In a reflective mood tonight,
To check where I am at the end of 2016,
Another year has whizzed by,
With it blessings and losses,
The blessing is my marriage,
The loss is the Guru that I loved more than anything,
Snatched away in a moment,
Without a glimmer of hope of survival,
The One whom I still feel is alive
Would appear lifeless in the month of May.
I want to say that this year has been great,
But that would be a lie,
The aloneness I feel is not ordinary,
It seems like I have been forced into it,
I have had the aloneness look at me,
And I give in to it and the darkness is embraced.
Then I have a beautiful wife,
Who is like an angelic light
Who whispers to me that I am never alone,
And I smile and feel okay on the surface,
With the Light entering the roots of my mind eventually.
The tears that I shed contain my sadness and happiness,
The joys of being with someone who reminds me of Him,
Then the sadness of realising He is no longer here,
Although the presence of our Satguru is everywhere,
It can never be destroyed or even created,
It is transferred in every moment,
From one cell to one universe,
It is difficult to not be able to hear a response,
To have a hug and forget my troubles,
To have that one glance where our eyes meet,
I will know in that instance that God is here,
And I miss this interaction more and more everyday.
I may be lost today and trying to find my feet,
I may try to live in a reality where You are here,
Baba ji, it is not easy being without You,
For me a Guru is never born nor dies,
That is why I cannot understand this ‘death’,
You are aliveness and Fullness,
You are Formless and Boundless,
You are the Soundless Sound,
You are the Gateless Gate,
In 2017 this is what I need to reawaken,
I know where I am failing,
And that is where I will be picking myself up,
2016 has been a lesson not a defeat,
And 2017 will be lessons learned.
As much as I write,
I can never touch the glory of the Creator,
I cannot write even a single letter.
The power lies in the word,
Once the word is understood,
It is heard in all directions,
It becomes the Friend of your heart.
I have tried to write about This One,
Who has shown me just a glimpse of Him,
And I am failing to write a single atom to Him,
His Vastness has no bounds and is infinite.
When He is fully realised,
This pen will not be able to lifted,
The beauty of the Formless is indescribable,
Silence fails to even comprehend Him.
My Formless, I surrender to You,
Let the Pen of Realisation re-write my mind,
Let the Pen of Realisation re-write my heart,
Let the Pen of Realisation re-write my soul,
Wherever and however I am approached,
May it only be You – Formless One,
That is experienced by all.
Surrendering I am singing Your praises,
Surrendering I am writing Your praises,
Surrendering I am hearing Your praises,
Surrendering I am walking Your praises,
Surrendering I am forever alive,
Whoever surrenders is never born nor dies.
This pain calms down and settles,
You feel that it is still and grounded,
Suddenly you are swept away,
Struggling to think as a wave crashes against you.
Then you realise it is an earthquake
Everything is crumbling down,
A tornado vacuums all your happiness,
And then it all stops.
You would call this a time of disaster
But now nothing is happening,
And this nothing feels like a disaster.
Atleast the activity kept me busy,
Now all I have is myself
And I don’t know where I have gone.
I went out on a journey,
Travelling against land and sea,
Still my Beloved is missing.
I seek for those eyes,
I seek for that smile,
I seek for that embrace,
I feel lost without You,
I am all alone at sea,
No activity not even myself,
Enlightenment without You
Feels like I am all alone.
I remember speaking to a manager
She didn’t approve of a management style of
another manager who managed me.
She told me a simple thing
And it should apply to everyone
‘Do not become a mood hoover!’
It got me thinking alot
We all have bad days at work
Sometimes it becomes overwhelming
It can get the better of us
But why let it get the better of us?
We are incharge of our own lives
Why should our state of mind
Be at the will of others?
Yes, if you must show emotion at work
Do that and don’t hold back.
If you can look at the situation objectively
Then right course of action is taken.
If no answer is coming to you
Then simply do not react,
Otherwise something that is a molehill
Will undoubtedly take shape of a mountain.
The worse thing is when you come home
Or you go to see your friends
And you act all moody and down.
We all have our troubles and problems
Nobody is exempt from experiencing this.
Begin to understand the nature of your feelings,
Understand how your energy passes into a room.
A wise man once told me personally that
Are you that person who enters a room
And people stand up to leave? Or
Are you that person who enters a room
And the room lights up with joy?
If you cannot find happiness in yourself
If you cannot find joy in yourself
You will NEVER find it in another.
That person will become a reflection
Of what your state of being truly is.
When you come back from work
Meet others with a grand smile.
Give them positive energy
Because when their times are tough
You may be the only hope they have
The only thought they will possess
When they feel overwhelmed.
I stared at this Path with His wondrous Self,
I looked into His eyes that smiled freely,
He anticipated my doubts and delusions,
All He did was walk ahead of me as if in ignorance.
I watched a doubt arise and delusion in despair,
He would turn around every time with a smile,
To check if I was still focussed,
Or was I about to lose to the wavering mind?
He stopped by a tree that was ready to blossom,
He touched the centre of my forehead,
A gust of wind appeared out of nowhere,
Stood still by the tree as if seeking permission.
