In a reflective mood tonight,
To check where I am at the end of 2016,
Another year has whizzed by,
With it blessings and losses,
The blessing is my marriage,
The loss is the Guru that I loved more than anything,
Snatched away in a moment,
Without a glimmer of hope of survival,
The One whom I still feel is alive
Would appear lifeless in the month of May.
I want to say that this year has been great,
But that would be a lie,
The aloneness I feel is not ordinary,
It seems like I have been forced into it,
I have had the aloneness look at me,
And I give in to it and the darkness is embraced.
Then I have a beautiful wife,
Who is like an angelic light
Who whispers to me that I am never alone,
And I smile and feel okay on the surface,
With the Light entering the roots of my mind eventually.
The tears that I shed contain my sadness and happiness,
The joys of being with someone who reminds me of Him,
Then the sadness of realising He is no longer here,
Although the presence of our Satguru is everywhere,
It can never be destroyed or even created,
It is transferred in every moment,
From one cell to one universe,
It is difficult to not be able to hear a response,
To have a hug and forget my troubles,
To have that one glance where our eyes meet,
I will know in that instance that God is here,
And I miss this interaction more and more everyday.
I may be lost today and trying to find my feet,
I may try to live in a reality where You are here,
Baba ji, it is not easy being without You,
For me a Guru is never born nor dies,
That is why I cannot understand this ‘death’,
You are aliveness and Fullness,
You are Formless and Boundless,
You are the Soundless Sound,
You are the Gateless Gate,
In 2017 this is what I need to reawaken,
I know where I am failing,
And that is where I will be picking myself up,
2016 has been a lesson not a defeat,
And 2017 will be lessons learned.
We all face difficulties sometimes and it can lead to hurt and pain. We never know how to deal with it. What would be the best solution, or even the route to a solution?
For me, my spirituality has never contained the element of having a conversation with the Formless. For me, the Formless is what can be called God, in fact it has many names but yet remains nameless. Without form and name, it presides everywhere and is within everything. This Formless is my support at this very time as I go through one of the toughest moments of my life.
This morning I woke up, and I do my 2 pages of morning writing, where I let my thoughts go wild on the page. It normally turns out to be like a journal but it helps keep a flow in what is happening within me. After reading this in the evening, my wife and I, meditate on the Formless for 10 minutes or so. It helps us get back into focus on what is happening and to be in the moment. It allows us both to connect spiritually and deeper than anything a verbal conversation can have.
This morning I felt I needed a bit more than meditation. I decided to have a conversation with the Formless. I just let everything out that was in my mind, I cried and felt the immense pain of losing my Beloved Guru – Baba ji. Whenever I was going through a crisis, He would have been the first person I would speak to. Sometimes, when I felt low, He would be the one to pick me up. Today, I felt in the morning that He was no longer here and I felt alone, deeply alone. My support that I had with His physical form was gone, vanished and would never occur again.
Then something remarkable happened. I felt His presence, I felt His caring nature and voice telling me that everything is okay and that I must keep faith on the Formless. I must accept and do as He wanted me to do. He told me that He had always been proud of me and that He had to leave for the collective. Those that had His personal attention will always be looked after by Him. All I had to do was concentrate on creating this relationship with the Formless. Whenever I would remember the Formless, He promised me that He will be there for me. The beauty of Hardev remains in the Formless. It’s about having a conversation and I felt the stress, the worries, the anxieties evaporated as His presence entered and I can feel it right now. I can feel His embrace, the one I have missed for over a year, finally enter my heart. This is all I needed to know that my faith will never falter.
When we go through problems, whether you believe in God or not, having a conversation with yourself, out open in the air may be a logical thing to do. Yes, it may look silly to a passerby but who cares? Your wellbeing comes first. You will be able to let your repressed emotions become expressed.
Speaking to the Formless is the real prayer. This Energy, which is Fullness will illuminate your life. All it requires is a little surrender. Letting go of your ego and mind and allowing the Formless to work wonders within you. The way to converse with Nirankar (Formless) is simply in the knowing that This Energy is here and now. Being aware of This, you are able to fully involve yourself into revealing your innermost feelings.
I know that somedays I may never get an intuitive answer but whenever I do, I will feel complete and inspired again. I will be full of positivity because my Beloved is always within me and His love can never diminish. It will continuously spread, evolve and reach every human heart.
Try it and have a conversation with Nirankar and see what beautiful pearls of wisdom arises out of it.
Satguru’s love and blessings
The one thing about being a writer is that even if you have moved on from something, you will be dragged back into that headspace. You always have to give an experience to the reader or the listener and to do this you have to give them the emotions that you had during the time.
