Mirages and Spiritual Awakening

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Growing up with a thirst for spiritual awakening was not easy as I had to study and build a life thereon. Studying for me was boring because it was forced upon me and inside I knew that I would probably never use half of the things I learned in high school. I was right about that but my thirst for spiritual awakening was also growing, as I became more thirsty, several mirages appeared in my life to distract me – whether it was women, intoxicants, wealth etc.

Eventually these mirages were ignored after several years of going through these experiences as if they were true. I look back at the past and think I was so sure I was doing the best thing for me and now I almost regret some of it. However, what has been done has been done. I have to move forward.

As several mirages appeared again, I knew it was right to let them be as they were but not be allured towards them. I was then clear for spiritual awakening, so I thought but such experiences never come easy even if you have the tool to instantaneously get it.

The mirage of concepts was very heavy and while I got rid of some concepts through careful analysis on their validity, I ended up created some more concepts and down again I went down the rabbit hole. From saying there is a god to know saying there isn’t a god – I was firm on both these concepts at one time and now – I don’t know even though the answer is very, very clear to me.

Two things I had never let go of: One was my love for my Spiritual Master and two was my meditation. Even though, I tried to stay clear from my Spiritual Master, I understood that something else was being played. Even though I disagreed a lot with some of the philosophy that His organization taught, it was later discovered through my own meditation that those were my philosophies and not His. This was when I realized that our perception had to be cleansed in order to truly understand a philosophy as it is and not how you interpret it.

Let’s just say that the way I see the philosophy now is very simple – the realization of the Formless Self, is the realization of your True Self. The Spiritual Master just points at that Formless Self. It is up to you whether you look at the Formless Self or take a little detour with looking at the Spiritual Master. If you do take the detour, it becomes dangerous territory because you may love the Master but your mind has not realized it’s true self so therefore, your Master will be judged by you – even if it is a positive judgement. Any judgment will not let you see something clearly.

As I mentioned, I stayed away from my Master while I was going through this major analysis, but I was very devoted to meditation and meditated a lot. I was working and would wake up as early as 4am and meditate for an hour, then read for two hours and then get ready for work. It so happened, that on a Saturday, I started meditating again around 9am and as I was focussing on empty space for a while, I saw the tiniest dot of Light appear and I was amazed at this. I floated in this empty space and went near it and I heard a sound that simply said ‘Before this, I am,’ and I just saw this dot expand and the whole of creation was presented to me. I couldn’t contain myself and took myself out of the meditative state. I didn’t know what I experienced other than there had to be something before creation.

I have never forgotten this experience but it came back to me three weeks ago. This time, the tiniest dot was not seen but empty space was taken away from me and I came to an absolute stillness and centered my whole focus on that stillness. I was so taken aback by it that it felt like I had been there for 10 minutes when in fact, it had only been around 30 seconds. It was an intense experience. I realized one major thing – it didn’t matter whether this is god or not – there is only stillness. Call it whatever you want now to personalize it. I totally understand why we name it. Yes, it certainly dilutes what It Is but people need something to relate to and the easiest thing to do is to name it.

I enjoyed this experience and I have noticed how it continuously presents itself to me without any desire from my side. It’s presence cannot be ignored by me. It only then occurred to me that my Spiritual Master had told me about this around 5 years ago. He held his right hand out, His palm facing His stomach, maybe 15 cm away from His stomach and with His left hand waving in between the right hand and the stomach said “You have to be aware of this, it is stillness. Keep focusing on this awareness.” Little did I know that after almost 3 years of His departure from His physical form would this golden nugget of wisdom make sense to me and I would understand it.

The mirage I had then was that a Spiritual Master is only the physical body, this is a massive illusion. The teachings are of an eternal nature and so is the presence of the Master. It is now that I truly appreciate everything that has been taught to me. I am still learning, discovering and in fact, I am more eager to learn than I probably was in my teens. Spirituality has no end in terms of literature but in the end it is your own experience that matters. Use the literature to inspire you, refuse to let it be a concept.

A few weeks ago, I had my second spiritual awakening, the sight towards enlightenment is also on the horizon. All gratitude goes to my Spiritual Master.

 

 

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Guest Blog by Niharika Ahuja

Hello everyone!

Today, I am very happy to say that Niharika Ahuja, a very dear friend and a fellow traveller in spirituality has written a blog for me and the readers of this blog. I have known Niharika for years and her wisdom and spiritual understanding is truly remarkable as you will discover when you read the post she has written. She has reached some amazing spiritual heights despite her young age and has been a continuous inspiration

. I have learned a lot from Niharika and I am sure with this blog, you will also learn from her. Niharika also has a blog and catch up on her insightful posts on https://livinginyourlight.wordpress.com


Awareness:

Research indicates as per majority’s beliefs, the average person has 70,000 thoughts
in one day. How crazy is that? That is 70,000 times a day that the average person is
not living within the moment because she or he is thinking about something that
happened in the past or dreaming about something they desire in the future. This
explains why the topic of mindfulness has gained so much interest in society.

