In a reflective mood tonight,
To check where I am at the end of 2016,
Another year has whizzed by,
With it blessings and losses,
The blessing is my marriage,
The loss is the Guru that I loved more than anything,
Snatched away in a moment,
Without a glimmer of hope of survival,
The One whom I still feel is alive
Would appear lifeless in the month of May.
I want to say that this year has been great,
But that would be a lie,
The aloneness I feel is not ordinary,
It seems like I have been forced into it,
I have had the aloneness look at me,
And I give in to it and the darkness is embraced.
Then I have a beautiful wife,
Who is like an angelic light
Who whispers to me that I am never alone,
And I smile and feel okay on the surface,
With the Light entering the roots of my mind eventually.
The tears that I shed contain my sadness and happiness,
The joys of being with someone who reminds me of Him,
Then the sadness of realising He is no longer here,
Although the presence of our Satguru is everywhere,
It can never be destroyed or even created,
It is transferred in every moment,
From one cell to one universe,
It is difficult to not be able to hear a response,
To have a hug and forget my troubles,
To have that one glance where our eyes meet,
I will know in that instance that God is here,
And I miss this interaction more and more everyday.
I may be lost today and trying to find my feet,
I may try to live in a reality where You are here,
Baba ji, it is not easy being without You,
For me a Guru is never born nor dies,
That is why I cannot understand this ‘death’,
You are aliveness and Fullness,
You are Formless and Boundless,
You are the Soundless Sound,
You are the Gateless Gate,
In 2017 this is what I need to reawaken,
I know where I am failing,
And that is where I will be picking myself up,
2016 has been a lesson not a defeat,
And 2017 will be lessons learned.
I look at the picture of my Satguru, the Enlightened Teacher that has transformed my life and I can’t thank Him enough for all He has done.
His words although said in a simple way, once you get thinking about it, they enter a depth you never saw in the first instance. Is my Satguru misunderstood? Maybe. Do I understand Him? Not enough.
I have a close bond with Him and it is not because our families are close. It may have a part to play and I acknowledge that. However, what is the real relationship?
I am not shy to say that I have realised the Formless by the True Knowledge that my Satguru has given to me. This True Knowledge, known in sanskrit as Brahm Gyan, opens up your mind and body to accept the soul as the driver of your life. The Soul, the Eternal Witness realises that it is no longer the body and mind. It realises that it is a part of everything and everyone. Therefore, this ‘I’ that says it is realised is not of the mind or body and therefore does not belong to Rahul.
If I die today, I am liberated because my eyes have seen the true form of my Satguru. I know that He is not the body and mind but He is the very energy that I worship. The Supreme Consciousness that we can call God, that is Him. He is no less to that.
I am always asked that ‘What is the point of a Guru, if you have realised the Truth. If He tells you to worship the Formless, then why do you worship a form (Satguru) still?’ It is a very profound question and I’ve spent time answering it in many ways.
However, today I have a different take on the question. If I worship the Formless, I worship the Form the Formless has taken to reveal Himself. I worship that Form, who is a mirror and says to me that I can be like Him because I am Him. Without that Form of the Satguru, I wouldn’t know the Formless, I wouldn’t be able to perceive nor see the Formless, nor could I ever have a conversation with Him.
The fact is that the Guru does not need me but I need Him. I need Him when my faith falls because He shows me that it hasn’t fallen. You know why? He is always holding my hand, saving me from falling. He walks an extra step to remove any obstacles in my path so I do not trip up.
After realisation, it is hard to function in the world and this is where the Satguru is the most helpful. If you truly listen to Him, be connected to Him, have gratitude for Him, He will let your feeling of enlightenment not overwhelm you. It will allow you to stay alive because I have the same desire that He has. We have a world to protect and a humanity to keep alive. A humanity that is enlightened with the beauty of diversity. The Union between me and the Formless, the Union between me and the Satguru has united me with everything and I see it all as my own.
If you have a Guru, I would be honoured to read your experiences.
His blessings and love,
Once the Guru says something, do I take it with a pinch of salt and continue with my own way? Or do I take a moment to think and act accordingly to as the Guru prescribes. We read in our scriptures, in stories like the Puranas of devotees who acted simply at the hint of the Guru. We hear of the Guru celebrating them with great happiness but with a hint of sadness too as there may not be a devotee even similar.