As I look to start writing my poetry book based on my memories, experiences with Baba ji, my Beloved Spiritual Master, I know I have to go back in time and feel the exact pain that I felt then and still deal with the feelings I have now. This is the way I write my poetry and therefore, it is not necessarily that what I write is about how I feel right now but it can be about a feeling I had 5 years ago or 5 days ago.
This is going to be tough and it will get tougher while I write what I feel and how I felt, how emotional each experience, memory holds and it is in this space that I have to gather spiritual stability, to maintain that witness within me and let everything flow naturally.
We all face challenges and this book is one of them. I decided today that this book will be the last book of the trilogy, of which two books have been released already. It marks the end of the Master-Disciple relationship of Rahul and Hardev. Baba ji will always be my Beloved and it is Him that I seek all wisdom from. I want to see Him in everything and find that all ways are His beautiful ways.
Each day is tough in dealing with this loss and it never gets easy. What helps is the love and care that you get at home. I let out a lot of what I feel through writing and being in the present moment but what is experienced will always be empty and silent eventually. This emptiness will have His fullness and this silence will have His harmony. At the moment, I may be getting signs of it but He never lets any of His disciples down. All I have to do is be in synchronicity with Him.
My tears have been flowing as I remember how much He gave to me and what He gave can never be repaid for several more lifetimes but I have to repay it in this lifetime. This means I have to work several times harder to reach the goal that He gave us – which was to be enlightened, divine beings.
I will start writing tonight and all I wish for is that you all give me your good wishes and blessings.
Satguru’s love and blessings
Some of us learn to meditate, we have done it for many years but there always comes a point when we feel that something is blocking any further progress. The thing with meditation, apart from its scientific and medicinal value, it is a spiritual practice that is about reaching a state beyond the body and mind.
I have always used the image of my Guru – Nirankari Baba Hardev Singh ji when I begin the remembrance of the Formless Truth. Remembrance is the next stage after meditation. Meditation clears the mind, remembrance goes beyond the mind. Meditation takes you to the boundless, formless state whilst remembrance allows you to become the boundless, formless state. Remembrance is simply knowing who you are and being who you are. When we seek to know our true nature that is meditation, when we seek and become that becomes remembrance.
The power of remembrance is moving beyond words and entering silence. When you know you are focussing on the Formless, you recognise you are in This and you are blessed. This is the blissful state that is only felt with remembrance. When you become that very thing that is always stable and still – when you remember that this is your nature then stability and stillness is your state whilst in movement.
Meditation comes in waves and you reach peaks and valleys. However, with remembrance you are able to be in this one state of rising above, you are the witness and observer. You are neither moved by pleasure or pain, happiness or sadness, differences of forms, by the nature of thought, by action or inaction.
What I am saying here is not about comparing. If you think this is comparing then it is ego. Many compare the difference and then drop one of them. If you want to enter the state of remembrance, meditation surely does help and can help you get to focus quicker. Use meditation to help you if remembrance is proving to be difficult. Whilst meditation needs to move to remembrance eventually as this is the next stage.
I still sit with my back straight, tilt my head back a little and allow my eyes to focus on the third eye area, sit cross-legged with my palm facing upwards whilst my forearm rests on my knees and this is something I learned during my meditation days. I carry this forward because it reminds me of the sacred space I am about to enter completely. Then I begin to enter the state of remembrance and lose all essence of myself and enter this formless state and be in complete being.
Remembrance is being both in movement – sitting, sleeping, eating, waking, walking, talking etc and at the same state be in the same state of the formless – still, free, boundless, love, compassion, blissful etc. This is the tricky aspect of remembrance. You have to live normally and do all the normal things but be still and blissful like a Sage, a Buddha or your Guru. This is the essence of spirituality that not many can grasp or understand. They cannot balance this because they have not become the formless state. They fear it because somewhere they have fear for something. If you want to enter the Formless and be the Formless then you have to be as mighty as a lion, fearless and determined to be completely free.
In this state of balanced remembrance, you will be able to fully function in your daily activities and be in bliss at the same time. This has to be the goal for anyone seeking enlightenment. There is no two ways about it. This whole process is made easier with the grace of a Master, a Buddha, a Sage. I was lucky enough to have a Master, who gave His kind grace and showed me how to meditate and be in remembrance of His true nature. The Spiritual Master is a mirror and reflects Your true nature and this is the beauty. Unless, we clear our vision so we can see this true reality, we will be stuck in just praising the Master but doing nothing about it. We have to be as the Master wants us to be. The disciple has to end the relationship between the Master and Disciple because their relationship has to go beyond all titles and labels into a state of unconditional love. This has to be the aspiration of the disciple.
The Grace of the Master with practice on remembrance makes the whole process towards enlightenment easier and we need to learn to be this Formless at all times. Settling for anything less isn’t good enough. Go beyond everything so you can be Everything.
