With Baba Ji – my journey continues…

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You can wake up in the morning, everything will occur as normal but something is missing, something just doesn’t feel right. That is how I feel everyday since my Spiritual Master left His body three years ago.

His kindness, His humility and His loving personality won many hearts and it definitely won mine. I spend time thinking about Baba ji, my Spiritual Master very often in the day. Whether it is a walk down the corridor, I think of Him and my eyes well up with tears. I am in the car and I look at the clear blue sky and a flash of His image appears in front of, obviously from my own mind, but yet a sign to say, nothing truly dies. I am sitting in my temple, and a thought that Baba ji gave is heard and my heart skips a beat, as if not knowing what to do with the thought that He is known in the past tense now.

He was someone where my spirituality began, where my spirituality continues and where my spirituality will one day end. He is my past, my present and my future. I haven’t loved anyone as much as I have loved Him and I know so many, that feel the same way with me.

The great thing about Baba ji was that He somehow was able to reflect however you saw Him. If you saw Him as a cool person, He was just a cool person. If you saw Him as a person you admire for His sincerity, that is what He reflected. For me, I was fortunate, very lucky by fate or my own faith that I was able to see Him as my Satguru, my Spiritual Master of Truth. For me, He was a God and much more. Maybe this is why there is a lot of pain in the physical loss as right now, I am in growing pains, I am trying to realize the subtle form of His that I know He had planted into me when I was initiated with His wisdom.

I have often said that I reached a peak of one mountain when He was alive and when He died, He took me from that peak and placed me at the bottom of the largest mountain one can ever perceive. For some, they may find that Rahul isn’t as spiritual as He used to be, he was calmer before, he didn’t get so angry but actually I have started climbing this mountain, which I literally have no map to guide me with except my own self. All I know and what I totally have faith and trust in is that I have to find the compass of the inner guru within me – sooner, rather than later.

I am now content in that I cannot change anyone, inspire anyone, or even truly advise them on their spiritual journey except for what I know and like I said right now, I don’t know much as I am climbing this mountain, of which I have climbed only a few steps up. So everyone literally has to bear with me here.

What I have learned is that these three years, which was literally about abseiling down the mountain of which, I had reached my peak. I had to take the valuable lessons and be thankful for they have taught me so much. Now the Master is going to advise me from within but the foundation of all that will be advised from now is literally from what I learned from my Spiritual Master before His passing.

All I now know and what I knew before was that it was all up to me. I had to have the faith and I had to be in charge of my growth. Nobody could take me there. I recall a conversation that I had with Baba ji when I was around 19 years old. We were walking at the Center for Oneness, West London and for some strange reason, Baba ji stopped walking and stepped inside as we were in mid-conversation. It was only me and Him. I poured my heart to Him and said “Baba ji, I am struggling. I am doing sumiran (remembrance) but I am not connecting. I feel my faith is weak.” Baba ji looked at me, smiled and in a quizzing manner. “Rahul ji, I don’t understand how your faith is weak when it is so strong?” I just stared into His eyes for a few seconds, my eyes moist, lost in His humility, His love and His mercy I bowed and touched His feet for around 10 seconds, to which when I was getting up, He was holding my shoulders and He gave me the biggest hug. As we pulled away from the hug, we both gave the biggest smiles to each other and we both bowed as I stepped away so another devotee could talk to Him.

This conversation changed the whole direction of my spiritual journey. I started questioning my whole belief system a couple of years later in order to get what I perceived as ‘weak’ faith into something so strong that it is unbreakable. However, a lesson I have learned recently is that I was in charge of my faith. I decide whether it is strong or weak and that whatever faith you have for yourself, is how much faith you truly have with the Master. If you feel you are incapable then the Master can do very little to change that because you feel incapable. However, you can feel incapable but you know your Master is with you, within you so now you are absolutely capable and this brings forth a very strong faith.