It felt that now that time had stopped,
Was I about to receive the Teaching I longed for?
His compassion and mercy pierced my heart,
I had no desire but to learn of the Artist of this Art!
He didn’t utter a word nor give a sound,
Nor a sign or a hint to offer as a guide.
He closed His eyes and I followed Him,
Little did I know what was in store for me!
I got sucked into a swirling vortex
My senses defeated so who am I?
Everything came to a screeching halt,
Colours of mist appeared never seen before.
My Guru walked ahead of me on the Path,
Not because He is first and I am second.
He made sure nothing hurt me on the Path,
His feet bruised and my feet untouched.
How these visions appeared without intention,
As if the Truth felt obliged to reveal,
My Guru surrounded me yet nowhere to be seen,
What do I do amongst indescribable colours?
A blink of an eye and I was back on the Path,
The Guru with His eyes open featured beaming smile,
The gust of wind stood still like a guard,
A clap and the blossom rained from above.
The path filled with flowers and petals,
This was the moment the heavens celebrated,
Perceptions heightened accessing all dimensions,
I had finally realised who I am.
This only happens with the Guru’s grace,
The Truth comes to you not the other way round.
The Truth in fact is always here,
Do we realise its access is eternal-bound?
Without the Guru the path is dull and dark,
Even realisation will bring you pain and hurt,
Everything is smooth once the task is complete,
Until then the Guru is everything you do not seek.
He will shatter every belief you possess,
Question every ritual you do in spiritual pretence,
Create situations to test your emotions,
Losing your balance is it He that you will hold?
The Guru is the glistening Reality,
That is Self-revealing and Self-created,
It neither needs ‘me’ nor ‘you’
This is the objectivity the Guru requires.
Bliss descends upon you from the Beyond,
This is blessing from the Blissful Beloved,
Standing in front of me with no form to see,
Just a Formless Self an endless Presence.
This is all about radical change,
It is not about voting out Conservatives,
It’s not about keeping Labour out of parliament.
We are talking about radical change,
It isn’t about red and blue with a mix of yellow,
Now we have to acknowledge purple and green,
Even if the media fear the leftist Green.
It is all about manifestos,
It is all about pledges,
It is all about values.
If you care about equality,
Would you really feel austerity is righteous?
Is austerity the only possibility,
To create false hope of rags to riches?
If the rich get richer is that equality,
Especially if the poor are getting poorer?
Are companies still getting billions in profit?
I mean net profit not gross profit.
What happened to our collective communities?
Do we have to first build bridges with our neighbours?
With reducing local amenities,
Do you trust another public spending slashing?
We voted for no tuition fees,
Yet can we settle with just £6,000 from £9,000?
Can we settle with no real solution to housing?
Can we cope with forcing disabled people to work?
Or those with six months or less to live?
Can we even mean test those that cannot work?
Can we accept soul-sucking zero-hour contracts?
Are you ready to live 5 more years of low wages?
5 more years of the lowest living standards?
Blamed on immigrants who pay their fair share?
Can we expect our bonuses from the Banks we own?
Should the money really go to Cameron’s mateys?
The election is not just about the next 5 years,
This is about changing the course of history!
Do you want to be remembered for picking the same old two?
Or resisting to vote because they all sound the same?
I have read every manifesto from the 5 main parties,
I cannot match the Greens to any other party,
Or ‘socialist’ Labour with ‘nationalist’ UKIP.
It isn’t about tactical voting,
If your vote isn’t heard then make it heard,
Roar so the shackles break away,
Let the establishment begin to tremble,
By the vibration of true active democracy.
Let the Sun and the Mail tarnish your righteous image,
Trust me to them it doesn’t matter if you are Christ or the Buddha.
We can reform the electoral system,
Build more social housing,
Make the Bankers pay back,
Cap private renting,
Steer away the NHS from privatisation,
Reward doctors and nurses fairly,
Bring football down from a game to a sport,
Reform the welfare system for all,
By giving a universal basic income,
Care for the vulnerable,
Providing creative education,
Led by Sir Ken Robinson,
Reward our children,
And offer adults free uni education.
Co-operate with the world,
Start to remove the fear of nuclear war,
Create greener energy,
Save our planet from implosion to explosion,
Nationalise public transport,
Localise our farming,
Make businesses pay their taxes,
Close up all the damaging loopholes,
This can all happen if we sit and think,
If we move away from propaganda,
If we read the manifestos,
With our own heart and mind,
Whether you are left or right wing,
For a bird to fly needs both wings.
We can vote tomorrow,
But democracy doesn’t stop there,
From the 8th May 2015,
Let’s bring change that nobody has ever seen.
Every night that rains,
Is the heaven crying.
The stars behind the clouds,
Are lost in our past.
The centre of life,
Is the present.
What ever has squandered,
Finds its place in the heart.
The heart is my metaphor,
For the God that lives in you.
For my Beloved,
You will be my thoughts and words.
I may have lost you,
But you are the star in the past.
The present is a surprise,
For it never relies on the past.
Can there be an end to my love?
With the Universe my love expands.
Let my experience of your love,
Remain my life-force to live.
Rahul N Singh