Be in remembrance – when you know you are focussing on the Formless, you can observe and witness the Formless and converse with it. Then you recognise you are in this Formless and are protected by this Formless. Finally you are blessed because you are one with this Formless – the bliss and ecstasy you are witnessing and have become is the biggest blessing. And in this process, you may see your Master and seeing the Beloved Master is just another sign that the blessing has begun. And it surely has for me!
Try out being in remembrance and feel and become the presence of That which you seek.
Thank you for reading. Please like, share and comment.
In the early morning of Friday 13th May 2016, at 6:00am in the morning, I was informed of some news that will break my world into pieces. Upon hearing about the death of my Spiritual Master, my Satguru Baba Hardev Singh ji, my world turned upside down and this incredible void, this vast void filled my world that once was full of positivity and meaning.
I know all about the theory of death and what happens, I know the theories of the soul and everything else but what I was not ready for was the death of such a loving, humble, caring and sweet human being so suddenly. Lovingly referred to as Baba ji, was a spiritual giant, ahead of His times and one who had a clear vision about what He wanted to see in the world.
I have been sitting up at night, wondering during the day of how to expose and get over this grief effectively. How can I recover from the pain that this death has caused me? I know that the only way is to write and therefore, I am putting all my writing projects on hold and will work tirelessly on a new project. This will be about my journey as I go through this grieving process. Here in this moment, theories are put aside and I want to let out the pure human emotions and explore this.
I don’t know when this book will release or what it will entail but it will be my gift to His message. The death of Baba ji is not about the body going, it is about the message that He gave that was unheard. We thought we heard sounds through a microphone but really we had muted His words so we can live as we wanted to live. We were happy with causing pain to others, playing politics, having our own agendas and we felt that just because we said He was our Guru, it meant that we accepted His message.
I feel this void right now, I am struggling to connect spiritually and I feel absolutely lost. But this is what Baba ji told me to always do, be creative. There must be something in this and I will write to my heart’s content to revive those feelings again that made me love life so much, that love that filled my life with bliss and joy. Bliss and joy is still there but it seems my mind doesn’t want to accept it. My mind is grieving a personal loss through an extreme tragedy. He shouldn’t have taken Himself away from us like this but how can I question and even scold the amazing man, who did His best and more than His best to awaken us all out of slumber.
This was only a post to announce this new project and I pray to this Formless Nirankar that I may channel all my pain and grief into inspiration and hope. May this book also help others who have lost a Guru, it doesn’t matter which Guru you have, losing a Guru is something we can relate too and this relating will bring about spiritual harmony.
The one thing I want to add is that I am happy that Baba ji gave us a successor to this Mission. Her Holiness Satguru Mata ji is now the one that holds the key to the Divine Wisdom (Brahm Gyan) that gives enlightenment to any seeker. My salutations at Her holy feet and may I serve Her just like I served Baba ji and also exceed that too.
Dreams are a fleeting shadow, that stays in the back of our reality and we feel content with the way things are.
I want to do a shoutout to a Visionary, an extremely talented poet and it is worth watching this video to your heart’s content. Prince Ea joins forces with Neste with this poem titled ‘Everybody dies, but not everybody lives’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ManC7UO0HeY and let me know what you think about it.
For the past few months, I have been contemplating my place as a writer. A writer that loves to explore aspects of life that not many want to reach and like to reach. To access parts of my mind that I never explored because I was not focussed enough or dedicated enough to discover. When you are in a 9 to 5 job it is hard to think out of the box and then videos like the above appear and you are like ‘WOW’ and you know that this box is breaking and it is breaking everyday. It is getting ready to shatter and my spirit can grow and expand in this vastness known as art. Then I am dragged down to the Earth even though I hadn’t even started flying and my mind tells me that someone has to pay the bills, you are starting a family of your own and all of life’s pressures start crushing those ambitions. The thing is bills, family and anything else do not crush the ambitions, it is just they are easy excuses to support lack of action.
My journey as a writer has started when I was 19 years old and the decade is approaching. Yes, I feel I have developed and found my own voice. I feel that something great is happening in my life as I share more. I want others to know that they are the reason behind everything I write because sharing isn’t great if it is just for yourself. Sharing means that every single thing I write, I am giving a little bit of myself away to you. I want that energy to be with you when you feel down, or you have some sort of creative block or things just aren’t going the way you want it to. That is life and that will happen and you just got to know that it is okay. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it isn’t a train that will run you over, it is the light of your inspired heart that awakens once it knows that you are here in this moment. Your soul is shining and it wants to express the beauty of life. That is what it feels like for me every morning.
