The Struggle continues

grief

3 months ago, a world that was full of colour turned dull, a life full of light turned into darkness in just one moment. All that remained was the observer in me – the watcher was untouched by the sadness and grief that struck my mind and my whole world was shattered. I didn’t know where to look, what to feel, what to say, what to do. I was lost in a world that didn’t make sense anymore. That is what happens when you have surrendered everything to someone – to a Spiritual Master.

After surrendering to Baba ji (my Spiritual Master) I didn’t have to think about anything in my life. I knew that it was in safe hands and still is despise His demise. I know that He has made sure my life will be comfortable and He must have given me all the strength to continue until my body decides that it has run its course on this Earth. However, there was certainly a sense of stability and comfort knowing that Baba ji was alive in His form, you felt safe knowing that if you had an issue then you could see Him. It was His approachability that made Him our everything and today, it is that very approachability that myself and others miss and seek.

My life has taken a turn where I am struggling to cope with this loss. It is no normal bereavement. It is one of excruciating pain where even the Observer, the Witness, the God within us understands the soul’s pain in losing the One who gave it so much joy, happiness and celebration. I always have this image of my soul crying, all alone in the universe, searching frantically for Baba ji. It is lost and doesn’t know what to do. I don’t think losing Baba ji is something I wanted so early on in my life.

How can I explain that God had showed me God? How can I explain that it was God that showed me how to be human? How can I explain to others that God had shown me how to become God Himself? And now this very God, the one we all worship regardless of our different paths had now left His mortal form. Can you imagine the pain of a devotee losing Krishna, Buddha, Kabir, Rumi and other Great Spiritual Masters whilst they were alive? You just don’t want to imagine it but today that imagination that I avoided is now my reality.

The only reason I am living is to write His praises, to write about how loving He was and to give the world now and in the future – the story of Rahul and Hardev. It is not that I want to die tomorrow or even right now. I don’t want to die until it is the right time but I can’t stop expressing the pain that I feel and it is not wrong to feel this pain. I have lost my breath and I am suffocating and drowning and I am only beginning to swim again. It feels like I have just been born again and have to start life all over again. This is not easy when you are left without the Beloved. I wonder if I trip or fall, will I be saved? Will someone pick me up?

As this struggling heart continues on the path towards liberation, I know that we have Satguru (Spiritual Master) in a new form and we have to surrender to Mata ji with the same zeal and enthusiasm that we did for Baba ji. It will have its own challenges but we can see through it. It does not mean we will not grieve for Baba ji, the tears will always flow and we will only be telling others about the legend of Hardev – the sweetest, caring and compassionate Guru. In a world spread with turmoil, suffering, hatred, intolerance and jealousy, we will know of a man that defied those values and became an embodiment of peace, love, humility, tolerance, forgiveness and compassion. We lived and walked alongside this legendary being.

His one smile was always something that we all longed for whenever He was going to visit us, wherever that may be in the world, but I know for sure that Mata ji will give us the same loving smile. She did this for me the day after Baba ji’s funeral. It was something that I needed and I also need that right now. I seek the glimpse of the Satguru to give comfort to the pain that my heart feels for my Beloved. As a devotee, I have full trust in Mata ji and all devotees of Baba ji have to support Her vision.

On the note of forgiveness, we all know that Baba ji had left His mortal form in a car accident. That is exactly what it was – an accident. The quicker that we can accept this, the better it will be for our own advancement. I have only seen this as an accident and have placed no blame on anyone. The point is that I knew Baba ji told us to think with a broad mind. We all say that a leaf cannot move without Satguru’s grace but have some of us just said it to meet our own egoic needs? Satguru does all and we cannot become judges of what happened and who should be guilty or not. I find it incredibly inconsiderate to do so. Baba ji only told us to love and forgive and if we cannot do that for our brothers, our family then what tribute can we ever possibly pay to the Satguru who sacrificed His whole life to put a smile on our faces. Those in the car are also grieving like we are. The quicker we forgive and welcome them in our hearts then we can concentrate on our own grieving process with the right mindset and focus.

