I have withheld all my thoughts at the cliff edge of my mind,
A step further and the emptiness will be filled again,
Many times I have gone over the cliff,
Trashing myself into an ocean of thoughts.
Why do I lose the beauty of an empty mind?
Why do I not allow the song to continue?
Where the Sacred Aum surrounds me,
Yet my thoughts seem to drown me.
I've let thoughts win each time,
Not that this is a battle on my side,
Each time I seek for the Sacred Aum,
More noise seems to appear at the Gate.
Acting like a great host - I let the noise in,
Suddenly my house is frantic with chaos,
I often stand by and watch this drama unfold,
And again I enter into the Sacred Aum.
When the noise has finally entered into a melody,
When the heaviness of thought enters a lighter state,
When sorrow dissolves into an intoxication,
I am bliss, transforming into Formless Awareness.
The greatness of mysticism is it’s powerful endeavor to unite consciousness with the Universal Consciousness. The steps that are taken with mysticism are very simple. It is a constant inquiry into how can I become one with the Formless? It is a real look into the availability of such an experience and the expectation of disappointment if any concepts once held become useless and heavy baggage onto the ego.
Mysticism is the transcendence of the ego into a more human, yet divine being. The ego is not casted as some evil creature that needs to be banished. It is a friend that served its purpose and now must rest. Yet, if for whatever reason, a deviation from the path occurs, this sleeping giant (ego) can rise again to take over from the more human and divine qualities of the being. The ego despite not wanting transcendence helps us with many tools to show us of its presence. If pride of any kind appears, attachments, lust, greed or false identity then the ego is ready to take the reigns again. Otherwise, one can truly rest in spiritual awareness and enjoy a very human and divine life.
Uniting with the Universal Formless Consciousness is a time when we can experience an expanse, yet we can have a single-minded focus on that point of absolute stillness. This seemingly paradoxical realization is both empowering and a continuous source of inspiration. The more we acclimatize with this, the more spiritual awareness grows and becomes a larger part of our lives. When our spiritual growth starts to mature, when the union has laid a solid foundation, joy and bliss are around the corner. I can sense this in my own experience.
Mysticism is the way forward for a true spiritual journey. Unless you do not find the Formless Self within you, it will be a difficult and arduous journey ahead especially if honesty about your growth is in limited supply.
This is going to be a short post but I wanted to express how much joy that one can feel if there is a single focus on Nirankar, which means Formless. Once there is a moment of this, where you feel the absolute stillness, there is immense joy available. All that is required is this practice to continue and to let these few minutes become longer and longer.
As I sat in contemplation last night at a gathering last night, I kept thinking of the words in the title of this blog – Freedom in the Formless. It felt like an inner voice guiding me that I had to write about this and explore what it meant.
I regularly attend a spiritual gathering and the fundamental teaching is that we are all formless and that we can understand this by understanding that the world that we see around us is eventually formless when we break it all down. When we know that beyond the universe is formless, we can contemplate within that we are also Formless.
I find this to be a very powerful thought, which in the beginning it simply is a thought. Then as we begin to contemplate on it, meditate on it, we slowly begin to feel like the Formless and then we become Formless. The closest material to the Formless is love. In fact, love helps us a lot in spirituality. My wife is amazing at helping me grow spiritually and ensuring that I don’t remain stagnant. She is a perfect mirror for me and every time I think of her, I am overwhelmed with this sense of unconditional love. I don’t know why I love her, I just do. I don’t mean to be all romantic here, but simply stating we can feel spiritual concepts within our own homes and that my wife has allowed me to dive back into my spirituality.
The one thing that I love is when I express how I feel about the day with my wife, I express my emotions and I have slowly seen how anger is slipping away from me. There was a time maybe in 2013/2014 where I didn’t experience anger at all. It just never happened. Many things could have stirred that anger but I was so drenched in my experiences of the Formless, anger just couldn’t rise. I didn’t overcome it, I let it rest for a while.
Then in 2017, my anger started coming back. Questions appeared and no answers were good enough. The problem was not about the answers that people gave, they gave the best answers they could but I had the answers within me all the time. However, I didn’t have the time to look at my own answers. I was angry with the world, angry with the circumstances and most of all, angry at the lack of love. Which is hilarious when I think about it, being angry at the lack of love. However, it felt so true at the time. I couldn’t understand how far we stepped back when it came to following spiritual principles that were held on to so tightly like love, understanding, forgiveness and acceptance.