In the past 9 years, I have been a believer in God to a non-believer and then a knower, believer and becoming this One energy that people call with many names. You see, that is my evolution and all of those beliefs, no matter how limiting, were right because it is helping me now and what I am right now will be right as I continuously evolve and evolve. This is my choice and that is the beauty of choice in itself. You can pick what will give you a heart and you will be compassionate. You will be focussed yet your vision is expansive. This is the hallmark of a real visionary. You have one message and only one message, yet you will find diverse ways to express it. The choices we make, the decisions we make will shape what we want and we can choose what shape that will be. Either we can shape it with sharp edges so it hurts others or we can give it the shape of hills, things will go up and down but our support will be constant. However, one thing that I always feel is that sometimes if you do not support something, do not be afraid not to. Think of your own humanity and go with that flow because what may look wrong to others right now may be the right thing in the long run. Stick with your gut feeling and it will take you places. Risks aren’t meant to make you feel safe, they are meant to bring you to adventurous and wondrous places. Explore the risks and remember the cause to create a better humanity is the call of the human spirit.
This video has inspired this post and I want others to feel inspired to action too. I have a long way to go as a writer and I want to thank you all for being there for me even when the going was tough.
His love and blessings,
The whole journey of being enlightened is something that we like to postpone. Let us get a good job first, let the children grow up, let me retire and then I can look at enlightenment. However, if we look at what the Sages said, the message is simple and that is that only this moment matters. Who knows when our life will end?
Why should I strive for enlightenment?
The need for enlightenment is a personal step one should take. It is up to me, up to you if you want to reach the highest state of being a human. Enlightenment has always been the next step for evolution. If we are to evolve then enlightenment is said to be the answer. It may be that we are cynical and we can say that it is all words but not a reality, however, the question is have we even attempted to go towards enlightenment before we just sweep it under the carpet? Have we even taken a single step towards knowing the Truth? The choice is ours to test it and experiment with it to reach a result and conclusion.
Enlightenment is exciting
The one single factor that makes enlightenment exciting and worth pursuing are that you get to see the whole world, the whole universe as One. In a world where people want to divide us in the name of religion, nationality, colour of our skin, our caste or class within society, the hierarchy in the workplace etc. isn’t it better to strive and see everyone and everything with the same non-discriminatory approach? It makes perfect sense to my mind. The mind that has itself created all these concepts, ideas and divisions would want to end its current paradigm for a vast , indefinable and formless paradigm. When labels were meant for recognition, we have instead taken a darker turn and it has taken the form of definitions . Once we have started to define them and keep them in a box then that is all we can think of – the box. It is like a frog in a well, the little he sees of the sky is what he perceives to be the whole universe. Until the water rises to the top and he is able to leave the well can he discover that there are infinite life-forms and therefore his vision is expanded. This is the true aim of having enlightened-thinking.
Fragility of life and time
Life is fragile and it can escape from our hands just like we hold sand in our hands, we watch it slide through with great ease. Life will leave this body with great ease but what remains is our soul. Some may believe or not believe in a soul and again it is just another word to recognise that awareness that has been the same throughout our life, that has watched us grow up yet has remained untouched by all the changes. I call that witness the soul. It is a subtle energy and it is part of the greater formless expanse. Once we know our soul and we realise we are not just this body and mind then we attain a unity with this Formless Energy. We only have this moment to realise it. No doctor will guarantee that you will live tomorrow. Nobody can say this for certain so it is best that the most important task as the Sages say must be done now. Once, we have attained this oneness with God or the Formless then we see the whole universe as our own.
Going beyond Darkness and Light
Enlightenment is all about leaving the darkness and entering into the Light. This does not mean that darkness will not exist. It will and that will be the battle between your ego and realisation. If we are in darkness then the Light will try to enter into our lives in many ways. One way and this is the quicker way is to find someone who is enlightened and receive wisdom or True Knowledge from this person. It is said in many scriptures that by staying in the company of those in the Truth is the quickest way to realise God and be enlightened. You see there is no difference between the darkness and the Light. The only reason we see a difference is because we are not united with either of them. When we are in darkness, we need the Light. When we are in the Light, we want to be in darkness as it looks an easier way to live. Such is our nature towards ignorance. However, once someone has become enlightened they see no difference between the Light and Darkness. They rise above and live a life beyond all descriptions. That is the nature of God – unaffected and unmarked and enlightenment can give us that way of life.
Enlightenment is now!
The journey is ours to take and all I can say is that for me – enlightenment is my number one goal or target. It is the purpose of my life and this is because my Guru (Spiritual Teacher) has given me a gift in which enlightenment can happen in this moment itself. All it requires is the audacity to think beyond my ego. Some say that you need many lives in order to be awakened or to know God but who knows if this is the very life in order for you to achieve it. If we are to take full advantage of being a human being, to reach the highest potential then enlightenment is the only way! Enlightenment is a happening in the now.