Everyday can feel like a test. Anything you do, you may find peace in it and then suddenly something has to disturb it. Or a situation occurs and you question whether it is to throw you two steps back or brings things forward.
Recently, I have found that I am being tested a lot. You feel that you are about to enter a comfortable few moments of your life and things seem to be working your way and then a blast from the past arrives and it weaves it’s sacred way into your present. You realise that this situation has arisen because there is a lesson to be learned but what is the lesson? What am I suppose to do? What is the best thing to do?
Inner turmoil appears and disappears, appears and disappears and finally you come to a nice sanctuary – your inner Self. Away from the hustle bustle of thought, the unnecessary chat, the falsifying expressions of emotion and feelings and the sanctuary feels like the best place to be…until it chucks you out.
You know that the best thing that happened to you was in the past and now that it makes your way into the present, you are a little confused. I say ‘you’ but I mean ‘I’! Here is my reflection and therefore I continue. You feel that the best thing wants you, it desires you abut there is a problem! The future is knocking and the present moment will not let it in. The future is shouting and expressing so much to lure you into giving up so that the present can feature the future. But neither the past nor future is real but only your present. Now, is your present worthy to keep the past or is it worthy to continue into the future.
Very rarely but it happens, you are chatting to someone whom you care about deeply, you feel high like as if you have taken a drug whenever you speak to this person. And although this person doesn’t admit it, they feel high after speaking to you. It’s amazing, it’s everything you want but whatever makes you high will result either in a crash landing or a safe landing.
The landing is always rough and uncontrollable. The future that looked stable has a new dimension added into it. The past wants a piece of it. And me, the present wants the past. No matter how many times it has let me down, disappointed me, distracted me, disturbed me, I find an incredible urge, desire, need to allow this past take charge of my present.
I am being really cryptic at the moment, using different styles because this is what happens when you become more intune with yourself. Nothing is ever linear. Nothing can occur in successive linear movement, life is full of waves, it travels in waves and it is best to surf on the tide!
People want answers and you can’t give any. Is there an answer? Do I need to give an answer? I don’t know. Do I need answers? Definitely. Maybe it is time to take a step back and see what I want. I need to take some time for myself and allow the limitations of my mind explore the vastness of what is occurring. Let life flow with absolute ease and beauty. Maybe the past can build in the present to create a wonderful future.
His love and blessings,