Yesterday, while talking to my wife, I expressed that there was a time in my life when I didn’t get angry. I would raise my voice a little but it never grew into anger. I stayed calm for most of the time as I was so aware of my own self. My wife very beautifully asked – “But you meditated a lot back then?” and I replied that I did and that I used to wake up at 4am in the morning and meditate for an hour (Thank you Dad for waking me up at 4am). I got rid of a lot of the emotions that disturbs the peace of humans. However, in 2017 and especially 2018, my anger and those other disturbing emotions came back again. The only answer was and is a lack of meditation and awareness that I am formless. Not conceptually but experientially.
It has been in recent times that I have noticed my anger has been a regular visitor to my consciousness. It feels like a guest that has overstayed its welcome. I keep showing it the door but it keeps staying for yet another night. The only reason this happens is because I choose to let the Formless stay out for another night.
Although, I haven’t spoken much about what freedom in the formless means but this is reflective of a past that was good but a present that has all the possibility of becoming better. All that is needed is for me to go into that wisdom that shows me that within me, it is all Formless. In this vast experience, where is anger, jealousy, greed, lust or pride? These tiny specks of the human experience have enlarged themselves so much that they live in the majority of our days. I feel it is a time to bring an end to that. How do we do that? Awareness, we need to become aware of our own awareness.
How much am I aware in the day that my body is Formless? How much am I aware in the day that my mind is Formless? How much am I aware in the day that I am simply the Formless? In fact, how much am I aware that there is nothing but the Formless? Do I dive into these contemplations everyday? Maybe we should try it out for a week. See how it goes and what happens. It is an experiment where the only thing you could lose is your ego – the nucleus of all the negative emotions.
Let’s come back to this next week and share what we have discovered.
The one thing about being a writer is that even if you have moved on from something, you will be dragged back into that headspace. You always have to give an experience to the reader or the listener and to do this you have to give them the emotions that you had during the time.
As I look to start writing my poetry book based on my memories, experiences with Baba ji, my Beloved Spiritual Master, I know I have to go back in time and feel the exact pain that I felt then and still deal with the feelings I have now. This is the way I write my poetry and therefore, it is not necessarily that what I write is about how I feel right now but it can be about a feeling I had 5 years ago or 5 days ago.
This is going to be tough and it will get tougher while I write what I feel and how I felt, how emotional each experience, memory holds and it is in this space that I have to gather spiritual stability, to maintain that witness within me and let everything flow naturally.
We all face challenges and this book is one of them. I decided today that this book will be the last book of the trilogy, of which two books have been released already. It marks the end of the Master-Disciple relationship of Rahul and Hardev. Baba ji will always be my Beloved and it is Him that I seek all wisdom from. I want to see Him in everything and find that all ways are His beautiful ways.
Each day is tough in dealing with this loss and it never gets easy. What helps is the love and care that you get at home. I let out a lot of what I feel through writing and being in the present moment but what is experienced will always be empty and silent eventually. This emptiness will have His fullness and this silence will have His harmony. At the moment, I may be getting signs of it but He never lets any of His disciples down. All I have to do is be in synchronicity with Him.
My tears have been flowing as I remember how much He gave to me and what He gave can never be repaid for several more lifetimes but I have to repay it in this lifetime. This means I have to work several times harder to reach the goal that He gave us – which was to be enlightened, divine beings.
I will start writing tonight and all I wish for is that you all give me your good wishes and blessings.
Satguru’s love and blessings
Some of us learn to meditate, we have done it for many years but there always comes a point when we feel that something is blocking any further progress. The thing with meditation, apart from its scientific and medicinal value, it is a spiritual practice that is about reaching a state beyond the body and mind.
I have always used the image of my Guru – Nirankari Baba Hardev Singh ji when I begin the remembrance of the Formless Truth. Remembrance is the next stage after meditation. Meditation clears the mind, remembrance goes beyond the mind. Meditation takes you to the boundless, formless state whilst remembrance allows you to become the boundless, formless state. Remembrance is simply knowing who you are and being who you are. When we seek to know our true nature that is meditation, when we seek and become that becomes remembrance.