I have a lot to thank Baba ji for and He knows how much He means to me and nothing can change that. No philosophy, no teaching can change that. Like I said earlier, it ends with Him. We are meant to have full faith in a living Master, to which I absolutely agree with. Living is subject to one’s definition. Does someone have to be physically alive to be living? Or can someone be alive through consciousness itself -in a more subtle form? One of the rules of nature is that energy never dies but is transferred. All that has happened to Satguru Baba Hardev Singh ji on this day, three years ago was that the energy that was physical or gross matter became subtle matter.

This post has come from a lot of reflection with some meditation too. I don’t know if what I believe in right now will give me liberation but all I do know is that I know that is my destination. Thank you Baba ji. Love You and miss You! Your child forever.

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The Struggle continues

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3 months ago, a world that was full of colour turned dull, a life full of light turned into darkness in just one moment. All that remained was the observer in me – the watcher was untouched by the sadness and grief that struck my mind and my whole world was shattered. I didn’t know where to look, what to feel, what to say, what to do. I was lost in a world that didn’t make sense anymore. That is what happens when you have surrendered everything to someone – to a Spiritual Master.

After surrendering to Baba ji (my Spiritual Master) I didn’t have to think about anything in my life. I knew that it was in safe hands and still is despise His demise. I know that He has made sure my life will be comfortable and He must have given me all the strength to continue until my body decides that it has run its course on this Earth. However, there was certainly a sense of stability and comfort knowing that Baba ji was alive in His form, you felt safe knowing that if you had an issue then you could see Him. It was His approachability that made Him our everything and today, it is that very approachability that myself and others miss and seek.

My life has taken a turn where I am struggling to cope with this loss. It is no normal bereavement. It is one of excruciating pain where even the Observer, the Witness, the God within us understands the soul’s pain in losing the One who gave it so much joy, happiness and celebration. I always have this image of my soul crying, all alone in the universe, searching frantically for Baba ji. It is lost and doesn’t know what to do. I don’t think losing Baba ji is something I wanted so early on in my life.

How can I explain that God had showed me God? How can I explain that it was God that showed me how to be human? How can I explain to others that God had shown me how to become God Himself? And now this very God, the one we all worship regardless of our different paths had now left His mortal form. Can you imagine the pain of a devotee losing Krishna, Buddha, Kabir, Rumi and other Great Spiritual Masters whilst they were alive? You just don’t want to imagine it but today that imagination that I avoided is now my reality.

The only reason I am living is to write His praises, to write about how loving He was and to give the world now and in the future – the story of Rahul and Hardev. It is not that I want to die tomorrow or even right now. I don’t want to die until it is the right time but I can’t stop expressing the pain that I feel and it is not wrong to feel this pain. I have lost my breath and I am suffocating and drowning and I am only beginning to swim again. It feels like I have just been born again and have to start life all over again. This is not easy when you are left without the Beloved. I wonder if I trip or fall, will I be saved? Will someone pick me up?

As this struggling heart continues on the path towards liberation, I know that we have Satguru (Spiritual Master) in a new form and we have to surrender to Mata ji with the same zeal and enthusiasm that we did for Baba ji. It will have its own challenges but we can see through it. It does not mean we will not grieve for Baba ji, the tears will always flow and we will only be telling others about the legend of Hardev – the sweetest, caring and compassionate Guru. In a world spread with turmoil, suffering, hatred, intolerance and jealousy, we will know of a man that defied those values and became an embodiment of peace, love, humility, tolerance, forgiveness and compassion. We lived and walked alongside this legendary being.

His one smile was always something that we all longed for whenever He was going to visit us, wherever that may be in the world, but I know for sure that Mata ji will give us the same loving smile. She did this for me the day after Baba ji’s funeral. It was something that I needed and I also need that right now. I seek the glimpse of the Satguru to give comfort to the pain that my heart feels for my Beloved. As a devotee, I have full trust in Mata ji and all devotees of Baba ji have to support Her vision.

