With Baba Ji – my journey continues…

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You can wake up in the morning, everything will occur as normal but something is missing, something just doesn’t feel right. That is how I feel everyday since my Spiritual Master left His body three years ago.

His kindness, His humility and His loving personality won many hearts and it definitely won mine. I spend time thinking about Baba ji, my Spiritual Master very often in the day. Whether it is a walk down the corridor, I think of Him and my eyes well up with tears. I am in the car and I look at the clear blue sky and a flash of His image appears in front of, obviously from my own mind, but yet a sign to say, nothing truly dies. I am sitting in my temple, and a thought that Baba ji gave is heard and my heart skips a beat, as if not knowing what to do with the thought that He is known in the past tense now.

He was someone where my spirituality began, where my spirituality continues and where my spirituality will one day end. He is my past, my present and my future. I haven’t loved anyone as much as I have loved Him and I know so many, that feel the same way with me.

The great thing about Baba ji was that He somehow was able to reflect however you saw Him. If you saw Him as a cool person, He was just a cool person. If you saw Him as a person you admire for His sincerity, that is what He reflected. For me, I was fortunate, very lucky by fate or my own faith that I was able to see Him as my Satguru, my Spiritual Master of Truth. For me, He was a God and much more. Maybe this is why there is a lot of pain in the physical loss as right now, I am in growing pains, I am trying to realize the subtle form of His that I know He had planted into me when I was initiated with His wisdom.

I have often said that I reached a peak of one mountain when He was alive and when He died, He took me from that peak and placed me at the bottom of the largest mountain one can ever perceive. For some, they may find that Rahul isn’t as spiritual as He used to be, he was calmer before, he didn’t get so angry but actually I have started climbing this mountain, which I literally have no map to guide me with except my own self. All I know and what I totally have faith and trust in is that I have to find the compass of the inner guru within me – sooner, rather than later.

I am now content in that I cannot change anyone, inspire anyone, or even truly advise them on their spiritual journey except for what I know and like I said right now, I don’t know much as I am climbing this mountain, of which I have climbed only a few steps up. So everyone literally has to bear with me here.

What I have learned is that these three years, which was literally about abseiling down the mountain of which, I had reached my peak. I had to take the valuable lessons and be thankful for they have taught me so much. Now the Master is going to advise me from within but the foundation of all that will be advised from now is literally from what I learned from my Spiritual Master before His passing.

All I now know and what I knew before was that it was all up to me. I had to have the faith and I had to be in charge of my growth. Nobody could take me there. I recall a conversation that I had with Baba ji when I was around 19 years old. We were walking at the Center for Oneness, West London and for some strange reason, Baba ji stopped walking and stepped inside as we were in mid-conversation. It was only me and Him. I poured my heart to Him and said “Baba ji, I am struggling. I am doing sumiran (remembrance) but I am not connecting. I feel my faith is weak.” Baba ji looked at me, smiled and in a quizzing manner. “Rahul ji, I don’t understand how your faith is weak when it is so strong?” I just stared into His eyes for a few seconds, my eyes moist, lost in His humility, His love and His mercy I bowed and touched His feet for around 10 seconds, to which when I was getting up, He was holding my shoulders and He gave me the biggest hug. As we pulled away from the hug, we both gave the biggest smiles to each other and we both bowed as I stepped away so another devotee could talk to Him.

This conversation changed the whole direction of my spiritual journey. I started questioning my whole belief system a couple of years later in order to get what I perceived as ‘weak’ faith into something so strong that it is unbreakable. However, a lesson I have learned recently is that I was in charge of my faith. I decide whether it is strong or weak and that whatever faith you have for yourself, is how much faith you truly have with the Master. If you feel you are incapable then the Master can do very little to change that because you feel incapable. However, you can feel incapable but you know your Master is with you, within you so now you are absolutely capable and this brings forth a very strong faith.

I have a lot to thank Baba ji for and He knows how much He means to me and nothing can change that. No philosophy, no teaching can change that. Like I said earlier, it ends with Him. We are meant to have full faith in a living Master, to which I absolutely agree with. Living is subject to one’s definition. Does someone have to be physically alive to be living? Or can someone be alive through consciousness itself -in a more subtle form? One of the rules of nature is that energy never dies but is transferred. All that has happened to Satguru Baba Hardev Singh ji on this day, three years ago was that the energy that was physical or gross matter became subtle matter.

This post has come from a lot of reflection with some meditation too. I don’t know if what I believe in right now will give me liberation but all I do know is that I know that is my destination. Thank you Baba ji. Love You and miss You! Your child forever.

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Surrender – The Final Episode

humilityHow easy is it to surrender?

The moment I let go of who I am and become the ‘I am’ then surrender is there. Surrender isn’t making yourself any lower, in fact it takes you on a higher dimension. You may want to ask, how is it that surrender helps? Why should I give an Unknown energy or person more power over me? The issue with power is that it is all ego. When you see your Master or the Text and you see the Truth in those elements expressed in every sentient energy existing on the planet, you can surrender as there are no differences between you and any thing else. All are One. All are sparks of the Divine. Letting go of your ego is one sure way of becoming something more universal.

Speak of the Universal Truth – does this make it easier to surrender?

