The presence of a thought appeared this morning, Fresh and crisp as if it was ironed out completely, I wonder how this thought came into my psyche, When the thought went away, I was in mourning. This thought appeared initially dusty and worn, As if lying somewhere completely old and withdrawn, It was from the dark mind of insidious scorn, Today the mind decided it was to be re-born. So back to the same old thought I travelled again, On this trip I went on the journey with the thought, And then I came to clarity in a flash of zazen, Stillness and stability of mind that I finally caught.
When we look into our own minds, we have to wonder where each thought has appeared from. We need to inquire into it’s origin? Also, has it caused limiting beliefs? Does it take away my freedom? Does it stop me from growing? Can I be in awareness with these type of thoughts for long?
If we decided to invest time and look into our mind, understand its nature and see how we can improve it, we would focus on making the most out of our mind – only when we understand that it knows its place, as a friend to my consciousness, not an enemy.
The space of ego is as large as you want it to be, and it can be the tiniest and even non-existent force in your life. It depends on how invested you are in keeping your ego. It is not that you can’t be spiritual if you have an ego. It is just that the vastness of spirituality will be smaller according to the vastness of the ego.
We all know what we need to do to grow, however the time and effort to do so, is totally something else. All I know is that observing the mind is a practice that needs to continue and continue, until it becomes clear on what the mind actually is.
The insight to be discovered in our own mind is extremely important as it shows us where we need to grow and what we need to let go of.
Many times we hold on to limiting beliefs and they block us from moving forward, we keep making the same mistakes again and again. Or we get the same results again and again. The only way to let go of limiting beliefs is to understand who we really are.
If we see ourselves as the creator of our lives, then we will reprogram our mind to think differently, to respond differently.
Limiting beliefs is simply those beliefs that keep you at square one, no matter how much you think you are moving forward.
Therefore, see yourself as a Creator and if that is done then watch how you take every thought and intention with so much awareness that they can never escape you. Hence, meditation is so important because we get to that clear space where we are open to making changes to our beliefs.
Nothing lasts forever, so why should our vices?
This questions always takes me to a contemplative state.
Do I make the choices or have external situations slithered their way into making the choices for me?
I believe the most powerful tool that we have is the human mind. The human mind has a choice on what thoughts it wants to entertain. If this is the case then although there may be external influences on one’s thoughts, it is observed that we have the choice to accept it or not. This may require a level of self-awareness initially in order to recognize such circumstances.
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own . . .” — Epictetus, Discourses, 2.5.4–5
As we read from Epictetus, it is simple that we have to understand what is under my control. The body and all that is attached to it is not under our control. We could get an illness and that is an external influence as we have little control over that. However, the mind has the choice to accept a thought or not.
When we accept that we make our own choices, we tend to live a life stemmed in awareness and strive for understanding. We are calm as we know that we can’t blame other people or situations. Having an acute awareness of every thought is what makes every thought more precious and undeniably our own possession. Positive thinking does more with the mind than anything else.
Everyday can feel like a test. Anything you do, you may find peace in it and then suddenly something has to disturb it. Or a situation occurs and you question whether it is to throw you two steps back or brings things forward.
Recently, I have found that I am being tested a lot. You feel that you are about to enter a comfortable few moments of your life and things seem to be working your way and then a blast from the past arrives and it weaves it’s sacred way into your present. You realise that this situation has arisen because there is a lesson to be learned but what is the lesson? What am I suppose to do? What is the best thing to do?
Inner turmoil appears and disappears, appears and disappears and finally you come to a nice sanctuary – your inner Self. Away from the hustle bustle of thought, the unnecessary chat, the falsifying expressions of emotion and feelings and the sanctuary feels like the best place to be…until it chucks you out.
You know that the best thing that happened to you was in the past and now that it makes your way into the present, you are a little confused. I say ‘you’ but I mean ‘I’! Here is my reflection and therefore I continue. You feel that the best thing wants you, it desires you abut there is a problem! The future is knocking and the present moment will not let it in. The future is shouting and expressing so much to lure you into giving up so that the present can feature the future. But neither the past nor future is real but only your present. Now, is your present worthy to keep the past or is it worthy to continue into the future.
Very rarely but it happens, you are chatting to someone whom you care about deeply, you feel high like as if you have taken a drug whenever you speak to this person. And although this person doesn’t admit it, they feel high after speaking to you. It’s amazing, it’s everything you want but whatever makes you high will result either in a crash landing or a safe landing.
The landing is always rough and uncontrollable. The future that looked stable has a new dimension added into it. The past wants a piece of it. And me, the present wants the past. No matter how many times it has let me down, disappointed me, distracted me, disturbed me, I find an incredible urge, desire, need to allow this past take charge of my present.
I am being really cryptic at the moment, using different styles because this is what happens when you become more intune with yourself. Nothing is ever linear. Nothing can occur in successive linear movement, life is full of waves, it travels in waves and it is best to surf on the tide!
People want answers and you can’t give any. Is there an answer? Do I need to give an answer? I don’t know. Do I need answers? Definitely. Maybe it is time to take a step back and see what I want. I need to take some time for myself and allow the limitations of my mind explore the vastness of what is occurring. Let life flow with absolute ease and beauty. Maybe the past can build in the present to create a wonderful future.
His love and blessings,