The path that the Guru prescribes is never easy because it is allowing someone else to have the power over your thoughts and actions. Now for a lot of people this is difficult because the illusion is that they are in power. People even struggle with the fact that there can be a Guru. It isn’t a difficult concept either. Just like we have teachers in education, we have Gurus for spirituality. They have something above the typical teachers we see. A Guru is able to impart knowledge aswell as show their students how to live and implement it.
The Guru can be seen as an object of worship and devotion. Every morning that I wake up, I may not be anywhere near my Guru but I place my head at His feet. I have His blessings and whenever I need uplifting, I can close my eyes and place my head at His feet and feel His hand placed on my head and feeling the energy of the Divine power up the crown chakra. The Guru is the one that leads you to embrace the wordless, formless, beyond ideas and concepts, that which no thought can reach, no feeling or emotion can describe it or even feel it, it is beyond the comprehension of the mind, ungraspable by our intellect. This Truth that the Guru leads you to is everything you ever need. It is Fullness, it is Isness.
I can praise my Guru, have His blessings but I need to implement His teachings. Am I discriminating others on their language, age, nationality, sexuality, caste, religion, diet, dress and even their Gurus? Am I hurting other people consciously or unconsciously? Am I leading people to the Truth or am I taking them astray? Am I forgiving those who wrong me and do I ask for forgiveness from those that I wrong? Do I listen to others without judgement? Do I create conclusions of others before even knowing them? Do I feel greedy at any time, or selfish or even lustful? Do I pass all praise and criticism to the Formless? Until, I am able to say that I practice everything my Guru teaches, only then can I say He has blessed me. The problem isn’t that the blessings are not there, they are always here and now, but am I utilising them? Am I putting them to good use?
I do not want to be one of those that just shout empty slogans, make applauding speeches but little inner implementation in daily life, sing songs but feel miserable inside, recite and write poetry without an iota of experience manifesting in my daily routine and interactions with people.
It is time for some serious action and after listening to my Guru’s discourse this Saturday and again on Sunday, I feel I have a lot to do. If anything, I want to atleast be a reason for His smile. That whenever He hears my name, He smiles because I am committed to His cause and teachings. Commitment isn’t just a contract, it is actually living accordingly to the contract. And if I do not live according to the contract that I signed meaning the Divine Wisdom that my Guru revealed to me, then I am breaking the clauses in my contract. And let me add this, the punishment is simple – you do not live in bliss. What is the point of life without bliss?
Time for impactful action, less time for mindless reaction.
His love and blessings,
A vast, changeless, void that looks like nothingness or emptiness. An atom is 99.9% pure energy and what we see is really just 0.01% of the atom. The Formless Reality is everywhere and in everything. It is a state beyond nothingness. Nothingness cannot be nothing when you can observe nothingness. If an observer is present then that means there is an element of awareness within that nothingness. This element is what is formless – this is Nirankar.
David Bohm towards the end of his life had likened humanity to be the “mirror created by the universe to reflect upon itself.” What does this mean? Upon reflection, we can discover that if humanity is a mirror created by the universe to reflect upon itself then we know this isn’t far from the Upanishadic thought that Brahman created the world in order to discover Himself.
We live in an era where people place scientific thought to be based as truth rather than their own experience and documented spiritual realisations. This is where I feel people falter. Spirituality is considered just as ludicrous as dogmatic religion. Spirituality is about your own experience and the eventual realisation of why you are here. It is to discover the obvious fact which is that we are the 99.9% of the atom and the 0.01% is merely our physical forms that we see with our limited perceptions. How can we human beings with our limited minds be able to understand a complex universe that can do whatever it wants at any given time? We are at the will of the Universe or the 99.9% and we think the 0.01% with it’s limited apparatus can understand and measure the vastness of the Formless? This is madness.
The vastness of the Formless is beyond any words expressed here. It contains so much love that intensifies within every moment. Love is beyond every dimension and it is within every dimension. The purpose of the whole universe, the whole reason behind it realising itself is out of pure love.
