Remembering a friend…

Today, I was remembering a dear friend, my closest friend and who’s presence I deeply miss as each day passes by. How in one glance, all that I needed to say, was understood.

Sometimes, when I feel all alone, He is the first person that I think of and I smile in the sweet memories that I have of Him. Then an overwhelming sense of grief fills my eyes in the fact that He is physically no longer here.

It was beautiful to know that a human being existed that didn’t judge me, that didn’t make assumptions about me, that didn’t think the worst of me and I guess sometimes I wish everyone was like this.

His innocence that filled the room with love, His sweet nature made many rejoice and His absence gave meaning to a God that has lost meaning in the rising wave of material desires.

His silence filled a vacuum with an energy that buzzed, that tingled with grace and this is when God felt present in the human standing before me. Who could deny God whilst looking at Him?

Each day going by since He departed, has been difficult, each step more difficult than the last. I often wonder why I am still left here and then I realize that I am yet to complete the task that He gave to me.

Maybe we will meet again once the project of enlightenment is complete, then we shall sip on tea and eat digestive biscuits. I will be able to hear the melody in His voice and absorb His meditation contained in His silence.

Miss You my dear Baba ji, how I wish to tell you that your Rahul is nothing without his Hardev.

Poem: Reflection

reflection-017In a reflective mood tonight,
To check where I am at the end of 2016,
Another year has whizzed by,
With it blessings and losses,
The blessing is my marriage,
The loss is the Guru that I loved more than anything,
Snatched away in a moment,
Without a glimmer of hope of survival,
The One whom I still feel is alive
Would appear lifeless in the month of May.

I want to say that this year has been great,
But that would be a lie,
The aloneness I feel is not ordinary,
It seems like I have been forced into it,
I have had the aloneness look at me,
And I give in to it and the darkness is embraced.
Then I have a beautiful wife,
Who is like an angelic light
Who whispers to me that I am never alone,
And I smile and feel okay on the surface,
With the Light entering the roots of my mind eventually.

The tears that I shed contain my sadness and happiness,
The joys of being with someone who reminds me of Him,
Then the sadness of realising He is no longer here,
Although the presence of our Satguru is everywhere,
It can never be destroyed or even created,
It is transferred in every moment,
From one cell to one universe,
It is difficult to not be able to hear a response,
To have a hug and forget my troubles,
To have that one glance where our eyes meet,
I will know in that instance that God is here,
And I miss this interaction more and more everyday.

I may be lost today and trying to find my feet,
I may try to live in a reality where You are here,
Baba ji, it is not easy being without You,
For me a Guru is never born nor dies,
That is why I cannot understand this ‘death’,
You are aliveness and Fullness,
You are Formless and Boundless,
You are the Soundless Sound,
You are the Gateless Gate,
In 2017 this is what I need to reawaken,
I know where I am failing,
And that is where I will be picking myself up,
2016 has been a lesson not a defeat,
And 2017 will be lessons learned.

rahulnsinghpoetry