Jealousy has no place in any relationship

It is interesting at how you, the individual, is at the center of the world and then you are married/long-term relationship and the center grows, you have children and the center grows more.  Eventually, you realize that you are there to serve the others to support the center. However, what happens when jealousy and self-centered behavior creeps in? What happens to those relationships?

Jealousy is damaging in any relationship and sometimes we do not even realize how childish we can be when we moan about what other people are doing and why aren’t we given the same respect or why aren’t we invited to the same party etc. The resentment that grows ends up affecting our relationships and no matter how one may act in front of the person they are jealous of, the subtle energy of intention will always creep in, and the vibe is always felt.

When we are in a relationship, we do retain some individuality and that is healthy. We cannot be at the complete beck and call of the other. However, if we are so stubborn that we think the other person, our partner must do what we say and must act upon what we want them to do then that relationship will not last. It will decay and when resentment is felt once then it’s hard to get rid of them. Sometimes, the remarks we make about our relationships hint upon the resentment that is felt deep within. No matter, what someone may say on the surface, the words mention normally have an iota of truth.

Sometimes I joke around and my wife does get a little upset because my comments may portray a feeling that I have not expressed to her. She is damn right to be upset and I may try to pacify her with that it’s a joke but she knows jokes very well, especially mine. My jokes always have a deeper meaning to them. I have slowly learned that I have to express to my wife my feelings and it is hard for an introvert like me but I have got much better. If I need to address something then I will try and solve it that night but it’s always my wife that looks to resolve things before I do.

I truly look up to my wife because of the way she views things and even if I don’t agree with her (which I express), we always leave things on a positive note. The most important thing for me is to never make the relationship about me but about us and it’s easy to make it about me – my feelings, my intentions, my wants and needs, my desires and really things flow much more smoothly when I change the ‘my’ to ‘our’.

Even if our wants, desires and so on need to merge together, sometimes they simply will not and that is okay. It means for the sake of our relationship, it isn’t necessary. Frankly, the relationship comes first because our happiness is tied to it, yet free from it too.

Mentors

Having mentors is incredibly important and having had my fair share of mentors, I feel my whole life has been incredibly enriched by them.

It is not always about the lesson that you have learned but more about how you grow and evolve as a person from the lesson. If you have evolved then you know the lesson has benefitted you in many ways and you can continue to grow and enhance your life.

We all want a life that is holistically enriching and we can do this with the help of getting different mentors. You can have one for finance, for health, for spirituality etc. Making sure that you can make your life the best that you can is what will always make you wake up in the morning full of gratitude.

Choosing your mentors has to be a thought out decision because you need to make sure that your mentor will always be there for you to help you grow and see unique perspectives. When someone has your best interests first, you know that they are worth keeping in your life.

I have benefitted a lot from my mentors and some are not alive today, but they have helped me grow so immensely that I cannot think of my life without them. I have learned valuable lessons and this has allowed me to have a broad-mind, filled with compassion and understanding.

Mentors show you the path and walk along with you. This is why mentors have a great positive effect. They are not like role models, where images of their greatness can be shattered. However, a mentor is someone where even their flaws have something of great value about them.

I hope you have a mentor and let me know your experiences with mentors?

Stressful times – what do I do?

monochrome photography of person on dark room
Photo by Akshar Dave on Pexels.com

Today, my day was attempting to be stressful and there was huge pressure from work and I could just feel this cloud gover over me, ready to collapse at any time. Even though, the perception would be that the cloud is light, not this one. The cloud of stress is heavy.

In these times, I try to remain mindful, observe my surroundings and try and be a little bit positive. Even when it is tough to do so, I try not to stop smiling. However, that doesnt mean I just cope. In certain circumstances, when I have felt misused or taken advantage of, I end up looking for new opportunities.

The one thing that I do when looking for new opportunities is to make sure that I remain positive and optimistic. It is important that a sense of peace and happiness should be done in the search for new opportunities. The energy that we give out to our environment, is the energy that is most likely to continue. So if it is negative, negative will be the environment, positive and positive will be the environment.

I will not lie that today I felt like I was being crushed, overwhelmed and somehow thrown under the bus but I only allow that to happen if I accept that it is happening in my consciousness. Instead I turned those feelings to this is a challenge and opportunity to show my resilience and initiative.

I hope your day went well and share with me, how you have dealt with such situations.

It’s okay…

man in white shirt using macbook pro
Photo by Tim Gouw on Pexels.com

It’s okay to feel exhausted on some days, it is okay to feel that the whole world is resting upon your shoulders and it is absolutely okay to be overwhelmed. Sometimes, we are told that we need to think a little more positive, be a bit more optimistic and all we want to do is allow these emotions to live out their short-life span.

If happiness is our natural state, then like clouds across a blue sky, let the cloud of emotions pass by and the blue sky of happiness will appear. I believe the best way to ever deal with emotions is to be aware of them and be okay with it. As you know that ultimately nothing remains the same, all this shall pass.

We definitely have the power to overrule our emotions, we can smile when we have been uncontrollably crying at the kind request of a loved one. We know we have that capacity but all I really want you to know is that it is okay to let your emotions pass by and yes, your happiness remains untouched and unblemished. I know this sounds a little strange but what I am trying to express here is that sadness and happiness is separate and they don’t mix well. You can’t be in the middle. Some people say they are okay, neither happy nor sad. However, I still see this as sadness as it is an unrecognized place.

Let me know if you agree or disagree with me. I would love to know your views.