is that they have no use to what you have found or will find. They are not interested because they are unconsciously against your growth. Why would anyone want to see someone younger than them achieve so much? You must look at it. How can a mother accept her son or daughter to be enlightened? They have probably gone through so much penance and austerity and have achieved nothing but negativity. How can a fellow brother or sister see your growth as a human being? The hierarchal system within them cannot let this be. How can a father wish to even see a more poignant and tranquil spiritual growth of his child? It is not possible unless they have had a glimpse of the Divine. They have been after the Divine but they search and miss the Divine because they keep running past the Divine. That is their issue. Your issue is that you are still but yet the Divine is hiding. The Divine is hiding within your own heart. You have searched for the Divine with your mind and now you must look in your heart. Your heart is empty and let it remain untouched. An empty heart is needed for the divine to fill in with its intoxicating spirit. Meditate on emptiness because that is what you are. A free person. A free individual has no weight on their shoulders. Once you are burdened then there is no way to be free. Meditate on empty space and you will see that emptiness is actually fullness.
You need to face the responsibilities but when you can leave then leave. You are not bounded by anybody but your self and your situation. I know it is hard because you feel burdened by their favour but don’t worry about it. Let that be but when you are ready to go then go. Let it be natural. If you feel that the worldly responsibilities are too much then you need to look at whether you need to become a recluse or as they spiritually say that you take ‘sannyas’. However, my advise is that you face your responsibilities but show that you can move away any time. You do not need to threat. Stay silent. Speak when spoken to. Eventually, they will not notice that you are a burden and they will in fact ignore you. But are you ready for that is the question? Just enjoy life, enjoy its difficulties and suddenly they will run out of ways to give you difficulties. Remember, don’t judge the people. Just judge their acts. If you don’t like their acts then make sure you don’t commit the same acts. Be rebellious but have your own way of doing it. Don’t be limited even by my words.
Love and blessings,
Rahul N Singh