We haven’t tackled the aspect of surrender yet. What does it mean? I have a Satguru – a True Master or True Guru. Now, He is my reflection whenever I enter awareness of the Formless. This is where no thoughts appear, no emotions, no language, no sound, no feeling, no intention etc. It is pure. In this state, surrender is natural as you have nothing to give up. Without thought, the ego cannot survive. Living in the now, just being is the main practice and way of life for a devotee. It is not that thought does not occur; you are simply not what you think. When you are not what you think, you become what you are – the ‘I am’, the soul, the consciousness that pervades everywhere. The Universal Truth is contained in the ‘I am’ but is yet, beyond the ‘I am’. It is beyond consciousness. It can be consciousness but consciousness cannot become the Universal Truth.

How can the Universal Truth help me in my daily life like my job?

Who is it that is living? Who is it that is breathing? Who is it that has a job? There is only the personality that functions in that space. However, we enter times when life becomes too much. Sometimes you parents do not understand you, or your friends fail to give a helping hand. Or you may find the workload at school and work is getting overwhelming and you feel the pressure is crushing you. In these moments, only speak if necessary. Otherwise, just stay silent and observe for a minute what is happening. Watch your thoughts, emotions, intentions, attitude all appear and disappear in the screen of your consciousness. Once, you have taken the step back you will find yourself calm again as the screen only projects what the mind perceives. Once you watch this, you find a separation between the mind and the screen. Therefore, in this moment you know the observer is still, silent and forever in calming bliss. This screen is the Universal Truth and it’s tool for you to differentiate between reality and the illusion of perception. Perception is all you have but perception is not who you are.

Is surrender the end goal?

Surrender is a journey. Some can do it instantly and some take time. It takes me time. I have to remind myself constantly that this is not me and I am beyond all this. I have to observe the screen and watch the projection fade away and appear and fade away. This is why yoga is done. Yoga is not someone breathing or doing the physical exercises, a time comes in yoga when the doer becomes the doing. The yogi observes the body doing yoga. This is why yoga is important and aids meditation unless you have access to the Universal Truth, which I fortunately have. Surrender is not a goal to be achieved; it is something that happens behind the scenes. When you realise that all of life is simply a play, a little drama in the whole universe, you simply let go and become of service to the Universe and Humanity that finds its home in the grandest stage of them all.

I cannot surrender so easily to what basically is nothing.

This statement is not you but the ego that thinks it is you. What do you mean you cannot surrender so easily to basically nothing? Say even if you have to surrender to someone, is it easier then? Yet, you do surrender. Do you not surrender to your boss out of fear of losing your job? Do you not surrender to the politicians for the hope of change? Do you not surrender to your parents for some pocket money or help? Do you not surrender to a loved one for expression of love or a fancy gift? Do you not surrender to intoxicants like alcohol, nicotine and drugs in order to feel the intoxication? The moment your ego wants something from someone, you surrender. You do not realise this but it happens. You surrender to very mundane things, yet surrender to God or Universal Truth or to a Guru is something you will never consider. You will find that somehow, some way or another you are searching for these things. You can mask it with things like peace of mind, bliss, mindfulness etc. All it is that you are looking for a door to walk through and all you are doing is walking into the door, instead of knocking. The Universal Truth is everything, the True Guru is everything and it is only when you lose yourself then you find that. Now, losing yourself, who are you? Nothing. And if this ‘nothing’ surrenders to everything then what does it become? Everything! In fact, you do not become ‘nothing’ you become ‘no-thing’. Only a ‘no-thing’ can become everything. This is when not a single element is in your being. You are a clean slate. Become a clean slate and watch the Universal Truth pour in.

Surrender makes sense now, why can’t it be fast?

Do not look for results because that is intention, thought and emotion. Just be. Be in being and everything will take place at its own pace. There is no rush. You have eternity to make this happen. You will find time is a concept in order to live in the world but you are timeless. This whole universe is timeless. We use time to help us understand the Timeless. Therefore, surrender is timeless.

Once I surrender, what happens?

Don’t think about it too much that you forget to be in being. Just relax. Take it easy and realise that this life isn’t yours. There are two moments in life that you had and have no control over. Your own birth and death. When it happens, nobody knows and you have no say in the matter. Nobody can save you. The moment you are born, you are a ticking time bomb. You are ready to go at any moment. Life has become conditioned to such an extent that we forget that we are ready to go. The next moment, I may not finish this sentence and I could be gone. It is all well and good. I know that I cannot go anywhere. I am always here. I am always in the now. I am every particle in the universe, every atom contains me and I am contained in every atom. Everyone is a reflection of me and I am a reflection of everyone else. I am both timeless and time bound. I am both limited and limitless. I am both one and many. I am both form and formless. I am both false and truth. I am both motion and stillness. There is no contradiction in life, all is complementary and has a function in the grand scheme of everything. Every action is not my action, although I may perform it. Every thought is not my thought, although it arises in my mind. Every intention is not my intention, although it is perceived in the screen of consciousness. You are both the observer and the observed. You are the watcher and the watched, the witness and the witnessed. When this happens, you enter into the realm of the Divine – the Universal Truth.

Meditation and yoga, no matter how secular you make it, it will become a spiritual practice. Spiritual realisation does not belong to religion. Religion belongs to spiritual realisation. Without realisation, religion is good as dead. The Universal Truth is Formless and this Formless pervades and is immersed in all consciousness. Without the Formless, consciousness cannot be. You are Formless, a spark of the Divine and your consciousness has always known this despite being filled with the ego. Let go of who you think you are and inherit what you have been, what you are now and what you always will be. Surrender makes you awesome because what you are surrendering to will always be awesome. Surrender is the first and final episode of your existence, as and in the Formless.

His Love and Blessings,
Rahul N Singh