This morning was spent on contemplating the changes that have occured in the last 4 years. A lot has happened in between and not only have things affected me on a personal level, but it seems the country, continents and the world at large has gone through a lot too.
In May 2016, when my Spiritual Master left His body, the brightest Light in my world had disappeared and I continue to miss His persona, His compassionate teachings and His understanding nature. My experiences with Him were always pleasant and one that moved me forward in my spiritual journey. In fact, it was having close contact with Him that truly helped. It was having the ability to discuss my ego and the way it would trap me and it often finished with a good belly laugh after recollecting the experience. When He would finally speak His one or two sentences, they would become pointings to guide me spiritually and they stood the test of time. I used to have a lot of questions too, I dare not repeat some of them here but He answered them gracefully and understood my doubts fully. He made space for me to deal with them. He never advised me to let go of my doubts but instead instructed for me to keep pursuing the doubt so I carried on learning.
I do believe that behind every doubt lies a great teaching. Doubt is like a veil that hides the Light of the Teaching. You have to use your hands to remove the veil, you must have faith that you will get to the Teaching. You simply cannot surrender and expect the veil to move by some hand of God. Therefore, it requires an element of strength and determination that one would work on delusions and ignorance so the Light faces no obstruction.
There is a gift that my Spiritual Master gave and the Spiritual Masters that have followed Him have continued to give – that is to show the way to the Inner Light of my atman (innermost essence). It is understanding that this innermost essence must be discovered daily, I must abide by it as much as I can and be aware of it as much as I can. This innermost essence is formless, shapeless, colorless, boundless, limitless etc.
4 years on with the continuous guidance from my Spiritual Master(s), I have found that this innermost essence is shining brighter whenever I focus and concentrate on it. The question is my availability to this practice. The ability is already given when one is blessed with Brahm Gyana (Knowledge of the Ultimate Reality). Even a minute spent available to this wonderful blessing is most beneficial. Yes, the Spiritual Master will always be the brightest Light and will be there to guide but it is us, as individuals that have to awaken that same Light within us. It is my delusion that this Light, that is the brightest ever just shines with one individual, when really it is within every being. To say it is not, I would be implying that the first spiritual sages thousands of years ago and the philosophy built upon their teachings till date is wrong. Day by day, this feeling grows stronger that each being is divine and all are the same One Light. All that is needed is the vision to see this Light within everyone and understand that no veil can extinguish it.