Our Beloved Baba ji was overflowing with love for us all and we need to be the same. He wasn’t the best human being for His own praise, far from it. He wanted us all to be like Him – hold the same values and become those very spiritual values. We can never let go of the target He set for us, we have to remain focussed. I miss Him loads and I am struggling but the more I am the observer, the more I allow light to enter my dark world. The more I am in the present, the more I feel His love and presence. It is in the connection, focus and merging with the Formless that we see Baba ji again. Every day, I do meet Baba ji and I receive His love, I touch His feet and receive that warm embrace of His. This can be our way, and I need to surrender my struggle to Satguru Mata ji. I will trip and fall but She will pick me up. I will always miss Baba ji and I will still write about it because we are all sharing this grief collectively, but we have to at the same time, side by side, bring the message of Truth everywhere. And the message will always be in our thoughts and actions. Be aware, observe and be.

Thank you for reading. Please like, share and comment.

With Satguru’s love and blessings,
Rahul

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Remembrance – the key to being who You really are.

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Some of us learn to meditate, we have done it for many years but there always comes a point when we feel that something is blocking any further progress. The thing with meditation, apart from its scientific and medicinal value, it is a spiritual practice that is about reaching a state beyond the body and mind.

I have always used the image of my Guru – Nirankari Baba Hardev Singh ji when I begin the remembrance of the Formless Truth. Remembrance is the next stage after meditation. Meditation clears the mind, remembrance goes beyond the mind. Meditation takes you to the boundless, formless state whilst remembrance allows you to become the boundless, formless state. Remembrance is simply knowing who you are and being who you are. When we seek to know our true nature that is meditation, when we seek and become that becomes remembrance.

The power of remembrance is moving beyond words and entering silence. When you know you are focussing on the Formless, you recognise you are in This and you are blessed. This is the blissful state that is only felt with remembrance. When you become that very thing that is always stable and still – when you remember that this is your nature then stability and stillness is your state whilst in movement.

Meditation comes in waves and you reach peaks and valleys. However, with remembrance you are able to be in this one state of rising above, you are the witness and observer. You are neither moved by pleasure or pain, happiness or sadness, differences of forms, by the nature of thought, by action or inaction.

What I am saying here is not about comparing. If you think this is comparing then it is ego. Many compare the difference and then drop one of them. If you want to enter the state of remembrance, meditation surely does help and can help you get to focus quicker. Use meditation to help you if remembrance is proving to be difficult. Whilst meditation needs to move to remembrance eventually as this is the next stage.

I still sit with my back straight, tilt my head back a little and allow my eyes to focus on the third eye area, sit cross-legged with my palm facing upwards whilst my forearm rests on my knees and this is something I learned during my meditation days. I carry this forward because it reminds me of the sacred space I am about to enter completely. Then I begin to enter the state of remembrance and lose all essence of myself and enter this formless state and be in complete being.

Remembrance is being both in movement – sitting, sleeping, eating, waking, walking, talking etc and at the same state be in the same state of the formless – still, free, boundless, love, compassion, blissful etc. This is the tricky aspect of remembrance. You have to live normally and do all the normal things but be still and blissful like a Sage, a Buddha or your Guru. This is the essence of spirituality that not many can grasp or understand. They cannot balance this because they have not become the formless state. They fear it because somewhere they have fear for something. If you want to enter the Formless and be the Formless then you have to be as mighty as a lion, fearless and determined to be completely free.

In this state of balanced remembrance, you will be able to fully function in your daily activities and be in bliss at the same time. This has to be the goal for anyone seeking enlightenment. There is no two ways about it. This whole process is made easier with the grace of a Master, a Buddha, a Sage. I was lucky enough to have a Master, who gave His kind grace and showed me how to meditate and be in remembrance of His true nature. The Spiritual Master is a mirror and reflects Your true nature and this is the beauty. Unless, we clear our vision so we can see this true reality, we will be stuck in just praising the Master but doing nothing about it. We have to be as the Master wants us to be. The disciple has to end the relationship between the Master and Disciple because their relationship has to go beyond all titles and labels into a state of unconditional love. This has to be the aspiration of the disciple.

The Grace of the Master with practice on remembrance makes the whole process towards enlightenment easier and we need to learn to be this Formless at all times. Settling for anything less isn’t good enough. Go beyond everything so you can be Everything.

Be in remembrance – when you know you are focussing on the Formless, you can observe and witness the Formless and converse with it. Then you recognise you are in this Formless and are protected by this Formless. Finally you are blessed because you are one with this Formless – the bliss and ecstasy you are witnessing and have become is the biggest blessing. And in this process, you may see your Master and seeing the Beloved Master is just another sign that the blessing has begun. And it surely has for me!