On the note of forgiveness, we all know that Baba ji had left His mortal form in a car accident. That is exactly what it was – an accident. The quicker that we can accept this, the better it will be for our own advancement. I have only seen this as an accident and have placed no blame on anyone. The point is that I knew Baba ji told us to think with a broad mind. We all say that a leaf cannot move without Satguru’s grace but have some of us just said it to meet our own egoic needs? Satguru does all and we cannot become judges of what happened and who should be guilty or not. I find it incredibly inconsiderate to do so. Baba ji only told us to love and forgive and if we cannot do that for our brothers, our family then what tribute can we ever possibly pay to the Satguru who sacrificed His whole life to put a smile on our faces. Those in the car are also grieving like we are. The quicker we forgive and welcome them in our hearts then we can concentrate on our own grieving process with the right mindset and focus.

Our Beloved Baba ji was overflowing with love for us all and we need to be the same. He wasn’t the best human being for His own praise, far from it. He wanted us all to be like Him – hold the same values and become those very spiritual values. We can never let go of the target He set for us, we have to remain focussed. I miss Him loads and I am struggling but the more I am the observer, the more I allow light to enter my dark world. The more I am in the present, the more I feel His love and presence. It is in the connection, focus and merging with the Formless that we see Baba ji again. Every day, I do meet Baba ji and I receive His love, I touch His feet and receive that warm embrace of His. This can be our way, and I need to surrender my struggle to Satguru Mata ji. I will trip and fall but She will pick me up. I will always miss Baba ji and I will still write about it because we are all sharing this grief collectively, but we have to at the same time, side by side, bring the message of Truth everywhere. And the message will always be in our thoughts and actions. Be aware, observe and be.

Thank you for reading. Please like, share and comment.

With Satguru’s love and blessings,
Rahul

Remembrance – the key to being who You really are.

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Some of us learn to meditate, we have done it for many years but there always comes a point when we feel that something is blocking any further progress. The thing with meditation, apart from its scientific and medicinal value, it is a spiritual practice that is about reaching a state beyond the body and mind.

I have always used the image of my Guru – Nirankari Baba Hardev Singh ji when I begin the remembrance of the Formless Truth. Remembrance is the next stage after meditation. Meditation clears the mind, remembrance goes beyond the mind. Meditation takes you to the boundless, formless state whilst remembrance allows you to become the boundless, formless state. Remembrance is simply knowing who you are and being who you are. When we seek to know our true nature that is meditation, when we seek and become that becomes remembrance.

The power of remembrance is moving beyond words and entering silence. When you know you are focussing on the Formless, you recognise you are in This and you are blessed. This is the blissful state that is only felt with remembrance. When you become that very thing that is always stable and still – when you remember that this is your nature then stability and stillness is your state whilst in movement.

Meditation comes in waves and you reach peaks and valleys. However, with remembrance you are able to be in this one state of rising above, you are the witness and observer. You are neither moved by pleasure or pain, happiness or sadness, differences of forms, by the nature of thought, by action or inaction.

What I am saying here is not about comparing. If you think this is comparing then it is ego. Many compare the difference and then drop one of them. If you want to enter the state of remembrance, meditation surely does help and can help you get to focus quicker. Use meditation to help you if remembrance is proving to be difficult. Whilst meditation needs to move to remembrance eventually as this is the next stage.

I still sit with my back straight, tilt my head back a little and allow my eyes to focus on the third eye area, sit cross-legged with my palm facing upwards whilst my forearm rests on my knees and this is something I learned during my meditation days. I carry this forward because it reminds me of the sacred space I am about to enter completely. Then I begin to enter the state of remembrance and lose all essence of myself and enter this formless state and be in complete being.

Remembrance is being both in movement – sitting, sleeping, eating, waking, walking, talking etc and at the same state be in the same state of the formless – still, free, boundless, love, compassion, blissful etc. This is the tricky aspect of remembrance. You have to live normally and do all the normal things but be still and blissful like a Sage, a Buddha or your Guru. This is the essence of spirituality that not many can grasp or understand. They cannot balance this because they have not become the formless state. They fear it because somewhere they have fear for something. If you want to enter the Formless and be the Formless then you have to be as mighty as a lion, fearless and determined to be completely free.

