The one thing about being a writer is that even if you have moved on from something, you will be dragged back into that headspace. You always have to give an experience to the reader or the listener and to do this you have to give them the emotions that you had during the time.
As I look to start writing my poetry book based on my memories, experiences with Baba ji, my Beloved Spiritual Master, I know I have to go back in time and feel the exact pain that I felt then and still deal with the feelings I have now. This is the way I write my poetry and therefore, it is not necessarily that what I write is about how I feel right now but it can be about a feeling I had 5 years ago or 5 days ago.
This is going to be tough and it will get tougher while I write what I feel and how I felt, how emotional each experience, memory holds and it is in this space that I have to gather spiritual stability, to maintain that witness within me and let everything flow naturally.
We all face challenges and this book is one of them. I decided today that this book will be the last book of the trilogy, of which two books have been released already. It marks the end of the Master-Disciple relationship of Rahul and Hardev. Baba ji will always be my Beloved and it is Him that I seek all wisdom from. I want to see Him in everything and find that all ways are His beautiful ways.
Each day is tough in dealing with this loss and it never gets easy. What helps is the love and care that you get at home. I let out a lot of what I feel through writing and being in the present moment but what is experienced will always be empty and silent eventually. This emptiness will have His fullness and this silence will have His harmony. At the moment, I may be getting signs of it but He never lets any of His disciples down. All I have to do is be in synchronicity with Him.
My tears have been flowing as I remember how much He gave to me and what He gave can never be repaid for several more lifetimes but I have to repay it in this lifetime. This means I have to work several times harder to reach the goal that He gave us – which was to be enlightened, divine beings.
I will start writing tonight and all I wish for is that you all give me your good wishes and blessings.
Satguru’s love and blessings
3 months ago, a world that was full of colour turned dull, a life full of light turned into darkness in just one moment. All that remained was the observer in me – the watcher was untouched by the sadness and grief that struck my mind and my whole world was shattered. I didn’t know where to look, what to feel, what to say, what to do. I was lost in a world that didn’t make sense anymore. That is what happens when you have surrendered everything to someone – to a Spiritual Master.
After surrendering to Baba ji (my Spiritual Master) I didn’t have to think about anything in my life. I knew that it was in safe hands and still is despise His demise. I know that He has made sure my life will be comfortable and He must have given me all the strength to continue until my body decides that it has run its course on this Earth. However, there was certainly a sense of stability and comfort knowing that Baba ji was alive in His form, you felt safe knowing that if you had an issue then you could see Him. It was His approachability that made Him our everything and today, it is that very approachability that myself and others miss and seek.
My life has taken a turn where I am struggling to cope with this loss. It is no normal bereavement. It is one of excruciating pain where even the Observer, the Witness, the God within us understands the soul’s pain in losing the One who gave it so much joy, happiness and celebration. I always have this image of my soul crying, all alone in the universe, searching frantically for Baba ji. It is lost and doesn’t know what to do. I don’t think losing Baba ji is something I wanted so early on in my life.
How can I explain that God had showed me God? How can I explain that it was God that showed me how to be human? How can I explain to others that God had shown me how to become God Himself? And now this very God, the one we all worship regardless of our different paths had now left His mortal form. Can you imagine the pain of a devotee losing Krishna, Buddha, Kabir, Rumi and other Great Spiritual Masters whilst they were alive? You just don’t want to imagine it but today that imagination that I avoided is now my reality.
The only reason I am living is to write His praises, to write about how loving He was and to give the world now and in the future – the story of Rahul and Hardev. It is not that I want to die tomorrow or even right now. I don’t want to die until it is the right time but I can’t stop expressing the pain that I feel and it is not wrong to feel this pain. I have lost my breath and I am suffocating and drowning and I am only beginning to swim again. It feels like I have just been born again and have to start life all over again. This is not easy when you are left without the Beloved. I wonder if I trip or fall, will I be saved? Will someone pick me up?
As this struggling heart continues on the path towards liberation, I know that we have Satguru (Spiritual Master) in a new form and we have to surrender to Mata ji with the same zeal and enthusiasm that we did for Baba ji. It will have its own challenges but we can see through it. It does not mean we will not grieve for Baba ji, the tears will always flow and we will only be telling others about the legend of Hardev – the sweetest, caring and compassionate Guru. In a world spread with turmoil, suffering, hatred, intolerance and jealousy, we will know of a man that defied those values and became an embodiment of peace, love, humility, tolerance, forgiveness and compassion. We lived and walked alongside this legendary being.
His one smile was always something that we all longed for whenever He was going to visit us, wherever that may be in the world, but I know for sure that Mata ji will give us the same loving smile. She did this for me the day after Baba ji’s funeral. It was something that I needed and I also need that right now. I seek the glimpse of the Satguru to give comfort to the pain that my heart feels for my Beloved. As a devotee, I have full trust in Mata ji and all devotees of Baba ji have to support Her vision.
