Grief is a very difficult aspect of the human nature to deal with. It is something I have struggled with and although you go through a cycle of pain, guilt, pain, guilt, there is a point where there is an acceptance that things will never be the same again. That is not a bad thing to accept, in fact it is this acceptance that moves things forward.
Love is definitely an emotion that we experience on a day to day level and love is one of the strongest emotions that we encounter too. It is emotion in which we are happy to lose ourselves into because it is beautiful to do so. It harmonises life and makes it a little sweeter otherwise the constant negativity in the world, would certainly limit our experience of love.
Faith defines the way we live our lives on a spiritual basis. For me, spirituality is everything and defines the very fabric of my existence. Take spirituality away from me and I wouldn’t understand what faith is. Faith is based on your own spirit. It is purely based on the individual and the focus and attention they place on spiritual awareness and virtues. Faith is the building blocks for trust and when trust enters the spiritual journey of an aspirant, it takes the human experience to an enlightened stage. It is very rare to see someone trust life and trust existence but if you know someone who does that and you learn from them, they become an inspiration for you for the rest of your life.
My faith and love turned into trust when I met my Guru for the first time. Mind you, I met my Guru many times before that but it wasn’t as special. It was special but not of the same quality as when I met Him with trust. Once that occurred, nothing else really mattered. I knew from thereon that my spiritual journey would take me to new heights. Why would I want to go through the heights of spirituality? There is fear that I may lose ambition or I may not want to live a ‘normal’ life but I am living a ‘normal’ life (I am married and if life wishes, I will have kids too), I work and I eat, drink coffee but yes, there is a difference – I live each moment with the awareness of the Truth – that I am part of this Formless Reality. Sometimes, I do forget and I get tangled into my roles but I remind myself that these roles are not me and will never be me.
One day, my love and faith met with their friend grief. This took my trust to a new level and a new height. Now, my trust didn’t belong to a body but was now part of the whole cosmos and beyond – formless, shapeless and boundless – full of compassion and bliss. The difficult part was accepting that the body was no longer there. Mind you, people think that talking about your grief, talking about losing a loved one, being emotional is a sign of weakness and this is not right. Showing your emotions is not a sign of weakness and has to be understood as a sign of strength and recovery. You see, my relationship with my Guru was going through a new phase and as much as I love the old phase, it felt like I was on a search again. Maybe this is the beauty of grief, that you go on the search to find your Beloved again and this time – all human states and emotions are to be used.
I know some friends that are in the same boat as me and I want to let you know that you are strong and it doesn’t matter who you have lost, every loss you have faced has its own importance. Do not let anyone make you believe that your faith is weak or not strong enough. You are going the way life wants you to go. Each step of your life will strengthen you as you begin to take the relationship you had to a new level. Grief will empower you in ways that nobody can assume. Let me remind you that even enlightened beings were devestated when their Masters left them – look at Rumi and Shams. Let this settle with you.
It is tough writing this and I want you to know that there are others on the journey with you.