Try out being in remembrance and feel and become the presence of That which you seek.

Thank you for reading. Please like, share and comment.

His blessings
Rahul

Priorities

Dreams are a fleeting shadow, that stays in the back of our reality and we feel content with the way things are.

I want to do a shoutout to a Visionary, an extremely talented poet and it is worth watching this video to your heart’s content. Prince Ea joins forces with Neste with this poem titled ‘Everybody dies, but not everybody lives’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ManC7UO0HeY and let me know what you think about it.

For the past few months, I have been contemplating my place as a writer. A writer that loves to explore aspects of life that not many want to reach and like to reach. To access parts of my mind that I never explored because I was not focussed enough or dedicated enough to discover. When you are in a 9 to 5 job it is hard to think out of the box and then videos like the above appear and you are like ‘WOW’ and you know that this box is breaking and it is breaking everyday. It is getting ready to shatter and my spirit can grow and expand in this vastness known as art. Then I am dragged down to the Earth even though I hadn’t even started flying and my mind tells me that someone has to pay the bills, you are starting a family of your own and all of life’s pressures start crushing those ambitions. The thing is bills, family and anything else do not crush the ambitions, it is just they are easy excuses to support lack of action.

My journey as a writer has started when I was 19 years old and the decade is approaching. Yes, I feel I have developed and found my own voice. I feel that something great is happening in my life as I share more. I want others to know that they are the reason behind everything I write because sharing isn’t great if it is just for yourself. Sharing means that every single thing I write, I am giving a little bit of myself away to you. I want that energy to be with you when you feel down, or you have some sort of creative block or things just aren’t going the way you want it to. That is life and that will happen and you just got to know that it is okay. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it isn’t a train that will run you over, it is the light of your inspired heart that awakens once it knows that you are here in this moment. Your soul is shining and it wants to express the beauty of life. That is what it feels like for me every morning.

In the past 9 years, I have been a believer in God to a non-believer and then a knower, believer and becoming this One energy that people call with many names. You see, that is my evolution and all of those beliefs, no matter how limiting, were right because it is helping me now and what I am right now will be right as I continuously evolve and evolve. This is my choice and that is the beauty of choice in itself. You can pick what will give you a heart and you will be compassionate. You will be focussed yet your vision is expansive. This is the hallmark of a real visionary. You have one message and only one message, yet you will find diverse ways to express it. The choices we make, the decisions we make will shape what we want and we can choose what shape that will be. Either we can shape it with sharp edges so it hurts others or we can give it the shape of hills, things will go up and down but our support will be constant. However, one thing that I always feel is that sometimes if you do not support something, do not be afraid not to. Think of your own humanity and go with that flow because what may look wrong to others right now may be the right thing in the long run. Stick with your gut feeling and it will take you places. Risks aren’t meant to make you feel safe, they are meant to bring you to adventurous and wondrous places. Explore the risks and remember the cause to create a better humanity is the call of the human spirit.

This video has inspired this post and I want others to feel inspired to action too. I have a long way to go as a writer and I want to thank you all for being there for me even when the going was tough.

His love and blessings,
Rahul

Post 97 – The Paradigm of Truth

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Confidence is something that grows with time. When we look at the situation we are in, we think of many faults and we think of how we do not deserve things, we have an inner hierarchy and we lose out on living in each moment.

For example, we all may believe in a higher being, we can call it God or Truth or a True Master (Satguru) and we always seem to feel smaller than these beings. I find this common in mainly religion and find it seeping in to spirituality. We belittle ourselves instead of looking at that which is higher and then attaining to it. We praise the highest order but we make ourselves at the bottom.

Now, there is a fine line here because one can turn around and say it is humility hence we say we are at the bottom. Humility simply means you see all things as One and Equal and you serve ALL in the same manner. That is humility. Humility isn’t when you put things in an hierarchy. However, the ones who have realised the Truth continue to tell us that we are Truth seeking the Truth and that is the Truth.

So today, what I am trying to say in this blog message is that you can realise your potential, which is God, which is Truth, which is the Satguru. Once you realise it then you are IT.

Confidence is something that builds up when we can be truly humble and be as strong as Truth. We can be as stable as Truth. The way to Truth may be chaos but once you go through all the trials and tribulations, you find silence, bliss and peace!

Attain it! It is Yours.