Time fails in front of IT as this is Infinite. It is timeless. It goes beyond time. What is time? The future and past are both in the present and therefore there is nothing as past. It is one time at every given time. A moment is an eternity. How can Formless Energy be given the parameters of time? In fact, how can the Formless be measured? It cannot be measured. The only apparatus you have is your self and when you realise your self then you are one with the Formless. Then you feel the Formless Nirankar. Nirankar means formless. You and the Formless are unified and bind together. You both expand as one. When the walls are broken down, the bridge towards wisdom and clarity appears. This is when our heart opens up to devotion to the Formless. Our dancing becomes the dance. Our singing becomes the song. Our writing becomes the poem. Such is the experience when the Formless enters our consciousness. In fact, it does not enter your consciousness, it IS your consciousness.
The endeavour of all spiritual discovery is to live in the Light of the Formless, to live in the energy of the Formless. To accept the grace of the Formless and enjoy the blessing that showers upon the soul. The challenge in life is not about remembering the Formless, the real challenge is living as the Formless. People are doing this and I bow to them. They are blessed and they keep blessing me. I am humbled by the One who imparted this Divine Wisdom to me as it led to my realisation.
This realisation is the best thing. Nirankar, the Formless is the love of my life. I cannot trade this wisdom for anything as nothing can ever be valued against This. The realisation has allowed me to travel to dimensions untouched by the limited human mind, it has allowed me to travel through time to timelessness, it has allowed me to perceive matter as it is. It has allowed me to expand into this Vast Void and then dissolve into it so that only the Formless remains.
Nirankar is not nothing, it is everything!
The moment I hear his voice, my whole world comes to a standstill, now it is only me and Him and that is all that matters. My Guru is my life, my soul, my everything. It is a relationship unlike any other. One way or another, we have relationships that expect and the expectations are impossible to meet. My Guru just expects me to realise who I am and the rest will follow.
What is special about my Satguru? Satguru means the teacher that leads you from darkness to light. He is modern, communicates with modern technology, understands that the future generation have a chance to change things, he is attentive to every detail and yet is able to be completely present. Some will see this and be like well there is nothing special about this. I would ask them try for 5 minutes to be aware of this present moment and see if you can? Most likely, they cannot pass one minute, yet my Guru practices this every day and doesn’t take this as an act to be done but an action that is continuously occurring.
A Guru is not someone that dictates things to you. He is a guide, and it is with His love and compassion that you feel comfortable in confiding in Him and trusting Him with your deepest issues. Issues that family cannot understand, friends will choose not to understand and yet, He will listen with great attention and with infinite compassion. This gives hope to me that one can achieve this state. A Guru doesn’t tell you that He can do something that you can’t. A Guru tells you that you can do everything that He is doing. It is simply surrendering the ego and entering the awakened vision. A vision of non-judgment, a bridging of all matter in the thread of oneness and non-duality. Diversity is found in unity and unity is found in diversity. This is the vision a Guru gives you.
It is not transmitted and yet it is. You still have to work for it but something clicks within you and then the heightened awareness appears. Once this occurs then the Guru’s grace descends and His blessings are fully emitted as you see the Formless. The Cause of all Creation, we call Him – Nirankar.
I cannot explain in mere words what a Guru can do for you. If you do approach a genuine one and I feel I have. He is genuine, humble, kind and extremely likeable. He is down to earth but His wisdom reaches the farthest star. I know people say that this could be my feeling but I say why not meet Him? Why not try to get to know Him? Much is misunderstood in the Guru-disciple relationship and only a perfect Guru can eliminate all doubts and delusions.
We all say we are willing to be adventurous but the real adventure is when the Guru shows you that self-realisation is through god-realisation. Having god-realisation, you may find oneness between you and Him but there will still be a subtle difference. You may realise God and that is great but even greater is allowing God to present Himself in your Self. Your True Self. Then Oneness becomes Isness. This Isness is the Guru’s blessings.
Today we have a problem of epic proportions! That is concentration or attention. There must be always something to do.