Most people will argue why it even matters if they are engrossed in their thoughts?
It matters because the more we let our minds wander to the thoughts of the past or
future, we are taking THAT very moment away from us and our loved ones too. A
second or even an hour after, we will also regret losing those moments we spent
pondering on what could have been or could be, rather than enjoying the
opportunities, people and beauty that surrounded us in that very moment.

Call it awareness, being cautious or more mindful, when every act is done with your
attention in whatever you are doing, you live life in the most enriching and beautiful
way. One may think that doing the dishes, walking your dog, drinking your tea or
even eating may be ordinary things or obligations that do not require our undivided
attention. However, I believe if we do even these smallest acts with our whole heart
and mind, we will start to fully experience the beauty of life and cherish all that it
has to offer.

Research indicates that when we become mindful in whatever we are doing, hearing,
seeing, speaking, eating etc., any depression and anxiety that one may have may also start to diminish and heal. The more I practice mindfulness in my own life, I realize how
many hours on end I wasted being absent from my present moments and a slave to
things I have no control over now. Some moments that are lost can never be
recovered again and soon enough, that will be another grief we will mourn or
ponder over in another present moment, in the future.

An example that I have personally witnessed is where a loved one may be sitting in
front of us trying to engage in a conversation. That person could be going through a
mental illness and may be yearning for a person to talk to for support or any last
sign of hope or love to hold onto. When we don’t give that person our attention and
are too focused on what happened in our own past or how many likes we got on our
picture posted on instagram, we could be giving them (and even ourselves) another
reason to go home and feel worse about their situation and feel more alone than
ever. Every moment and time of ours and others is precious and the less we remain
aware of that, we may be exposed to an entire lifetime of never really living our life
and becoming inspired by things that other people have to offer.

The truth is, we never really know when our last moment will be. It is in our hands
what we choose to spend our last moments doing- living in something in the past, or
could we say that we were fully enjoying and celebrating the greatest present- the
present moment…because it is another opportunity for us to start anew and
experience and create more beautiful memories to hold on to.

The simple habit of putting away our phones when we are meeting with someone,
looking at the smile on your dog’s face when you walk him/her and the sound of the
a loved one’s laugh or nature, mindfulness then becomes not a forced practice or
ritual, but a way of life and an excelled art of beautiful being and living.

people festival sitting freedom
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Wants and Needs

We live in a world of wants pretending that they are needs. We always feel that our wants are extremely important and if not received in the near future, we will be at a disadvantage. Instead if we understand that whenever we want something, we should take a break. Have a look at what is needed as a necessity right now. Maybe not getting something and instead spending time with your loved ones has more value.

As we always find, that if you are confused in knowing the difference between wants and needs then there is one way to find out. Get what you ‘want’ and see if you get over it in a couple of weeks. I predict that you will be over it in a couple of days but let’s just say we are all pretty decent people and that it would take us a couple of weeks to move on to the next ‘want’. It is really simple.

Okay, it is understood that we got what we wanted and it didn’t give us a feeling of sustenance so now we will be able to be careful when we choose to act on getting that ‘want’ and trust me, if we don’t make mistakes, we will keep falling into the rabbit hole. Awareness is key!

Past

shadows-of-past-bwEveryday can feel like a test. Anything you do, you may find peace in it and then suddenly something has to disturb it. Or a situation occurs and you question whether it is to throw you two steps back or brings things forward.

Recently, I have found that I am being tested a lot. You feel that you are about to enter a comfortable few moments of your life and things seem to be working your way and then a blast from the past arrives and it weaves it’s sacred way into your present. You realise that this situation has arisen because there is a lesson to be learned but what is the lesson? What am I suppose to do? What is the best thing to do?

Inner turmoil appears and disappears, appears and disappears and finally you come to a nice sanctuary – your inner Self. Away from the hustle bustle of thought, the unnecessary chat, the falsifying expressions of emotion and feelings and the sanctuary feels like the best place to be…until it chucks you out.

You know that the best thing that happened to you was in the past and now that it makes your way into the present, you are a little confused. I say ‘you’ but I mean ‘I’! Here is my reflection and therefore I continue. You feel that the best thing wants you, it desires you abut there is a problem! The future is knocking and the present moment will not let it in. The future is shouting and expressing so much to lure you into giving up so that the present can feature the future. But neither the past nor future is real but only your present. Now, is your present worthy to keep the past or is it worthy to continue into the future.

Very rarely but it happens, you are chatting to someone whom you care about deeply, you feel high like as if you have taken a drug whenever you speak to this person. And although this person doesn’t admit it, they feel high after speaking to you. It’s amazing, it’s everything you want but whatever makes you high will result either in a crash landing or a safe landing.