Call it enlightenment or whatever pleases you, you are all here to have a mystical Truth to lead a spiritual life that defines in words what religion truly is. This path may be for the few but the few can be made up into millions.

Let me put it in another way, Truth is an expression (Mysticism), Truth is a way of life (Spirituality) and Truth is an experience (Religion). You need all of this, so it is best to find your way to religion. Most people who claim to be religious or belong to a religion may not fit in my paradigm here but they now know the way to be religious!

Rahul

Post 95 – Knowing is the Only Way!

Hi readers!

Hope you are well.

I had a thought, can I call it a thought or shall I say revelation? Hear this out: ‘If you know the Truth then you don’t know. You can only be in knowing of the Truth.’

I probably could say the last sentence with greater clarity but I shall explain this a little now. Whenever, you come to a point and say ‘I know the Truth’ that cannot be the Truth speaking. It can only mean that you have given up knowing or desiring to know more. Instead, you have made the Truth a possession and you cannot possess the Truth. It cannot be grasped nor seen but it creates a great amount of intensity within you. It creates something intimate, where the feelings overflow into something magnificent. So the state of what is called enlightenment is the discovery of knowing. Knowing is everlasting, it is infinite and therefore cannot be grasped by thought. If it is, it creates memory and memory cannot be the Truth. Truth is always new, always fresh and pleasant as it is created from wisdom. Truth is freedom. Memory is distorted and can lead to illusion as it is base is knowledge or just mere words on a paper. Memory is a prison.

Therefore, meditation must be treated as a ground for inner enquiry and discovery. It is easy to say there is a God or there is a soul. But has this very discovery been your own? Never be comfortable with any idea. The Truth is never comfortable because it implies knowing which leads to internal growing. Remember, knowing is a verb, it is action. And to know really means you knew. If you know something today then tomorrow it may be something different. Therefore, this means you ‘knew’, you don’t ‘know’ it. You have to think about this. This might sound a little too intellectual but if you let this settle within you, enquire within you, be part of this whole discussion then something great can be discovered. Can you know God? Can you know the Truth?

I shall keep this post nice and small so you may think about it.

My love to all,

Rahul

Post 47 – The emergence of the ‘New Guy’…

“Apparently I am the sinner. I am the person that is wrong. I am the one that should be blamed. What do I do next?”

This is the question and the statements of what I call the ‘New Guy’! The ‘New Guy’ is the one that every girl talks about and wants. But hey, he is not going to be the girl’s so easily. Why should he? He needs to make sure his energy is worth being spent on a girl. The fact is this guy has had his heart, mind and body burnt thanks to the super bad ex! The ex that will remain ‘the one that broke me’ or as some guys say ‘the whore’! The latter is not a term I like to use but I can see the emotion behind it.

The emergence of the ‘New Guy’ had to happen. There are too many typical guys and unfortunately girls, no matter what, if you go after a typical guy, then your taste is very typical. So the ‘New Guy’ sees this and thinks to himself, why should I bother going after girls? Let them come to me. His ex will be a pain in the ass. If he says he will never talk again, she will somehow put him down and prove to him that in the past, he cannot resist but talk to her. In a way she wins, but when he stops talking then she will realise the effects. You see the ‘New Guy’ may think his ex is a complete bitch, a stuck-up cow who has no dignity whatsoever but the ‘New Guy’ somehow will make sure she has a positive life. His negativity towards her will have an underlying positivity that she remains safe and well out of harm. In fact the ‘New Guy’ is not nice and is not typical, he is in between. He can make a girl feel like a Queen or like a woman on the streets.

So this ‘New Guy’ I have not called it a ‘nice guy’ because they do not exist. These ‘nice guys’ are fake and they have underlying negativity over a girl, in fact they are so cheap that in their ‘nice’ ways they will control the girl. No one will see it but he is a cunning dog controlling his bitch. The ‘New Guy’ will show he can be typical if needs be but he can be nice when needs be. He doesn’t have to be typical unless the girl deserves to be shown what she is worth.

Now, with the emergence of the ‘New Guy’ has made sure that his ex will hate him for life. None of his exes will want to be near him because they know he has no fear to express what he feels. He is open in saying ‘I am playing mind games’ but you see the ‘nice guy’ will play mind games in her personal life. He will control her life. The ‘New Guy’ will say openly how much he hates his ex but will happily romance her at the same time. A bit like the character ‘Dr House’ from House M.D! An acid tongue but an honest heart.