The power of remembrance is moving beyond words and entering silence. When you know you are focussing on the Formless, you recognise you are in This and you are blessed. This is the blissful state that is only felt with remembrance. When you become that very thing that is always stable and still – when you remember that this is your nature then stability and stillness is your state whilst in movement.
Meditation comes in waves and you reach peaks and valleys. However, with remembrance you are able to be in this one state of rising above, you are the witness and observer. You are neither moved by pleasure or pain, happiness or sadness, differences of forms, by the nature of thought, by action or inaction.
What I am saying here is not about comparing. If you think this is comparing then it is ego. Many compare the difference and then drop one of them. If you want to enter the state of remembrance, meditation surely does help and can help you get to focus quicker. Use meditation to help you if remembrance is proving to be difficult. Whilst meditation needs to move to remembrance eventually as this is the next stage.
I still sit with my back straight, tilt my head back a little and allow my eyes to focus on the third eye area, sit cross-legged with my palm facing upwards whilst my forearm rests on my knees and this is something I learned during my meditation days. I carry this forward because it reminds me of the sacred space I am about to enter completely. Then I begin to enter the state of remembrance and lose all essence of myself and enter this formless state and be in complete being.
Remembrance is being both in movement – sitting, sleeping, eating, waking, walking, talking etc and at the same state be in the same state of the formless – still, free, boundless, love, compassion, blissful etc. This is the tricky aspect of remembrance. You have to live normally and do all the normal things but be still and blissful like a Sage, a Buddha or your Guru. This is the essence of spirituality that not many can grasp or understand. They cannot balance this because they have not become the formless state. They fear it because somewhere they have fear for something. If you want to enter the Formless and be the Formless then you have to be as mighty as a lion, fearless and determined to be completely free.
In this state of balanced remembrance, you will be able to fully function in your daily activities and be in bliss at the same time. This has to be the goal for anyone seeking enlightenment. There is no two ways about it. This whole process is made easier with the grace of a Master, a Buddha, a Sage. I was lucky enough to have a Master, who gave His kind grace and showed me how to meditate and be in remembrance of His true nature. The Spiritual Master is a mirror and reflects Your true nature and this is the beauty. Unless, we clear our vision so we can see this true reality, we will be stuck in just praising the Master but doing nothing about it. We have to be as the Master wants us to be. The disciple has to end the relationship between the Master and Disciple because their relationship has to go beyond all titles and labels into a state of unconditional love. This has to be the aspiration of the disciple.
The Grace of the Master with practice on remembrance makes the whole process towards enlightenment easier and we need to learn to be this Formless at all times. Settling for anything less isn’t good enough. Go beyond everything so you can be Everything.
Be in remembrance – when you know you are focussing on the Formless, you can observe and witness the Formless and converse with it. Then you recognise you are in this Formless and are protected by this Formless. Finally you are blessed because you are one with this Formless – the bliss and ecstasy you are witnessing and have become is the biggest blessing. And in this process, you may see your Master and seeing the Beloved Master is just another sign that the blessing has begun. And it surely has for me!
Try out being in remembrance and feel and become the presence of That which you seek.
Thank you for reading. Please like, share and comment.
Meditation changed my life, in fact it became a way of life for me. It isn’t the typical, sit on the floor, cross-legged, eyes closed with hands forming a mudra type of thing. Although, if anyone watched me meditate they would see it but meditation is beyond what is seen and the only way anyone can understand meditation and what it does needs to practice it themselves.
Meditation for me is about the awareness of Formless Consciousness at all time, as I commit to any act and associating all thoughts and feelings to this Vast Void. What triggered this? Wrong question! Who triggered this? That is the question. This was simply triggered by a moment of surrendering to my spiritual Guru. Now, despite all the scientific research that has gone into meditation – it can only study the brain and the way it functions during meditation. What science cannot dissect or analyse is consciousness as they do not know why consciousness exists and how it was created. This is where spirituality is a science of knowing the inner self – your consciousness or as the Sanskrit term calls it the ‘atman’.
Meditation made me a calmer person and I used to get very agitated, irritated, annoyed at any little issue. With meditation slowly all the things that would prove to be an annoyance slowly faded away. It wasn’t as if it disappeared and I didn’t know how. I observed my thoughts slowly transform. I watched my consciousness change the way it started to see things – it moved from reactionary to responsive. It thought of both sides and then picked no sides. It responded to the moment and that was the only thing that it would have to ‘defend’ if it came to that.
