Jealousy has no place in any relationship

It is interesting at how you, the individual, is at the center of the world and then you are married/long-term relationship and the center grows, you have children and the center grows more.  Eventually, you realize that you are there to serve the others to support the center. However, what happens when jealousy and self-centered behavior creeps in? What happens to those relationships?

Jealousy is damaging in any relationship and sometimes we do not even realize how childish we can be when we moan about what other people are doing and why aren’t we given the same respect or why aren’t we invited to the same party etc. The resentment that grows ends up affecting our relationships and no matter how one may act in front of the person they are jealous of, the subtle energy of intention will always creep in, and the vibe is always felt.

When we are in a relationship, we do retain some individuality and that is healthy. We cannot be at the complete beck and call of the other. However, if we are so stubborn that we think the other person, our partner must do what we say and must act upon what we want them to do then that relationship will not last. It will decay and when resentment is felt once then it’s hard to get rid of them. Sometimes, the remarks we make about our relationships hint upon the resentment that is felt deep within. No matter, what someone may say on the surface, the words mention normally have an iota of truth.

Sometimes I joke around and my wife does get a little upset because my comments may portray a feeling that I have not expressed to her. She is damn right to be upset and I may try to pacify her with that it’s a joke but she knows jokes very well, especially mine. My jokes always have a deeper meaning to them. I have slowly learned that I have to express to my wife my feelings and it is hard for an introvert like me but I have got much better. If I need to address something then I will try and solve it that night but it’s always my wife that looks to resolve things before I do.

I truly look up to my wife because of the way she views things and even if I don’t agree with her (which I express), we always leave things on a positive note. The most important thing for me is to never make the relationship about me but about us and it’s easy to make it about me – my feelings, my intentions, my wants and needs, my desires and really things flow much more smoothly when I change the ‘my’ to ‘our’.

Even if our wants, desires and so on need to merge together, sometimes they simply will not and that is okay. It means for the sake of our relationship, it isn’t necessary. Frankly, the relationship comes first because our happiness is tied to it, yet free from it too.

It’s okay to not be okay with someone

As much as we know it is impossible to be liked by everyone, we still want to be liked by everyone. It may be totally unrealistic but we still strive for it.

Recently, an incident occurred with me and I decided that I don’t have to go out of my way to speak to anyone. It is better to keep your own peace of mind than try and put up a front that everything is okay, especially when it is not okay.

I never believe it is right to act ‘normal’ when the behavior of someone was completely absurd. You should be happy to say that I don’t want such people in my radar. I am not going to be fooled by the fake small talk, fake smiles or even fake praises. It doesn’t please me or allows me to think differently of that person.

I say this because even though I am a strong believer in forgiving and I feel it is healthy to forgive someone mainly for your own self and own sanity, it is perfectly fine to forgive and keep that person out of your life.

Sometimes, people may think you are wrong or that it is not right to ignore or avoid someone deliberatly but in the end, they will probably agree that you did the right thing because you put yourself first, you thought about your own feelings and realized the importance of them.

I don’t know if many will agree with what I am saying and let me know by writing a comment, I would love to read your views and consider them.

Stressful times – what do I do?

monochrome photography of person on dark room
Photo by Akshar Dave on Pexels.com

Today, my day was attempting to be stressful and there was huge pressure from work and I could just feel this cloud gover over me, ready to collapse at any time. Even though, the perception would be that the cloud is light, not this one. The cloud of stress is heavy.

In these times, I try to remain mindful, observe my surroundings and try and be a little bit positive. Even when it is tough to do so, I try not to stop smiling. However, that doesnt mean I just cope. In certain circumstances, when I have felt misused or taken advantage of, I end up looking for new opportunities.

The one thing that I do when looking for new opportunities is to make sure that I remain positive and optimistic. It is important that a sense of peace and happiness should be done in the search for new opportunities. The energy that we give out to our environment, is the energy that is most likely to continue. So if it is negative, negative will be the environment, positive and positive will be the environment.

I will not lie that today I felt like I was being crushed, overwhelmed and somehow thrown under the bus but I only allow that to happen if I accept that it is happening in my consciousness. Instead I turned those feelings to this is a challenge and opportunity to show my resilience and initiative.

I hope your day went well and share with me, how you have dealt with such situations.