On the note of forgiveness, we all know that Baba ji had left His mortal form in a car accident. That is exactly what it was – an accident. The quicker that we can accept this, the better it will be for our own advancement. I have only seen this as an accident and have placed no blame on anyone. The point is that I knew Baba ji told us to think with a broad mind. We all say that a leaf cannot move without Satguru’s grace but have some of us just said it to meet our own egoic needs? Satguru does all and we cannot become judges of what happened and who should be guilty or not. I find it incredibly inconsiderate to do so. Baba ji only told us to love and forgive and if we cannot do that for our brothers, our family then what tribute can we ever possibly pay to the Satguru who sacrificed His whole life to put a smile on our faces. Those in the car are also grieving like we are. The quicker we forgive and welcome them in our hearts then we can concentrate on our own grieving process with the right mindset and focus.
Our Beloved Baba ji was overflowing with love for us all and we need to be the same. He wasn’t the best human being for His own praise, far from it. He wanted us all to be like Him – hold the same values and become those very spiritual values. We can never let go of the target He set for us, we have to remain focussed. I miss Him loads and I am struggling but the more I am the observer, the more I allow light to enter my dark world. The more I am in the present, the more I feel His love and presence. It is in the connection, focus and merging with the Formless that we see Baba ji again. Every day, I do meet Baba ji and I receive His love, I touch His feet and receive that warm embrace of His. This can be our way, and I need to surrender my struggle to Satguru Mata ji. I will trip and fall but She will pick me up. I will always miss Baba ji and I will still write about it because we are all sharing this grief collectively, but we have to at the same time, side by side, bring the message of Truth everywhere. And the message will always be in our thoughts and actions. Be aware, observe and be.
Thank you for reading. Please like, share and comment.
With Satguru’s love and blessings,
Some of us learn to meditate, we have done it for many years but there always comes a point when we feel that something is blocking any further progress. The thing with meditation, apart from its scientific and medicinal value, it is a spiritual practice that is about reaching a state beyond the body and mind.
I have always used the image of my Guru – Nirankari Baba Hardev Singh ji when I begin the remembrance of the Formless Truth. Remembrance is the next stage after meditation. Meditation clears the mind, remembrance goes beyond the mind. Meditation takes you to the boundless, formless state whilst remembrance allows you to become the boundless, formless state. Remembrance is simply knowing who you are and being who you are. When we seek to know our true nature that is meditation, when we seek and become that becomes remembrance.
The power of remembrance is moving beyond words and entering silence. When you know you are focussing on the Formless, you recognise you are in This and you are blessed. This is the blissful state that is only felt with remembrance. When you become that very thing that is always stable and still – when you remember that this is your nature then stability and stillness is your state whilst in movement.
Meditation comes in waves and you reach peaks and valleys. However, with remembrance you are able to be in this one state of rising above, you are the witness and observer. You are neither moved by pleasure or pain, happiness or sadness, differences of forms, by the nature of thought, by action or inaction.
What I am saying here is not about comparing. If you think this is comparing then it is ego. Many compare the difference and then drop one of them. If you want to enter the state of remembrance, meditation surely does help and can help you get to focus quicker. Use meditation to help you if remembrance is proving to be difficult. Whilst meditation needs to move to remembrance eventually as this is the next stage.
I still sit with my back straight, tilt my head back a little and allow my eyes to focus on the third eye area, sit cross-legged with my palm facing upwards whilst my forearm rests on my knees and this is something I learned during my meditation days. I carry this forward because it reminds me of the sacred space I am about to enter completely. Then I begin to enter the state of remembrance and lose all essence of myself and enter this formless state and be in complete being.
Remembrance is being both in movement – sitting, sleeping, eating, waking, walking, talking etc and at the same state be in the same state of the formless – still, free, boundless, love, compassion, blissful etc. This is the tricky aspect of remembrance. You have to live normally and do all the normal things but be still and blissful like a Sage, a Buddha or your Guru. This is the essence of spirituality that not many can grasp or understand. They cannot balance this because they have not become the formless state. They fear it because somewhere they have fear for something. If you want to enter the Formless and be the Formless then you have to be as mighty as a lion, fearless and determined to be completely free.
In this state of balanced remembrance, you will be able to fully function in your daily activities and be in bliss at the same time. This has to be the goal for anyone seeking enlightenment. There is no two ways about it. This whole process is made easier with the grace of a Master, a Buddha, a Sage. I was lucky enough to have a Master, who gave His kind grace and showed me how to meditate and be in remembrance of His true nature. The Spiritual Master is a mirror and reflects Your true nature and this is the beauty. Unless, we clear our vision so we can see this true reality, we will be stuck in just praising the Master but doing nothing about it. We have to be as the Master wants us to be. The disciple has to end the relationship between the Master and Disciple because their relationship has to go beyond all titles and labels into a state of unconditional love. This has to be the aspiration of the disciple.