In this state of balanced remembrance, you will be able to fully function in your daily activities and be in bliss at the same time. This has to be the goal for anyone seeking enlightenment. There is no two ways about it. This whole process is made easier with the grace of a Master, a Buddha, a Sage. I was lucky enough to have a Master, who gave His kind grace and showed me how to meditate and be in remembrance of His true nature. The Spiritual Master is a mirror and reflects Your true nature and this is the beauty. Unless, we clear our vision so we can see this true reality, we will be stuck in just praising the Master but doing nothing about it. We have to be as the Master wants us to be. The disciple has to end the relationship between the Master and Disciple because their relationship has to go beyond all titles and labels into a state of unconditional love. This has to be the aspiration of the disciple.

The Grace of the Master with practice on remembrance makes the whole process towards enlightenment easier and we need to learn to be this Formless at all times. Settling for anything less isn’t good enough. Go beyond everything so you can be Everything.

Be in remembrance – when you know you are focussing on the Formless, you can observe and witness the Formless and converse with it. Then you recognise you are in this Formless and are protected by this Formless. Finally you are blessed because you are one with this Formless – the bliss and ecstasy you are witnessing and have become is the biggest blessing. And in this process, you may see your Master and seeing the Beloved Master is just another sign that the blessing has begun. And it surely has for me!

Try out being in remembrance and feel and become the presence of That which you seek.

Thank you for reading. Please like, share and comment.

His blessings
Rahul

My Satguru – Why I still need Him!

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I look at the picture of my Satguru, the Enlightened Teacher that has transformed my life and I can’t thank Him enough for all He has done.

His words although said in a simple way, once you get thinking about it, they enter a depth you never saw in the first instance. Is my Satguru misunderstood? Maybe. Do I understand Him? Not enough.

I have a close bond with Him and it is not because our families are close. It may have a part to play and I acknowledge that. However, what is the real relationship?

I am not shy to say that I have realised the Formless by the True Knowledge that my Satguru has given to me. This True Knowledge, known in sanskrit as Brahm Gyan, opens up your mind and body to accept the soul as the driver of your life. The Soul, the Eternal Witness realises that it is no longer the body and mind. It realises that it is a part of everything and everyone. Therefore, this ‘I’ that says it is realised is not of the mind or body and therefore does not belong to Rahul.

If I die today, I am liberated because my eyes have seen the true form of my Satguru. I know that He is not the body and mind but He is the very energy that I worship. The Supreme Consciousness that we can call God, that is Him. He is no less to that.

I am always asked that ‘What is the point of a Guru, if you have realised the Truth. If He tells you to worship the Formless, then why do you worship a form (Satguru) still?’ It is a very profound question and I’ve spent time answering it in many ways.

However, today I have a different take on the question. If I worship the Formless, I worship the Form the Formless has taken to reveal Himself. I worship that Form, who is a mirror and says to me that I can be like Him because I am Him. Without that Form of the Satguru, I wouldn’t know the Formless, I wouldn’t be able to perceive nor see the Formless, nor could I ever have a conversation with Him.

The fact is that the Guru does not need me but I need Him. I need Him when my faith falls because He shows me that it hasn’t fallen. You know why? He is always holding my hand, saving me from falling. He walks an extra step to remove any obstacles in my path so I do not trip up.

After realisation, it is hard to function in the world and this is where the Satguru is the most helpful. If you truly listen to Him, be connected to Him, have gratitude for Him, He will let your feeling of enlightenment not overwhelm you. It will allow you to stay alive because I have the same desire that He has. We have a world to protect and a humanity to keep alive. A humanity that is enlightened with the beauty of diversity. The Union between me and the Formless, the Union between me and the Satguru has united me with everything and I see it all as my own.

If you have a Guru, I would be honoured to read your experiences.

His blessings and love,
Rahul