Meditation made me experience love for the first time and it was a love that was unconditional. Yes, it was a broken heart that began meditation to mend the pieces back together but my heart has remained broken ever since. It hasn’t pieced itself back together, it hasn’t even made the attempt. Now, I love like there is only love. Even in hate, I see love. I do not find hate to be an absolute opposite. Hate is simply a premature state of love. I disagree even with the words ‘like’ or ‘fancy’ someone because it means love really. We don’t like to be honest, or frank about it but love is simply love. It’s opposite called hate is just a premature state and it will eventually evolve into love. Hate is another gateway into love. Maybe it is this new formulation of love that has helped me to accept people as they are even if they annoy the hell out of me. I accept it and move on.
Meditation has made me accept me for who I am. I mentioned earlier that I started meditation due to heartbreak but that was just a reason for me to get to know who I am. I would go further from the previous paragraph that nobody can break your heart and when you realise this then your meditation goes deeper. When you realise that it was your thoughts and feelings that made you feel the way you do then you can transform pain to something of the beyond. Once I did that I was able to see past the silliness of who I thought I was and started being more. When you are more centred in Being then life is simpler and even fascinating. I realised that this personality will always have flaws but what I am and who I am is beyond all these labels, definitions and ideas that people possess.
Meditation has made me accept my own mortality. Accepting the fact that you are going to die is no easy task because who wants to think about an apparent ‘morbid’ topic? For me, death is one of my favourite topics because it no longer has a place in fear but has a place of celebration and love. Meditation allows you to explore what it would be like when you die and the answer is always well it wouldn’t matter because I would be dead anyway. Death is only for the mind and dying before you die is giving your atman the place of your mind as the driving living force of your being. When you are able to accept this then you become somewhat immortal as you know that death can only be for the temporary but how can death happen to something that has no beginning or end? If you have been there before time became a factor in creation then surely you will outlast it. I used to do an inquiry into when I was born. So before I was a foetus, was I a sperm cell or an egg, or was I cells that made those, was I from the air that my mother or father breathed first. When was the beginning? I kept exploring and eventually I found that I couldn’t locate it. Surely, I would have to be there before creation to know that has been created. You may need to read this a few times to truly grasp what I am saying.
Meditation made me more open minded towards other cultures, other communities, religion, and spiritual affiliations, people who are hard hit by society, their gender or sexuality. I used to judge a lot and have very strong opinions about things and they had to be either this way or that way. Now, I only see oneness. I am able to still have opinions but my compassion and understanding is for everyone. Meditation allows you to see beyond the surface so it is not that easy to formulate a definitive opinion, instead it is an opinion that is fluid and adaptable. When you see the other as a reflection of you then it becomes easier to be a little kind and look past the diversity in the other and see it as a unifying force.
Meditation has made me see the laughter in a lot of things. In fact, it has made me less serious and this is because meditation has helped me be a very happy person with a carefree attitude too. I am serious when it comes to the actual meditation but this seriousness is not one that sucks the energy out of you. It is a seriousness that has a taste of devotion towards completing an act because you love it. A sense of humour becomes part of life as you realise that everything that we hold to be important is not really that important and jokes also challenge our perceptions. Living life with a lot of laughter and smiles is the way the meditator experiences life. Enlightenment is a serious game but that is what it is a game and at the end, it is best to laugh about the result, whether it is in your favour or not. Remember, your atman has nothing to do with the results, it just lives because that is what is important – it rests and loves in Being.
Meditation gives you a resounding sense of bliss and bliss has no opposite. Bliss is what occurs when you go beyond the senses and meditation assures that. Bliss is a feeling or an experience that goes beyond thought or emotion. Imagine that! When this first hit me, I was expecting a come down because I felt like I was high on drugs. There was no come down and there never has been. Bliss is very important to live life to the fullest. This is why we do risky things in life. With risks, we want to access something that is beyond the status quo of what should be achieved. Bliss is a blessing and this is all due to the grace of a living Guru that it is maintained. You will get this sense of bliss anywhere and it can be invited without an invitation. You can be at work and it hits you and you are in this state of bliss. You could have tears of joy or be smiling constantly – this is the beauty of bliss and meditation stabilises it.