With the ‘New Guy’ the ‘New Girl’ has emerged. She doesn’t mind staying single, she is no longer dependent on the male. In fact, she is exactly like the ‘New Guy’ but just the opposite gender. Romantic but with a sense of reality. A sense of expression with no repression. It is risky to express reality but they can do it. Now all that needs to be done is for the ‘New Guy’ and ‘New Girl’ to meet and prove to the ‘nice’ and ‘typical’ guys and girls, that we are the whole package, we are multi-dimensional not one-dimensional like you fools!

Rahul N Singh

The Past

Question: Is it possible to let go of the past?

Poem:

The past is not tomorrow,

Tomorrow is not the past.

Today is nothing but my day,

Live today without a tomorrow.

Live today without a yesterday.

Live now and melt in the present.

Allow the present to wrap around you,

Let compassion bring you warmth.

Answer: First of all, what is the past? The past is simply moments that you had lived. But the question is did you really live those moments of the past? Can you honestly say that the past is completely yours? It never is yours until you have complete awareness throughout each day. Love is always linked to the past. Everyone clings on to the past due to love. It keeps their hopes up of a reconciliation if they remember the past. The past relationships are always important as they teach us valuable lessons. But the love of the pasts tend to showcase our mistakes or our ex partner’s relationships. Don’t expect your ex-partner to own up to their mistakes. They may not see it as mistakes, which means they are bound to make the same mistakes again. Then there are people who learn and try to rectify their mistakes, they make sure that things improve in the future. Forget the future, they must concentrate on the current situation, the current moments. Completely aware of the ‘now’.

Sometimes, we do things by chance, or we take a leap of faith. Sometimes, it is living the past is what creates confusion. I always say that if you have someone that is willing to love you, then accept it. Accept the love. Accept the pure moment of it. Not many people have the opportunity to receive love. Even love is a very complex topic, let us say that the movies, novels, poems give you a false aroma about love. It is nothing like, he will do everything for you, he makes you smile, he makes you dance in joy, he makes your heart beat faster. This is just silly things. Love is a complete circle. It is something that is received, you cannot feel complete by giving love. You need to know how to receive it first. Receiving love is the most difficult aspect to do. It is the acceptance. Everyone believes the other has ‘bad or wrong intentions’, in fact it is your intentions that will bring all the force together to create the ‘bad or wrong intentions’. We must be open to love. We should not say no to it. Love is just a stage, it is not the complete picture. It is half a picture. The other half of the picture is hate. Where there is love, there is hate. They have to exist. In fact, the person you think is your true love is possibly the one you will hate the most eventually. The whole point of that hatred is that you also gave that same amount of love too.

So how does one transcend the whole dimension of love and hate. Then we must go a notch higher. We must look at compassion. Not the compassion that the priests and Gandhi talked about. The compassion in terms of the complete passion. Compassion’s definition in my words is very simple. Compassion is the continuous conscious passion. This is the last stage of ‘love’. That is true love. This true love is only attained, if you love who you are. If you love the person that you are, the person that you are completely aware of. You are aware of the passion. Passion is strong. It is very sexual but very sensual too. It is very sensitive. If you have someone that can give you compassion, they will be the best partners ever. Even if it is short-lived. However, those compassionate people, they know that the energy of love is within them first. It is them who share that passion. It is not really sharing either. It is something that can be caught. You catch it. It attached itself unto you like a sweet fragrance. Compassion makes you live in the moment. It doesn’t remind you of the past nor the future. Just the present. The present is called the present for a reason, it is a gift. You will never get it again. You must know what it is like to receive a gift. Those moments where you unwrap those presents. That is what it feels like when you live with complete awareness. Loving each moment.

The past should be forgotten. Especially the psychological side of it. Remember the facts but forget the feelings attached to it. If you love someone just the same today, right now, in the present then it does not matter about yesterday. Yesterday was a different day. Today is a new day. A special day is today. Yesterday is something you cannot change, it doesn’t have to affect your present and it will not, if you live in it today. Forget the future too, who knows if it will come. I wouldn’t say go for the safe option right now, go for the one that looks the most difficult. Take the risks. Love today not tomorrow. Be compassionate now not later. If you live in today, with compassion, with no psychological memory and with complete awareness then you can forget the past within seconds. It will melt in front of your own eyes.

Enjoy your moments,

Rahul N Singh