The Grace of the Master with practice on remembrance makes the whole process towards enlightenment easier and we need to learn to be this Formless at all times. Settling for anything less isn’t good enough. Go beyond everything so you can be Everything.
Be in remembrance – when you know you are focussing on the Formless, you can observe and witness the Formless and converse with it. Then you recognise you are in this Formless and are protected by this Formless. Finally you are blessed because you are one with this Formless – the bliss and ecstasy you are witnessing and have become is the biggest blessing. And in this process, you may see your Master and seeing the Beloved Master is just another sign that the blessing has begun. And it surely has for me!
Try out being in remembrance and feel and become the presence of That which you seek.
Thank you for reading. Please like, share and comment.
Dreams are a fleeting shadow, that stays in the back of our reality and we feel content with the way things are.
I want to do a shoutout to a Visionary, an extremely talented poet and it is worth watching this video to your heart’s content. Prince Ea joins forces with Neste with this poem titled ‘Everybody dies, but not everybody lives’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ManC7UO0HeY and let me know what you think about it.
For the past few months, I have been contemplating my place as a writer. A writer that loves to explore aspects of life that not many want to reach and like to reach. To access parts of my mind that I never explored because I was not focussed enough or dedicated enough to discover. When you are in a 9 to 5 job it is hard to think out of the box and then videos like the above appear and you are like ‘WOW’ and you know that this box is breaking and it is breaking everyday. It is getting ready to shatter and my spirit can grow and expand in this vastness known as art. Then I am dragged down to the Earth even though I hadn’t even started flying and my mind tells me that someone has to pay the bills, you are starting a family of your own and all of life’s pressures start crushing those ambitions. The thing is bills, family and anything else do not crush the ambitions, it is just they are easy excuses to support lack of action.
My journey as a writer has started when I was 19 years old and the decade is approaching. Yes, I feel I have developed and found my own voice. I feel that something great is happening in my life as I share more. I want others to know that they are the reason behind everything I write because sharing isn’t great if it is just for yourself. Sharing means that every single thing I write, I am giving a little bit of myself away to you. I want that energy to be with you when you feel down, or you have some sort of creative block or things just aren’t going the way you want it to. That is life and that will happen and you just got to know that it is okay. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it isn’t a train that will run you over, it is the light of your inspired heart that awakens once it knows that you are here in this moment. Your soul is shining and it wants to express the beauty of life. That is what it feels like for me every morning.
In the past 9 years, I have been a believer in God to a non-believer and then a knower, believer and becoming this One energy that people call with many names. You see, that is my evolution and all of those beliefs, no matter how limiting, were right because it is helping me now and what I am right now will be right as I continuously evolve and evolve. This is my choice and that is the beauty of choice in itself. You can pick what will give you a heart and you will be compassionate. You will be focussed yet your vision is expansive. This is the hallmark of a real visionary. You have one message and only one message, yet you will find diverse ways to express it. The choices we make, the decisions we make will shape what we want and we can choose what shape that will be. Either we can shape it with sharp edges so it hurts others or we can give it the shape of hills, things will go up and down but our support will be constant. However, one thing that I always feel is that sometimes if you do not support something, do not be afraid not to. Think of your own humanity and go with that flow because what may look wrong to others right now may be the right thing in the long run. Stick with your gut feeling and it will take you places. Risks aren’t meant to make you feel safe, they are meant to bring you to adventurous and wondrous places. Explore the risks and remember the cause to create a better humanity is the call of the human spirit.
This video has inspired this post and I want others to feel inspired to action too. I have a long way to go as a writer and I want to thank you all for being there for me even when the going was tough.
His love and blessings,
We all face a certain situation where we feel that we have been treated unfairly or we know of others who have been treated unfairly. We find corrupted leaders who are able to place corruption charges of those that are ‘below’ them or accuse them of crimes, which they themselves commit. Such hypocrisy is there and it is up to us to do something about it.
When you expect someone that you respect breaks your trust, could be a person in your own family, could be a friend or a role model and they turn their back on you then what do you do? If you are treated disrespectfully, is it right to fight back? Is it right to be angry? Is it right to be violent in such situations? What should one in such a situation?
The easiest thing always looks like the most difficult thing to do. The easiest is to forgive the fool. Now you may be thinking how is that possible, especially when you have been wronged but that is the best form of retaliation. On top of that, you keep silent with them and you do whatever is necessary to bring justice. If a person is famous for something, show what they do as an opposite for what they are famous for. Another one is to forgive them openly, and if they don’t respond to that then they surely will look foolish to the intelligent amongst the crowd.
