Self-harm is the youngsters way of saying ‘how long can you keep blaming us?’

The fact is simple here, as a british charity reveals that self harm in wales has risen amongst youngsters. It is not just the youngsters in Wales but all over the world that is infatuated by the materialistic system. We have to look at this in a logic way. As the elders and even myself may say that youngsters need to realise they have it ‘easy’ and that they should appreciate life more. However, how can they enjoy life? You repress them! You cannot do this, you cannot do that. In certain cultures then you are not allowed to date another. You are not allowed to love another person. You are not allowed to have sex. You are not allowed to talk to this friend because they are bad company. You are not allowed to speak to these family members because they are the outcasts. Imagine how much a youngster may have to go through. Not only just that but the increasing amount of exams and assessments at schools. The increasing debt of going to university. The limited amount of jobs that they can apply for. I am sure now that you get the picture why they are resorting to ‘self-harm’. The adults, parents or guardians are not looking after their children and certainly not giving them loving homes where they are allowed freedom. They must follow everything that the family does. When the child rebels, sooner or later, they are bound to be kicked out.

Why the moan? They have the internet, an increasing amount of support from on-line buddies. They have mobile phones at their peril. They have the gadgets and the lot to support themselves. They have all the material comforts but why do they get upset. Is it the romantic aspect of love. I think so. Movies, books, poems, songs have all romanticized about love. The fact is that most of the people that talk about love tend to have this ‘happy forever after’ aspect but the reality is something else. Even though that we know the reality is different but our mind is fixated on not allowing that to prosper. We want the fairytale life and subconsciously it will always play on our minds. It is like I have said that forget about loving others if you cannot love yourself. The love is within you. However, we look for it in some external source. Whether it is a man or a woman, a guru or God. We all look for an external source to give us love. You cannot be given love. You can only feel love. To feel love is to know the love within you. You have to ask your self ‘Who do I love?’ You may mention your partner’s name but eventually your ego, for the right reasons will say that you love yourself. The thing is that it is your heart that gives the love. Nobody else gives you the love. No one can say that because I love you then you must love me. It has to be a common feeling. It has to be a united feeling. Whatever is united is one. Therefore, first look at yourself. Do you love yourself? If you do, then ask your partner if they love themselves. If they say yes, then you know you are united in love. If not, then instead of scolding them or doubting them. Ask them why? Comfort them. Everyone wants to be comforted.

It is this very sense of wanting comfort that brings us to two roads. Either we self-harm because nothing in life is satisfying us. This could be on a spiritual as well as a materialistic sense. Or we find the comfort within ourselves. Now, the fear in finding the comfort within us is a simple fear. It is a fear of thinking that it will not be there. If your mind is giving you turmoil then it can give you peace to. It can allow you to go through the turmoil. It will give you the strength. The problem is that we are taught to accept defeat. We should never accept defeat as the final call. Accept it but learn how to learn from it. You need to know how to make sure that you don’t make the same mistake twice. Even if you do the mistake thousands of times then it does not matter. The fact is that you move on. Don’t beat yourself about it. It has happened but by beating yourself about it is only another mistake.

They also feel that to overcome the emotional and psychological pain, they must use physical pain to make sure their mind is diverted. All it is is a mind diversion. Diverting the mind is only for a short while but like all diversions you have to go back onto the main road. That journey you have taken, that journey of life is yours forever. Use as many diversion but all diversions will lead you to that one path. Hence, I say do not divert your problems. Just accept them. See them. Question them. Then look at their value. Trust me, no problem has more value than your life. I am telling you that your life is more valuable than even God! Your life is as valuable as the sustenance of this Universe. Never forget that.

Religion always tells you to repent. This repent is the biggest bullshit of the century. Who should you repent to? A priest? God? Forget them. Let them coil up about your mistakes. Let them cringe about it. Let them nauseate themselves. You have no need to repent to anyone. You don’t need to answer to anyone. The only person that you need to find an answer for is your self. You do not even need to justify or repent to yourself. You need to learn how to find the answer that is all. Never repent. It is this act of repent that is creating the pressure. You feel you always owe an explanation. But you do not. You have made your mistake and you already feel guilty about it. The fact is that you repent it then you are still feeling the pressure. The pressure has not been lifted. Yes, you are told that God or your Priest or your Guru will forgive you because you repent your sins. However, there is a doubt in your mind that what if they do not forgive me. What if I make another mistake then that means whatever sin I have repented is nothing but a massive lie. Therefore, I am against any sort of act of repent. It takes the soul away from you. It snatches your soul and burns it in an instant.

The fact is that I do not blame youngsters for self-harming. There are not enough voices like myself who can guide them. They need to also understand that problems happen, mistakes occur and that life is not always going to be a smooth path. It is best to live for each day. Forget about the past and the future. Let your future be guided by your present. It does not matter if the problems are difficult. It does not matter that your parents, your siblings, your friends or anyone else is right up in your face and you want to fucking punch their lights out. Look at them and think how silly they are making a small issue into a big issue. Look at how narrow minded their implications are. Detach your self from it. Never be attached to anything. Just live with a clear mind.

If you feel that the pressure is mounting up. If you feel that life is getting too much. If you feel that you want to escape the pain of the world. Then just sit down and do this meditation for a few minutes. Close your eyes and think of nothing but black. Concentrate on this eternal darkness. Then feel the emotions of your love from within you adding light to it. Slowly emerging as stars and then into a blinding white light.

I can assure you that you will feel better. Don’t worry. Just smile and enjoy life. Be positive. Most of all, I am here for you.

Rahul N Singh

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