Crash!

The landing is always rough and uncontrollable. The future that looked stable has a new dimension added into it. The past wants a piece of it. And me, the present wants the past. No matter how many times it has let me down, disappointed me, distracted me, disturbed me, I find an incredible urge, desire, need to allow this past take charge of my present.

I am being really cryptic at the moment, using different styles because this is what happens when you become more intune with yourself. Nothing is ever linear. Nothing can occur in successive linear movement, life is full of waves, it travels in waves and it is best to surf on the tide!

People want answers and you can’t give any. Is there an answer? Do I need to give an answer? I don’t know. Do I need answers? Definitely. Maybe it is time to take a step back and see what I want. I need to take some time for myself and allow the limitations of my mind explore the vastness of what is occurring. Let life flow with absolute ease and beauty. Maybe the past can build in the present to create a wonderful future.

His love and blessings,
Rahul

The Past

Question: Is it possible to let go of the past?

Poem:

The past is not tomorrow,

Tomorrow is not the past.

Today is nothing but my day,

Live today without a tomorrow.

Live today without a yesterday.

Live now and melt in the present.

Allow the present to wrap around you,

Let compassion bring you warmth.

Answer: First of all, what is the past? The past is simply moments that you had lived. But the question is did you really live those moments of the past? Can you honestly say that the past is completely yours? It never is yours until you have complete awareness throughout each day. Love is always linked to the past. Everyone clings on to the past due to love. It keeps their hopes up of a reconciliation if they remember the past. The past relationships are always important as they teach us valuable lessons. But the love of the pasts tend to showcase our mistakes or our ex partner’s relationships. Don’t expect your ex-partner to own up to their mistakes. They may not see it as mistakes, which means they are bound to make the same mistakes again. Then there are people who learn and try to rectify their mistakes, they make sure that things improve in the future. Forget the future, they must concentrate on the current situation, the current moments. Completely aware of the ‘now’.

Sometimes, we do things by chance, or we take a leap of faith. Sometimes, it is living the past is what creates confusion. I always say that if you have someone that is willing to love you, then accept it. Accept the love. Accept the pure moment of it. Not many people have the opportunity to receive love. Even love is a very complex topic, let us say that the movies, novels, poems give you a false aroma about love. It is nothing like, he will do everything for you, he makes you smile, he makes you dance in joy, he makes your heart beat faster. This is just silly things. Love is a complete circle. It is something that is received, you cannot feel complete by giving love. You need to know how to receive it first. Receiving love is the most difficult aspect to do. It is the acceptance. Everyone believes the other has ‘bad or wrong intentions’, in fact it is your intentions that will bring all the force together to create the ‘bad or wrong intentions’. We must be open to love. We should not say no to it. Love is just a stage, it is not the complete picture. It is half a picture. The other half of the picture is hate. Where there is love, there is hate. They have to exist. In fact, the person you think is your true love is possibly the one you will hate the most eventually. The whole point of that hatred is that you also gave that same amount of love too.

So how does one transcend the whole dimension of love and hate. Then we must go a notch higher. We must look at compassion. Not the compassion that the priests and Gandhi talked about. The compassion in terms of the complete passion. Compassion’s definition in my words is very simple. Compassion is the continuous conscious passion. This is the last stage of ‘love’. That is true love. This true love is only attained, if you love who you are. If you love the person that you are, the person that you are completely aware of. You are aware of the passion. Passion is strong. It is very sexual but very sensual too. It is very sensitive. If you have someone that can give you compassion, they will be the best partners ever. Even if it is short-lived. However, those compassionate people, they know that the energy of love is within them first. It is them who share that passion. It is not really sharing either. It is something that can be caught. You catch it. It attached itself unto you like a sweet fragrance. Compassion makes you live in the moment. It doesn’t remind you of the past nor the future. Just the present. The present is called the present for a reason, it is a gift. You will never get it again. You must know what it is like to receive a gift. Those moments where you unwrap those presents. That is what it feels like when you live with complete awareness. Loving each moment.

The past should be forgotten. Especially the psychological side of it. Remember the facts but forget the feelings attached to it. If you love someone just the same today, right now, in the present then it does not matter about yesterday. Yesterday was a different day. Today is a new day. A special day is today. Yesterday is something you cannot change, it doesn’t have to affect your present and it will not, if you live in it today. Forget the future too, who knows if it will come. I wouldn’t say go for the safe option right now, go for the one that looks the most difficult. Take the risks. Love today not tomorrow. Be compassionate now not later. If you live in today, with compassion, with no psychological memory and with complete awareness then you can forget the past within seconds. It will melt in front of your own eyes.

Enjoy your moments,

Rahul N Singh