Imagine you had a day off. You will go shopping. Or you will watch TV, watched it for 10 minutes so let’s flick over to a new channel. Or let’s go on my phone, download apps, delete apps, go on apps, flick through them every ten seconds. Facebook…like…like…comment. Twitter..tweet…read…tweet…read. Instagram…post a photo….like photos…post photos…like photos. Oh, let me eat something! Confusion? What can I eat I am bored! Do you get the picture now? No! Okay, let me sit down and meditate. Do I look spiritual? Oh, meditation isn’t a spiritual practice so I can still be a cool atheist. Let me meditate…empty my mind…empty my mind…food….shark…Tesco…absence of thought but thought of absence of thought…shifting gears in a car…dustbins…porn. I give up after two minutes that seemed like two hours.
Concentration is a lost art. I say this with a sad face!
At first, I noticed this problem within myself. I used to sit in satsang (sacred gathering) and bring out my mobile phone and not take in what was being said. The problem was not my phone. It was me. Was I ready to admit this? Hell no! It is easier to blame my mind because I know I am not the mind. Oh wait! It is on loan to me so I am kind of responsible. This went on for a year and then I stopped. I realised that this wasn’t a problem that I had, this was going on around me. When we do anything and we do not focus with complete presence then sadly we lose whatever is being discussed. Sometimes, words can be heard but it is the essence, the feel of the speaker, the gestures, the expressions, the tone of the speaker that really hits you. Yet, if I am on my phone then am I taking that in? Is a text message or a whatsapp message more important? Can a phone call wait? Do I need to check that needless FaceBook notification? Do I need to check that email that somehow has passed the junk filter? I definitely do not need it.
If I was sitting in front of my Guru and He was talking to me and I just took my phone out, would that be disrespectful? Of course. We say that the Satguru is present in the Satsang, so if He is present and I am taking my phone out then that means not only am I ignoring Him but I am disrespecting Him too. Am I really seeing Satsang as a place to learn or has it become a social club?
When I sit in the Satsang now, away from my phone I can truly concentrate. I access the Formless, concentrate on the speaker without any distractions. I find that my mind does wander time to time and I bring it back to the present moment. I guide it with respect and a little love. If it is being a cheeky monkey then I give it a battering and tell it to behave. The thing is I have been trained to be in control of the mind and not the other way.
The question is how can I do this?
Start meditating. Start with 5 minutes and then every third day, go up 5 minutes. I only meditate for a maximum of 20 minutes and it is intense from the first second. My meditation happens whenever and wherever as the goal is to be aware that you are aware. Then start being aware of every action you do and you will feel the intensity of every action. It is beautiful and a great access to bliss and peace. You will enter great relaxation and the by product of this relaxation is that the mind wants more of it so it relaxes too.
The mind will go places. It will travel but your responsibility is to remain aware of this moment, the formless moment.
It is sad that we have lost concentration and it means that our sacred spaces have no space in our mind. This is sad. I encourage you that whenever you go to your place of worship, put your phone away, keep it in the car or leave it at home. Or avoid looking at it. It is important that we learn the art of concentration again or we will lose all art.
My life would be empty without poetry. It adds a certain dimension to my existence on a daily basis. Poetry isn’t always about the words but about the journey it takes you on. It is a journey that speaks of wordless wisdom, a speechless spectacle and a continuing wonder of the world around me.
There was a time when poetry was there for my pains. Those were pains of growing up. Ditching knowledge for earthy wisdom that contained elements of the wisdom contained in the stars. It brings forth a great rush of meditation so that the soul within you becomes still. This stillness contains the mark of the Formless. Oh I love the formless! What would I be without Him?!
Poetry has a certain melody that only a silent person truly finds. Someone attuned to music can find poetry very easily and see the soundless sound behind it. Poets endeavour to try and put words to an experience that leaves them lost for words. It is very difficult but it is the best experience. I wouldn’t trade this for the world.
The Formless and Poetry are the two of the best things in my life. I cannot see my life without either of these two. They add certain dimensions that no other substance can come close to. The intoxication, the high that they bring cannot be found in the marketplace. Such is the wisdom found in the hidden depths of our being.
A little poem for you all to end this:
I do not know if I will love you tomorrow,
I do know that I love you right now.
Time and feelings are transiently flowing,
Love remains devoted to the Stillness.
The wondrous nature of this Vision,
I have made poetry my ambition.
An attempt to explain the Unexplainable,
A route to attain the Unattainable.