Meditation has made me observe my ego and my ego hates it. The ego tries to go crazy whenever someone praises a blog post, praises a speech I do or a poem I recite or write. It loves to fill me in with a sense of pride and I watch all this as an observer. An Observer that then recognises that it has also become the observed. This is the state of witnessing and this runs side by side with bliss. When you begin to observe the ego, the less power it gets. The ego tries to catch you with thoughts that are totally unrelated to the present moment and you are able to shrug it away by telling it that it has no place with you. The ego is eventually put to the side to die slowly whilst you live in the witnessing state of bliss consciousness.
As you can see meditation has had a positive impact on my life and I would like that other people experience this. It helps you to see reality for what it is. You are able to be more present, more mindful and this is what enhances life towards new dimensions. Meditation is easily enhanced with a presence of a Guru, who can show you Reality without a precondition. If you have a strong thirst to know life, to understand what it is all about then with the guidance of the Guru – the meditation enhances. This has been the secret for what has happened with me in meditation. Due to this realisation, I sit with the company of the wise, I serve humanity because everyone is my own and I am in remembrance of this Formless Consciousness that is within me, every living being and beyond existence too.
What has meditation done for you?
What would you like meditation to do for you?
When would you like to meditate?
Are you finding it difficult to meditate?
It is better to speak up than keep it in. Sometimes the answer is in the asking.
His love and blessings
The moment I am in His presence, a dance occurs without steps, music occurs without sound, poetry occurs without words and my head bows to His feet – where all blessings are received. Bowing the head to the feet of the Spiritual Master – a sacred ritual that heightens a seeker’s spiritual experience. Why? The head which is the house of two things – one the ego/mind or the third eye. Once my head touches His lotus feet then I am submitting my ego/mind for the Divine Vision – the activation of the Third Eye.
The past two months have been unexplainable. All I know is that something within me has changed and access to a Higher Dimension has been opened with the kind Grace of the Beloved. The Beloved has shown me a love that I have never experienced in my life.
At this moment, my Beloved is on His way to India and I miss the fact that He is not here in Europe or North America. I spent my whole day fighting back tears because I have never felt separation like this before. I can only think of the time when my ex-girlfriend left me a couple of years back but ten times worse. But this is different. Let me explain…
This heartbreak has shattered my heart into billions of pieces but yet my heart has never felt as fulfilled as ever. My Master, my Beloved who I used to experience only as the Form – His human form as an object of worship, He has opened a new dimension where He Himself has become Formless – the very essence that He points to all the time.
In recognition of the Formless much is discovered if one is willing to explore into the Nature of this Reality. Let me put it frankly – enlightenment is not an option. You were born enlightened and you must die enlightened. Enlightenment is what God is. Realisation of the Formless is enlightenment. So when your Guru becomes Formless for you then you have entered an interesting phase because this love has no opposite, it has no end nor a beginning, it has never been born and will never die then you are entering a new dimension. You have attained something and now you must come to terms with it.
I love my Guru like anything. I am very attached to the Form more than I should be. However, He has changed this and now He is experienced in the Formless, He is everywhere and His beautiful Form is always seen and felt. This dimension is vast and I know the next steps because the Guidance of the Guru continues. Remain open so He can answer and change your life. If you stop at one place, or one dimension then you have limited the Guru but how can you limit the Limitless? It is impossible. You have to go beyond all dimensions to then enter the state where it is dimensionless. Only then is the Formless perceived in full glory! What a glimpse! What a vision! I bow at my Master’s feet – this is where all treasures are!
I am in constant meditation, His remembrance is happening automatically and my mind and body are coming to terms with it. Oh Formless Beloved, only Your kind grace and blessings can calm this tempest!
I am a traveller in the Formless,
I am travelling alone,
The Beloved and Formless are within all,
Rahul makes this declaration my friends!
His love and blessings,
I stared at this Path with His wondrous Self,
I looked into His eyes that smiled freely,
He anticipated my doubts and delusions,
All He did was walk ahead of me as if in ignorance.
I watched a doubt arise and delusion in despair,
He would turn around every time with a smile,
To check if I was still focussed,
Or was I about to lose to the wavering mind?
