Uncles and Life Lessons

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I look back at all the blessings that I have received from my elders and younger friends and family and I always have a gentle stream of tears roll down my cheeks – out of gratitude and joy.

Recently, me and my wife bought a home and I was at my home, feeling this immense state of gratitude for all the people in my life, who have touched my soul with their presence and love. Their pure love has given me so much strength throughout my life. My present moment is beautiful because of all these great people.

Recently, I have been spending some time with my niece and she is a great lesson in being present and joyful. Her every need is catered in the moment, she isn’t anticipating a future nor is she contemplating over the past. She simply is. I was thinking of my own Uncles, who have each taught me something different and unique. One Uncle taught me to keep reading books, to always inquire about the Truth.He taught me how to always spend my life propagating the Truth. Some important lessons were ‘It’s nice to be important but more important to be nice.’ and ‘If God is knowledge, why not have it?’  One Uncle taught me to always be joyful and have a sense of humor. One Uncle taught me to always be there and supportive especially in difficult times (when my brother was in hospital, he travelled by public transport in the snow). One Uncle taught me that silence and serving guests with love is important. Another Uncle taught me to remain in discipline. One more Uncle has shown me to live life to the max, not to worry about anything and live authentically – simply transcend your own bullshit and the bullshit of others. I am talking about my Uncles only because I am an uncle to my niece and I want to show her this way of life. She doesn’t have to live the way I live, she is unique to her own self and I just want her to know that I am always there for her.

Learning and shaping who you are is what life is all about. Imagine that you yourself are a block of marble, all the thoughts, actions and intentions represent the sculptor and they will chisel away on that block of marble. The beauty of the sculpture depends on how aware we are of each thought, action and intention. When our life is full of joy, when our life is lived in the present moment then our mind is at peace. A mind in peace is a mind alert with awareness. This is the opportunity at hand.

As I continue to grow, as I continue to try and live a life of awareness, as I continue to explore the Truth, I am going to be changing a lot until that one transformation settles itself. I do find that transformation is occurring in the background of countless changes that are perceived.

The one thing that life will always show us is how vulnerable we are to death too. Two of my Uncles mentioned have passed away yet, something of them lives in the hearts that they touched and in a way makes them eternal. Each Uncle that I mentioned is an uncle that I have spent considerable time with and are related to my mum and dad. I have so many Uncles who are friends of my parents and it would be a very long post to go into each of the lessons that they have taught too.

One thing that is most important and that is to live authentically and allow your uniqueness to be. Nobody is perfect, nobody is without flaws and we have to understand this. In our relationships with others, we have our own expectations of how they need to be but let them be as they are. They have their own journey and their own growth and if they need your help, they will ask. If not, then you be authentic and promote authenticity. We live in the shadows of others, failing to see that we have immense Light.

The Past

Question: Is it possible to let go of the past?

Poem:

The past is not tomorrow,

Tomorrow is not the past.

Today is nothing but my day,

Live today without a tomorrow.

Live today without a yesterday.

Live now and melt in the present.

Allow the present to wrap around you,

Let compassion bring you warmth.

Answer: First of all, what is the past? The past is simply moments that you had lived. But the question is did you really live those moments of the past? Can you honestly say that the past is completely yours? It never is yours until you have complete awareness throughout each day. Love is always linked to the past. Everyone clings on to the past due to love. It keeps their hopes up of a reconciliation if they remember the past. The past relationships are always important as they teach us valuable lessons. But the love of the pasts tend to showcase our mistakes or our ex partner’s relationships. Don’t expect your ex-partner to own up to their mistakes. They may not see it as mistakes, which means they are bound to make the same mistakes again. Then there are people who learn and try to rectify their mistakes, they make sure that things improve in the future. Forget the future, they must concentrate on the current situation, the current moments. Completely aware of the ‘now’.

Sometimes, we do things by chance, or we take a leap of faith. Sometimes, it is living the past is what creates confusion. I always say that if you have someone that is willing to love you, then accept it. Accept the love. Accept the pure moment of it. Not many people have the opportunity to receive love. Even love is a very complex topic, let us say that the movies, novels, poems give you a false aroma about love. It is nothing like, he will do everything for you, he makes you smile, he makes you dance in joy, he makes your heart beat faster. This is just silly things. Love is a complete circle. It is something that is received, you cannot feel complete by giving love. You need to know how to receive it first. Receiving love is the most difficult aspect to do. It is the acceptance. Everyone believes the other has ‘bad or wrong intentions’, in fact it is your intentions that will bring all the force together to create the ‘bad or wrong intentions’. We must be open to love. We should not say no to it. Love is just a stage, it is not the complete picture. It is half a picture. The other half of the picture is hate. Where there is love, there is hate. They have to exist. In fact, the person you think is your true love is possibly the one you will hate the most eventually. The whole point of that hatred is that you also gave that same amount of love too.

So how does one transcend the whole dimension of love and hate. Then we must go a notch higher. We must look at compassion. Not the compassion that the priests and Gandhi talked about. The compassion in terms of the complete passion. Compassion’s definition in my words is very simple. Compassion is the continuous conscious passion. This is the last stage of ‘love’. That is true love. This true love is only attained, if you love who you are. If you love the person that you are, the person that you are completely aware of. You are aware of the passion. Passion is strong. It is very sexual but very sensual too. It is very sensitive. If you have someone that can give you compassion, they will be the best partners ever. Even if it is short-lived. However, those compassionate people, they know that the energy of love is within them first. It is them who share that passion. It is not really sharing either. It is something that can be caught. You catch it. It attached itself unto you like a sweet fragrance. Compassion makes you live in the moment. It doesn’t remind you of the past nor the future. Just the present. The present is called the present for a reason, it is a gift. You will never get it again. You must know what it is like to receive a gift. Those moments where you unwrap those presents. That is what it feels like when you live with complete awareness. Loving each moment.

The past should be forgotten. Especially the psychological side of it. Remember the facts but forget the feelings attached to it. If you love someone just the same today, right now, in the present then it does not matter about yesterday. Yesterday was a different day. Today is a new day. A special day is today. Yesterday is something you cannot change, it doesn’t have to affect your present and it will not, if you live in it today. Forget the future too, who knows if it will come. I wouldn’t say go for the safe option right now, go for the one that looks the most difficult. Take the risks. Love today not tomorrow. Be compassionate now not later. If you live in today, with compassion, with no psychological memory and with complete awareness then you can forget the past within seconds. It will melt in front of your own eyes.

Enjoy your moments,

Rahul N Singh