You see a lion only needs to roar once to indicate that the presence is truly there. You don’t have to be a dog that barks at anything and everything – that is a quality for something else. A lion decides when it is best to prey for righteous action and that which does less harm.
I have a friend, a close friend who is in such a situation and cannot speak out. This post is rather vague in the context but what I am trying to say here is that take whatever comes your way but never lose your righteous spirit, your spirit to do good and inspire good. The corrupt never win because truth always prevails. Truth always wins and will be victorious. All it requires is humility, love and compassion. If these are the driving forces for action then you will do the most damage to what is bad and unruly. However, this is not damage in a destructive and evil way but damage in the sense that the world cannot cope with evil for too long. We see that the basic humanity within us all starts speaking and, therefore all good action grows and has the snowball effect.
If you feel that life is drowning all hope, if you feel good isn’t winning for you, if you feel that bad people look ‘holier-than-thou’ but are in fact manipulative and conniving, then do not lose your values in exchange for their vices. Another person’s vice cannot be defeated by your own vices. It is by your virtuous nature, rooted from your humanity that finds ways to let the Truth highlight what is false.
Do not give up. The sun always shines whether it is day and night. In the day, the one Sun lights up the sky but it is the millions of Sun’s that light up the night sky. Truth works faster in darkness because then it is a group working together – and that is why they are called stars!
I remember speaking to a manager
She didn’t approve of a management style of
another manager who managed me.
She told me a simple thing
And it should apply to everyone
‘Do not become a mood hoover!’
It got me thinking alot
We all have bad days at work
Sometimes it becomes overwhelming
It can get the better of us
But why let it get the better of us?
We are incharge of our own lives
Why should our state of mind
Be at the will of others?
Yes, if you must show emotion at work
Do that and don’t hold back.
If you can look at the situation objectively
Then right course of action is taken.
If no answer is coming to you
Then simply do not react,
Otherwise something that is a molehill
Will undoubtedly take shape of a mountain.
The worse thing is when you come home
Or you go to see your friends
And you act all moody and down.
We all have our troubles and problems
Nobody is exempt from experiencing this.
Begin to understand the nature of your feelings,
Understand how your energy passes into a room.
A wise man once told me personally that
Are you that person who enters a room
And people stand up to leave? Or
Are you that person who enters a room
And the room lights up with joy?
If you cannot find happiness in yourself
If you cannot find joy in yourself
You will NEVER find it in another.
That person will become a reflection
Of what your state of being truly is.
When you come back from work
Meet others with a grand smile.
Give them positive energy
Because when their times are tough
You may be the only hope they have
The only thought they will possess
When they feel overwhelmed.
Sometimes I sit alone, this can be when I am in a crowded place too with people I know and I am conversing with them. Imagine that?! Feeling alone is the best feeling ever. When you see yourself disconnected from everything yet so connected that even nuances and subtleties are observed.
Sometimes sitting down alone, actually alone with just me is the greatest form of liberation. Why? I don’t like giving attention to those things that do not need it. I am not over-sensitive to the way people react to me aslong as I remember that it is not ‘me’ who they are speaking to but simply a projection of their own brilliant imagination. This all changes when you see Reality as it is, it becomes second nature to know that the projection is hiding the real face. This is what Truth brings to you. It gives you Reality. It gives you what feels and is experienced as Real.
Sensitivity is a must but not at the expense of your own emotions or taking offence to tiny matters. Being sensitive to life is very different to being sensitive to the whole drama that we seem to believe is life. Being sensitive to life means that you are in totality with it, you enjoy every bit of life. Every information is decoded into the Reality that is to be seen and you feel that connection to the One that created it all. However, being sensitive to drama simply means that a situation occurs and you make it a massive deal. Instead of trying to understand, you fall straight into the emotional turbulence and you are rocking to and fro creating havoc not only in your mind but definitely in others.
If you realised that you are responsible for how you feel. If you can accept that everything you feel is because of you then you will enforce a transformation. But who is willing to take this responsibility? Who really wants to take the blame for the idiocy and stupidity? It has to be a stroke of madness added with a sprinkle of genius to say ‘I am responsible for how I feel and for what thoughts I allow to run wild in my mind.’ When you accept this then transformation is waiting for you. Not mere change. Change is temporary and transformation is permanent. If you want the solution to be everlasting then choose transformation. But if you love putting unnecessary drama in your life and in the life of others then choose change because that way your idiocy and stupidity can be hidden very well.
We all have a choice and I must say that when I took responsibility for what I felt – solutions appeared without me having to do any background work. It is easier to accept that one was wrong. It is not a moment to feel guilty. Again, feeling guilty is just another way of attention seeking! Move on. Once you accept that you are in charge then that will be the last time you will ever recognise ‘you’ as the personality. You will become something larger than life and that is really what life is all about.
His Love and Blessings