He stopped by a tree that was ready to blossom,
He touched the centre of my forehead,
A gust of wind appeared out of nowhere,
Stood still by the tree as if seeking permission.
It felt that now that time had stopped,
Was I about to receive the Teaching I longed for?
His compassion and mercy pierced my heart,
I had no desire but to learn of the Artist of this Art!
He didn’t utter a word nor give a sound,
Nor a sign or a hint to offer as a guide.
He closed His eyes and I followed Him,
Little did I know what was in store for me!
I got sucked into a swirling vortex
My senses defeated so who am I?
Everything came to a screeching halt,
Colours of mist appeared never seen before.
My Guru walked ahead of me on the Path,
Not because He is first and I am second.
He made sure nothing hurt me on the Path,
His feet bruised and my feet untouched.
How these visions appeared without intention,
As if the Truth felt obliged to reveal,
My Guru surrounded me yet nowhere to be seen,
What do I do amongst indescribable colours?
A blink of an eye and I was back on the Path,
The Guru with His eyes open featured beaming smile,
The gust of wind stood still like a guard,
A clap and the blossom rained from above.
The path filled with flowers and petals,
This was the moment the heavens celebrated,
Perceptions heightened accessing all dimensions,
I had finally realised who I am.
This only happens with the Guru’s grace,
The Truth comes to you not the other way round.
The Truth in fact is always here,
Do we realise its access is eternal-bound?
Without the Guru the path is dull and dark,
Even realisation will bring you pain and hurt,
Everything is smooth once the task is complete,
Until then the Guru is everything you do not seek.
He will shatter every belief you possess,
Question every ritual you do in spiritual pretence,
Create situations to test your emotions,
Losing your balance is it He that you will hold?
The Guru is the glistening Reality,
That is Self-revealing and Self-created,
It neither needs ‘me’ nor ‘you’
This is the objectivity the Guru requires.
Bliss descends upon you from the Beyond,
This is blessing from the Blissful Beloved,
Standing in front of me with no form to see,
Just a Formless Self an endless Presence.
The moment I hear his voice, my whole world comes to a standstill, now it is only me and Him and that is all that matters. My Guru is my life, my soul, my everything. It is a relationship unlike any other. One way or another, we have relationships that expect and the expectations are impossible to meet. My Guru just expects me to realise who I am and the rest will follow.
What is special about my Satguru? Satguru means the teacher that leads you from darkness to light. He is modern, communicates with modern technology, understands that the future generation have a chance to change things, he is attentive to every detail and yet is able to be completely present. Some will see this and be like well there is nothing special about this. I would ask them try for 5 minutes to be aware of this present moment and see if you can? Most likely, they cannot pass one minute, yet my Guru practices this every day and doesn’t take this as an act to be done but an action that is continuously occurring.
A Guru is not someone that dictates things to you. He is a guide, and it is with His love and compassion that you feel comfortable in confiding in Him and trusting Him with your deepest issues. Issues that family cannot understand, friends will choose not to understand and yet, He will listen with great attention and with infinite compassion. This gives hope to me that one can achieve this state. A Guru doesn’t tell you that He can do something that you can’t. A Guru tells you that you can do everything that He is doing. It is simply surrendering the ego and entering the awakened vision. A vision of non-judgment, a bridging of all matter in the thread of oneness and non-duality. Diversity is found in unity and unity is found in diversity. This is the vision a Guru gives you.
It is not transmitted and yet it is. You still have to work for it but something clicks within you and then the heightened awareness appears. Once this occurs then the Guru’s grace descends and His blessings are fully emitted as you see the Formless. The Cause of all Creation, we call Him – Nirankar.
I cannot explain in mere words what a Guru can do for you. If you do approach a genuine one and I feel I have. He is genuine, humble, kind and extremely likeable. He is down to earth but His wisdom reaches the farthest star. I know people say that this could be my feeling but I say why not meet Him? Why not try to get to know Him? Much is misunderstood in the Guru-disciple relationship and only a perfect Guru can eliminate all doubts and delusions.
We all say we are willing to be adventurous but the real adventure is when the Guru shows you that self-realisation is through god-realisation. Having god-realisation, you may find oneness between you and Him but there will still be a subtle difference. You may realise God and that is great but even greater is allowing God to present Himself in your Self. Your True Self. Then Oneness becomes Isness. This Isness is the Guru’s blessings.